Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

@beanielou thank you & hope you're okay now and healing?
Thank you @daisy_1571 @KajiKita @Watty1 @liltdiddylilt (welcome🥳 glad to 'see' you back) I think I made the right decision too, I almost went storming straight to my office to speak to management, it was highly stressful and completely unrealistic expectations but I'm glad that 1- the office was out of my way and I was tired 2- I did think to myself, go home and think about this before doing it. That's progress for me  

Today I have spent a good couple of hours on the CMS losing the will to live. Omg they absolutely LOVE to make it hard work for you to find ANYTHING on there don't they. Anyway I eventually saw that I am due NO payments apparently for DD - no reasoning behind this according to them a letter is in the post- just like the last one I never received no doubt. Lost my rag so to speak and spent most of that time on chat gpt writing a complaint and wanting answers as to why the case appears to be closed and why no payment is due. Chat gpt did it's best to reign in my ranting letter to make it unemotional bot speak that should get a response🤦‍♀️ I couldn't find where to upload it so uploaded it as evidence. *shrugs shoulders* probs in wrong place, but by this point, whatevs. ALSO printed it and will send recorded delivery on Monday before my hospital app. 
Jaysusssssssssssss C that was hard work it's enough to make me want to go and open the bottle of wine on the side that hasn't bothered me in a month  

I cannot wait until I never have to deal with ex*insert swear word of choice here* ever again. Smug *insert 'nother swear word* 

Okay, and breathe.................... *sigh* 

I went to the gym this morning and sauna and I had also done the food shop and got it out the way, spent too much, I blame hab1tat in sainsbugs for having a sale - I bought cutlery. I did need some tbf spoons and knives have a tendency to go walk about round here. I think I have most of the knives in my painting box where i've used them for opening paint, ruined them with paint and left them in box, forgotten about them and got a new one next time and spoons I think go to die under DD bed with an empty yoghurt pot for the most part. So around £65 spent there. Had a £6 off coupon and also used CB so should have been £70 something. So we shouldn't be fighting over spoons and knives any more anyway lol. 

I intend to sit and do sfa right now in front of the spy box in our living room and mong. With some sweets if I can find any. --- I know I am on a diet, I had a healthy lunch promise. 

skint_spice

I also spent money in that sale today! Two throws for the sofas but they are so cosy😂

debtfreewannabe321

Hello all, 
@skint_spice I also picked up a throw and then thought about how many I already have and put It back 🤣.

My energy is a bit flat today, DS2 has been weighing heavily on my mind this last week. I am going to delete all the school emails I get from his new school. I have nothing to do with any decisions or parents evenings or trips any more and yet I keep receiving reminders and emails and messages about homework etc. it stressful and it also takes me back to a place of pure anger that DS2 has always been my responsibility and ex only wanted to take over when DS2 turned 16 (already a mini adult). So I'm going to hide these from my inbox so I'm not continuously reminded of a big DS2 sized hole in my life.

DD is out with DP for a driving lesson. Her test is on Wednesday. I and everyone else have everything crossed she passes but nerves are beginning to show on her. 

I'm feeling a tad nervous for my first day tomorrow at work, DP is going away all week too as he always does when I have a stressful week 🥲🫣! He's off on a course in Essex and DD and I will have a stressy week up here on our own. 🫠 Hopefully we'll get to this time next weekend though and be feeling much happier. 
I've my hospital appointment in the morning then I will go straight to work from there. 

From next week I won't be ordering the g0ust0 boxes any more. I find them loaded with high salt content (makes me dizzy) and finicky to make. I'm going to sit and do a meal plan this afternoon and I will get on Mr S and do a home delivery for next weekend with a meal plan in mind. My freezer is too small to do a lot of bulk cooking sadly so I can maybe make one or two extras but not much on top of that. I think I need to get myself a new freezer- and it won't be another chest one. I can't find anything in mine 🙈🤦🏻‍♀️. 

My cousin is staying with us on Tuesday night so she will take DD to the test centre for me Wednesday morning (she has a rush hour slot 🙈) and I'll take DD to the orthodontist in the afternoon. As even if she does pass i need to sort insurance out for her. 

NSD today and also made it to the gym so feeling like I've achieved something at least today 😊.

beanielou

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow. 

debtfreewannabe321

Well I've meditated today for the first time in a long time. I often do a body scan before sleep but I'm wanting to get back into a good routine of meditating daily again. I noticed I had a free six month premium thing with the f1tbit I bought so used one of the meditations on there today. Just ten minutes. So no overwhelm that i might be uncomfortable or in pain for longer laid or sat in one position. No annoying adverts from you toob half way through a meditation that make me launch my phone in shock/ disbelief/ anger. 
Meditation is what got me off antidepressants many years ago and also off many ledges, and has helped me with my C-ptsd. Lockdowns when they happened were very stressful for me for one reason and another and I got out of my routine and never went back to it. It was right around this time I began to pile weight on. Became overly stressed and exhausted. 
Odd how we can know what our problem is when we stop to think about it. How we can address it and fix it and yet we continue to self-sabotage our progress and healing, and indeed health. And pretend like we don't know what's wrong 🫣. 

I am sticking to the fasting still as I find my digestive system works better with a bigger break between eating but I'm laying off weighing myself every week because my weight seems to be stuck even after a good week..and when I'm constantly in fight, flight and freeze mode I *know* why, my system is exhausted ...so need to fix that first. I've done it before and can do it again. So here we go with plan B to better health (and not totally dissing plan A of diet and fasting but rather relaxing that and soothing my system first off). 
I'm going to attempt two meditations a day, two ten minute ones to begin with, right as I wake and right before bed. Perhaps it might help me sleep better too 😇!

ladybird1106

Good luck for tomorrow 
love 🐞

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @beanielou & @ladybird1106 🥰

slm6002

I really hope that tomorrow goes well for you at the doctors and the new job, and that DD is successful on Wed.  

Re the DS school emails, perhaps ask to be taken off the list as you aren't able to help with these things, but if something urgent like he is poorly or something concerning has happened ask them to call you instead.  That way if they happen to have a concern and email you, it wont have gone off into the pile of random emails not needed by you. 

Greying_Pilgrim

Hope all goes well today dfw321.

👋 @liltdiddylilt

Greying X

jwil

Hope all goes well today x