Moving on up! 🏡

Jessy103

@daisy_1571 @debtfreewannabe321 Boyo does already drive and has his own car. Unfortunately, he's having problems with it, so he left it in Leeds, to get it in a garage there when he's back at uni and caught the train down to us DH then picked him up from the train station. We found out late yesterday that his controlling grandad is now having the car recovered and brought back to Lowestoft from Leeds so he can be in control of getting it fixed!! Of course, boyo will then 'owe' him for doing this, even though he didn't ask him to. They are so maniputive and controlling that I worry boyo won't finish uni or even if does, he will end up back in Lowestoft for the rest of his life at their beck and call and under their control!

I must stress there is nothing wrong with staying in your hometown if that's where you want to be and its your own choice, but we're trying to encourage boyo to go out and live his life, and not be manipulated into what his family want him to do instead.

Jessy103

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81941741#Comment_81941741

Completely agree with you, Sammie x

beanielou

Poor boyo. So hope he can finish uni.

Jessy103

Thanks Beanie,me too x

Jessy103

After DH returned, we had a trip out to the range. Bought a few nice bits for the house there. I can't help feeling like I need to rein in my spending, just because I'm so used to not spending and putting it on a mortgage or into savings. I can afford it, it just feels wrong 🤣

We then had leftovers for dinner and a chilled out afternoon. Dogs were then walked, very windy here which I really don't like! One of my cleaning customers gave me some purple headed brocoli the other day, so I've made cheesy brocoli pasta with garlic bread for tea. Now to chill out before bed. I've finished Small Prophets on BBC which I really enjoyed, so I think I'll give Detectorists a go next 🙂

Jessy103

Oh and we bought some dishwasher cleaner and some dishwasher tablets, so the dishwasher has been cleaned out and we're now using it for the first time! Living the life of luxury here!

daisy_1571

Its difficult, I know it is, but id encourage boyo to not feel he 'owes' them - you seem like you both have a good relationshipwith him and can discuss these things letting him figure out for himself. He's legitimately in charge of how he feels and his own actions, he is perfectly within his rights to feel annoyed, angry, grateful, whatever he wants. Its good to learn others arent in charge of how he feels.

He was organising his car in the way he wanted. Granda decided to do his own thing without asking or consulting. Those are granda's actions and granda's feelings. Boyo can say 'thanks for getting that fixed this time granda but if anything goes wrong with it again I'm going to.....' then he's taking back a bit of control in advance, so he can be legitimately annoyed if they ignore it. Then if they do this kind of thing a third time he's in his rights to challenge the general set up more forcefully. At 19 and at university he can easily start putting up blocks on the things he doesn't want.

Of course, he may be telling you and his dad one thing but actually be perfectly happy playing helpless and letting them run around after them 😆 🤣

Dxx

Jessy103

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81942218#Comment_81942218

Very true, Daisy! With a family like that, wouldn't surprise me if he is good at manipulating a situation like that himself! I just can't get my head around people like that. As you may tell, I'm quite an honest and don't beat around the bush person 🤣

Jessy103

The mortgage balance has updated this morning but oddly it is now £190,999.91. Not sure why it has taken a few extra pence off, something to do with the interest, maybe? 🤔 As you can imagine having a number like that is driving me insane, but the first direct debit comes out on the 7th April, so do I leave it until then or make a small overpayment to make a more tolerable figure 🤣

beanielou

Make the OP of course 🤣