i swear i could kill my 2year old.

Kimitatsu

Hi OP

I had a two year old just like yours! My DS1 did not sleep in his own room until he was 3 and that was a struggle!

Like your son he is very bright but has never ever needed much sleep, he didnt sleep through the night until he was almost a year old and seemed to have a constant need to be able to touch me.

When he was 2, we put another bed in our room and he slept in that, that seemed to e ok as he could hear other people in the room and he would quite happily start to sleep on his own as long as he could hear other people if he woke in the night.

When he was 3 we moved him and his brother into his own room with a new bed - a big boys bed that he could only have if he stayed in his own room.

He is now 10 and still does not sleep particularlty well, and over the years we have seemed to run through a cycle of night terrors and afraid of the dark and then being fine. It may well be that your son is the same, bright and a vivid imagination that means the dark becomes a scary place.

You are not a bad parent or someone out of the ordinary, you have a lovely son and he will grow out of this phase. In the end I used to get a nap when he went for one in the afternoon as it was the only way I could get enough sleep, and without enough sleep I was like a bear with a sore head.

There is light at the end of the tunnel so stick with it!

squashy

Link as promised:

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html

* Heron's (1) recent cross-sectional study of middle class English children shows that amongst the children who "never" slept in their parents bed there was a trend to be harder to control, less happy, exhibit a greater number of tantrums. Moreover, he found that those children who never were permitted to bed-share were actually more fearful than children who always slept in their parents bed, for all of the night (1).

* Crawford (3) found that women who coslept as children had higher self esteem than those who did not. Indeed, cosleeping appears to promote confidence, self-esteem, and intimacy, possibly by reflecting an attitude of parental acceptance (Lewis and Janda 1988).

Just dispelling a few myths. Hope you start to feel happy soon OP!

Bennifred

Janepig wrote: »

............................... I mean it's not like he's going to still be sharing a bed with you when he's 18?! I know that might sound flippant, but when DS is giving me grief at night I do try to think that when he's in his late teens I'm going to be lying awake worrying about him, but there'll be nothing I can do about it then because he'll be out and about with his friends - and I'm sure I'll be wishing then that he was still a toddler!!.........
Jxx

Never a truer word spoken!:D sleepless nights for different reasons, lol!

Janepig

squashy wrote: »

Someone mentioned cot death but in actual fact most cot deaths occur in babies that are in thier own cot in another room (plus there are factors such as bottle feeding and smoking which increase the risk), the figures regarding cosleeping cot deaths are skewed as they include people falling asleep on sofas with babies or people who have had alcohol or not followed safe co-sleeping guidelines. It is perfectly safe to co sleep. I will try and find a link for you.

I'll try hard not to be rude in this post, but !!!!!! is that statement? I consider myself to be fairly clued up, but never ever have I read anything to state that this is the case. Can you point me to the study you gleaned this nugget from?

This from the "Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths" leaflet on preventing cot death:-

• Place your baby on the back to sleep
• Cut smoking in pregnancy - fathers too!
• Do not let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby
• Do not let your baby get too hot (or too cold)
• Keep baby's head uncovered - place your baby with their feet to the foot of the cot
• The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in a room with you for the first six months
• Do not share a bed with your baby if you have been drinking alcohol, take drugs or if you are a smoker
• If your baby is unwell, seek medical advice promptly

If you're going to post advice that's great - try not to make it up though.:rolleyes:

Jxx

squashy

erm lets see what a quick google throws up

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1999991.stm


http://66.102.9.104/search?q=cache:FnMasd8FcdcJ:breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/2007/04/how_much_does_b.html+breastfeeding+reduce+sids+risk&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=8
http://66.102.9.104/search?q=cacheyK3ruGju0QJ:
www.breastfeeding123.com/sids-breastfeeding-and-co-sleeping/+breastfeeding+reduce+sids+risk&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=10

http://66.102.9.104/search?q=cache:c2olgc-_gaEJ:www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T102100.asp+breastfeeding+reduce+sids+risk+sears&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1

Janepig

Interesting, but just a snippet from the first link you posted:-

"Research in the UK has so far failed to show that breast-feeding helps protect against cot death".

Besides which, in your post you stated "bottle feeding (and smoking) which increases the risk [of cot death]". What you've posted (although I haven't read it thoroughly as I try to avoid scaremongering nonsense as a rule) seems to state that breast feeding may help protect against cot death (notwithstanding the snippet above) but no-where have I read that bottlefeeding increases the risk.

Jxx

squashy

Janepig wrote: »

Interesting, but just a snippet from the first link you posted:-

"Research in the UK has so far failed to show that breast-feeding helps protect against cot death".

Besides which, in your post you stated "bottle feeding (and smoking) which increases the risk [of cot death]". What you've posted (although I haven't read it thoroughly as I try to avoid scaremongering nonsense as a rule) seems to state that breast feeding may help protect against cot death (notwithstanding the snippet above) but no-where have I read that bottlefeeding increases the risk.

Jxx

Well my statement about bottle feeding was merely a logical conclusion to draw from the research suggesting that breastfeeding decreases the risk, ergo the alternative, ie bottlefeeding, has a higher risk.

In any case the OP is not asking about breastfeeding, I mentioned feeding method as an aside to demonstrate that SIDS risk is not a black and white issue purely based on where the baby sleeps.

squashy

http://www.awareparenting.com/sleep.htm

Back to the original question, I have found another interesting article about a baby's instinct to co-sleep, benefits of doing so etc. I am not trying to turn this into a slanging match thanks very much!

Janepig

squashy wrote: »

Well my statement about bottle feeding was merely a logical conclusion to draw from the research suggesting that breastfeeding decreases the risk, ergo the alternative, ie bottlefeeding, has a higher risk.

In any case the OP is not asking about breastfeeding, I mentioned feeding method as an aside to demonstrate that SIDS risk is not a black and white issue purely based on where the baby sleeps.

Not so - the "pro-breastfeeding" websites have helpfully drawn that "logical" conclusion, however more balanced organisations such as the FSID with no hidden agenda, have seen the research for what it is - inconclusive. Just another stick for the breastfeeding mafia to have a go at bottle feeding mothers with. I agree with you that co-sleeping per se is not dangerous providing you are sensible and follow the guidelines, however I stand by my original post that I do not believe your statement about the "risks of bottle feeding" was helpful in any way (as you might have guessed ). But I don't want to take this any further off topic so I'll crawl back into my bottle feeding disposable nappy using too posh to push corner.

Jxx