Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

daisy_1571

The other new lady started today (the one who got the 0.5 contract) and by the afternoon she looked like a rabbit in headlights 🙈 after class we went to the office and instead of trying to sort log in issues out on the computer she just said, I'm going. 🙈 I hope she comes back. She seemed nice. And I don't want to be left with both jobs on my own 🙈🤣. 


Glad you got week1 out the way.

There may be more to it of course and that's between her and her manager but to stop this festering (cos I know it would with me) I'd be tempted to ask your own line manager whats happening with all her unworked hours.  I'm assuming you don't work a flexi system but over the 3 days you've mentioned it shes got away with some significant time.


Plus re the above quote 'And I don't want to be left with both jobs on my own 🙈🤣'  No no no!  Put a stop to that as soon as it would be mentioned.   You are there to do your hours and however much of your job as you can within that time.  Any extra tasks that get added on, you have to find out whether they are more important than the tasks you were planning on doing.  They would be instead of not as well as. ts not up to you, newest in the door, to decide what's important.   And no one should be expected to absorb an extra half job into theirs and do it all otherwise the jobs were wrongly set out in the first place.  Stand firm.  Not being awkward or confrontational, just setting out "i have x hours this afternoon, which task should I concentrate on and if you aren't sure then I will do my own job so its easier to see that its 'Mary janes job' that isn't being done due to her absence".  Something like that.  Be ready for it.  Too often have I not spoken up immediately, let things slip, done it just this once or 'for now' and then become resentful so I'd now always advise being ready for worst case scenario (but hopefully not ever needing to say anything). 


Hopefully she will be back next week, do her proper hours and it will all blow over.  😀 


Dxx

KajiKita

Wow 🤩 15 years of MSE membership!! That’s longer than a lot of marriages! 😊👏

KK

beanielou

Happy MSE birthday to you. 

beanielou

KajiKita said:

Wow 🤩 15 years of MSE membership!! That’s longer than a lot of marriages! 😊👏

KK

Longer than mine. 

skint_spice

Happy MSE birthday x

Humdinger1

Happy MSE birthday indeed! @debtfreewannabe321,  you've truly had your lightbulb moment and are now helping others.  That's what counts love Humdinger xx 

debtfreewannabe321

Aw thanks all  🥳

So Sunday afternoon already, where has my weekend gone!
Yesterday DP & I dropped DD off at work, as she was going to the car she confided in me that one of her dad's gf dogs passed away and she had just found out. It was her favourite dog that was allowed to stay with her every time she went to her dad's house so she had company (her therapy dog I think). So she was understandably upset  
DP & I went to the local country park and had a walk round, got our steps in for the day and was home in time for s'bury to turn up with the shopping about ten minutes later. We decided to have a date afternoon and I booked us into a restaurant in town. Just as we sat down and was reading through the menu (not sure why I bother I always order the same thing ) my phone pinged saying I had a notification from messenger that my sister had sent a pic. I usually would ignore it as we were out on a date but I thought, she never messages me any more, so I opened it to find a picture of me and DP sat at our table reading our menus 😵‍💫 it took a moment, then I realised they are obviously in the restaurant so I put my glasses on and looked around and sure enough across the way she was sat there with her partner, youngest son and her in-laws. I got up and went over to say hi and we were asked if we wanted to sit with them, I just couldn't say no, even though I was thinking, well, you never talk to me, and also I haven't seen DP in a week and want to properly catch up 🙈 so we ended up moving and sitting with them.
The in-laws are interesting, his mother has and always will complain about food unless it's pie mash n liquer or some other 'familiar' food she's eaten all her life, the husband is very quiet, but nice and barely speaks she makes up for it (I've known them both 25 years), and my sis partner looked awful I hadn't seen him in a long time and when I saw him last he had finished chemo - basically it didn't work. He's been put on palliative care now and looks a shadow of his former self. He's younger than me and always looked good for his age- no wrinkles, no grey hair, but he is now super skinny and at 6'4" it makes it more obvious somehow, I really felt for him and my sister. By the end of the meal I felt pity and sympathy, and forgiveness and empathy all rolled into one. MIL had left her dinner almost untouched and complained a million times, my sis DP also hadn't really touched his but more because he was ill and just couldn't, and the FIL had quietly eaten his and just got on with it It was 'new' food to them and they hadn't tried it before, I don't think they will be back again in a hurry   I got my blue light card out to pay as it was 20% discount and bro in law said, I have one of those I didn't realise we'd get a discount, so he pulled his out, and said I won't be able to renew as I don't work there any more (hospital) it runs out in December, I felt awful, but the thought crossed my mind, would he even be here by then? We said our good byes and as someone who easily feels other's pain and emotions I just felt like I wanted to sob my heart out after. 
Tough afternoon. 
We waited in a pub near DD work which was overwhelming and noisy, but I needed the loo about ten minutes after leaving the restaurant so needed to go somewhere thankfully it was only half hour or so we needed to wait. We had bought DD a big bar of choc as she was so sad when she had gone in, and she seemed happy with that and  promise of a pizza for her dinner. 

This morning I used my new doctor, chat gpt, because my real doc is absolutely useless. I sat and plugged in every single symptom that is bothering me that is NEW this last year, and asked if there was any correlations in any of it. So between me, my new doc chat, and the side effects paperwork from the HRT i have decided to taper it off completely. I am almost certain this is what's caused the rapid decline in my eyesight not as real life useless doc suggested- age. I went from almost 20-20 to a prescription of 1.75 in 8 months. 🤔 My brain feels like it shakes in my head, I have issues with my eyes when looking at scrolling on a phone or computer, when I change position of my head too fast and a few other issues similar, all related to the dizziness I continue to have which is progressively getting worse.  "vestibular-ocular mismatch" is what chat called it. So no more real doc for me, I will go to the appointments for hearing and MRI if I get one but I am following a plan we've put together to taper off the HRT, change diet to low histamine for now and also add in some stress relief programme for myself. Stress can be a huge contributor and I have been under a lot of this the last few years with feelings of abandonment, grief, the house moves and going back into the work place after being self-employed and working from home for so long, it was just all too much. This can also have an effect on the body which is causing these issues. Who'd have thought the day would come that I trust a computer over a human, and yet here we are. 🤦‍♀️ So I have printed off a meal plan to start next weekend as I have already bought my food for this week - most of it is ok but some bits not great- and the supplements I take are all fine, and meditation needs to be a big factor going forward. Twice a day if possible, which I did manage most of last week to be honest, only Friday I failed to do it. And this weekend was a total miss so far as my routine was thrown out with DP home. So I will meditate this afternoon and this evening before bed to be back on track. I wonder if I can get some of these bits right that the hot flushes will calm (I am thinking stress and post meno are to equally blame for them) and my eyesight may feel better along with the dizzy spells calmed down. I can but keep on trying

DP has gone already today, he's off to Wales for a few days with work. We are both hoping February will be much calmer as we have eased into our new jobs by then and all the stress of the first few weeks are out of the way. I can but hope  

The household jobs are done, I just need to put the washing in the TD in a mo, maybe do a bit of ironing for things I know I need for the week, and I might even start the online shopping order ready for next weekend so I haven't got to do it all during the week. Next week is my first full week so I am quite nervous. Monday is a day where I am out of college most of the day, only popping back for a couple of hours, Tuesday also the same where I will be going with the tutor to placements to do reviews (glad she is coming so she can teach me on the job). Wednesday I will be in class I think and possibly the same for Thursday, I haven't planned that far ahead yet. Friday is also unplanned so need to find something to do. DP will need the car 3-4 times a month he reckons so I need to sort DD car out so the insurance on that covers business use as well so i can use either. I'm going to just chill this afternoon in between those jobs and watch a bit of my programme and read my book- I am close to the end on that one, and I will wander up to my room I think to meditate in a bit too.

beanielou

Wow. That’s a lot. 

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

Wow. That’s a lot. 

I know verbal diarrhoea 🤣 however feeling better for writing it all down lol. 😉😁

KajiKita

Sounds like your sister has a LOT on her plate, but she did photograph and message you, which is quite a playful thing to do. And you were asked to sit with them. I know it’s not the same as the relationship you once had, but it doesn’t sound absolutely dead to me. How did it feel for you to be with her? Or was your energy too full of the state of her DP? Did you mention your wedding to her?

I agree about stress having a huge impact on the body. I realise that I am STILL surfacing / recovering from the crazy-job which I left 18 months ago. I think some of the unpacking, unraveling and recovering I am doing is also going back into my childhood (based on some of my dreams and memories that are surfacing). You may well be doing deeper work than you realise too. 

Well done on all the house chores 😊 Enjoy your chill time 😊

KK