i swear i could kill my 2year old.

jpwhittle

i know the title sounds drastic but i really dont know what i did to deserve such a naughty child. im fed up of never getting anywere with him. we try and disciplin him and it results in him laughing at us. he refuses to sleep in his own bed. he was crying untill 2 this morning as i wouldnt let him in our bed. me and husband have no life because of him.
just ended up shouting again and undoing last nughts work then tapped his legs for constantantly getting up and screaming. then i feel guilty. but he wont learn. we had this when he was born as hes always been demanding but we sorted it but now hes on with a vengence.
hes really starting to get to me. i dont know how much more i can take what can i do iv checked everything else is ok

jo03

Have you tried star charts for him.Remember if you have tried it then it could be that-
His understanding of the expectations is not great
So make it simple and for one little objective like staying in bed for one hour gets him one star increasing it the better he gets.
Make the reward pre agreed he has to really want it put a picture of the reward next to the chart.
If he is not getting it and 2 is still young tailor it down a little make the star chart colouring in part of a nice picture for someone in the family when its all full a big song and dance about it like its the best thing he ever did.
Remember he is only 2 you need to be a united front never give into him or not back each other up or he will play you like a fiddle.I know its hard they dont call it the terrible twos for nothing.Is there anyone in family who could give you both a little break even overnight occassionally its amazing how a bit of sleep changes how it looks.You ARE good mum you came here to ask for help some people would struggle and may do something regrettable.
In my capacity as a mum then a childminder now a teaching assistant I have seen this before and I am big on star charts and colouring in you just have to be tough.

Janepig

I've got a little boy who's just turned two and can be hard work too (not like DD who is four and has always been an angel - she's saving it for her teens!!). He goes to bed okay but has started rousing at 3.30-4am and howling until he comes in with us. Then proceeds to lie awake until about 6.30am, going to sleep just before DH has to get up for work!!

Is there no way you can let your little boy share your bed for a bit longer? I mean it's not like he's going to still be sharing a bed with you when he's 18?! I know that might sound flippant, but when DS is giving me grief at night I do try to think that when he's in his late teens I'm going to be lying awake worrying about him, but there'll be nothing I can do about it then because he'll be out and about with his friends - and I'm sure I'll be wishing then that he was still a toddler!!

Good luck anyway!

Jxx

trinidadone

Hey jpwhittle, you seem to be at your whits end regarding your lovely two year old. If it helps, he seems to be displaying alot of behaviour two year olds do at this age. Your two year old does not seem to take you serious at all, and laughing may indeciate he feels it some sort of joke. I know this may appear odd, but sometimes children at this age will exhibit bad/negative behaviour, when they get little attention from being good.

Some clear boundries need to be put in place here, what sort of "naughty" things does he get up to? when you disipline him, what exactly do you do and for what reason?

It seems he has learned that if he continues to cry, he will eventually have his way. Although he is only 18 months ld, he needs a clear routine. supper, bedtime story, and good nite. He should be returned to his bed if he comes out. If you perservere, he will learn that his bed is his place. This may mean a few sleepness nites, but crying can be very exhaulting, and he will sleep. Ensure if he has a sleepness nite, that he gets up on his usual time, this will mean he will need to catch up on sleep, the following nite.

I know its really hard, but you must try and remain calm during stressful times. Often children will do things for a reaction, so simply put, if he does not achieve his desired goal, he wont continue with the behaviour. You mention "we" what is the other person doin about this?

Feeling guilty is natural, but what your doin does not seem to work for you and him. Can you think of any triggers relating to the behaviour? is he stimulated at home? does he get enough attention from you? is he in day care? do you attend a one o clock club or parent and toddlers drop in??

I have posed some questions, hope these is advice in there for you also

MyUserNamesTaken

Not intending to frighten you, but there's a chance it's not down to being a naughty child. He could have an ASD or ADHD. Don't be too quick to label him either way, but don't automatically assume he's just naughty and doing it on purpose to get to you. By the way, people with ASDs laugh inappropriately because they don't know how to respond to a situation. He sounds very much like my boy when he was that age...and my boy has Asperger's. As I said earlier, don't be too quick to judge either way...just keep an eye on it.

jo03

Is there a reason why he is wanting to be in with you that has been overlooked perhaps he is having bad dreams or is in need of a night light- I know not everyone has them.Has he recently made a move into a big bed perhaps if you can afford a new bedvoer or a bedroom makeover.Sites like freecycle often give away things like thomas the tank engine bedding or lampshades or similar.If you are not signed up already you could consider that.If he misses you in the night have you a perfume you wear that you could spray on his bedtime toy so your smell is around.

jopsey

Sorry only short reply ,got loads to do due to demanding little boy of 2 years 9 months .

My little boy can and sometimes is a MONSTER for dp and I ,but is good as gold at playgroup,with my parents , and generally anybody who gives him total attention - could he be bored not burning off that boundless energy they seem to have ?
do you get a break from him ? my little one goes playschool 3 sessions of 2.5 hrs a week and the difference it makes to us is fantastic .

Also like yourself I thought the naughty phase had passed when just before Christmas I was at my wit's end, he was so naughty even at playgroup (which he never is ) but the week before Christmas he came out in chicken pox and seems to have calmed now .

If you want to pm anytime feel free I know what your going through 100%

Take care and remember like everything with children it is just a phase and it will pass

SUESMITH_2

have you read toddler taming by christopher green, its well worth the money

http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Toddler-Taming-Bestselling-Parenting/dp/0091902584/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1199403982&sr=8-1

jpwhittle

he finally seems to have dropped of 2 hours tonight.
I used to have PND so maybe the new attention is strange to him i dont know. i do let him in bed with us after a certain time but hes started to want to come down and play or into our bed at 10 every night.
his dad never used to sleep either and i think in some strange way hes just like him. im not exagerating when i say he can go 24 hours on half an hours sleep.
i do need to give alitlle more positive attention but its something i always struggled with through the pnd and now dont know were to start as my baby is now a little man.
hopefully he will grow out of it like his dad did. its just hard when we are trying to get some alone time to. if noah had his way our sex life would go with the dinosaurs.
we dont have anyone who can babysit for us as we are in the RAF and live along way from home. i think thats the hardest part sometimes. everyone else has help on hand but we cant even go for a meal alone.
i take him out al over the place to tire him out we go to mums and tots twice a week and nursery twice a week but even then he only needs 2hours sleep and he can go forever again.
i do love him to bits ad would never hurt him i simply find thee lack of sleep hard to cope with im not good when im tired unlike father and son i need lots of sleep.
sorry for ranting im just so tired

jpwhittle

jopsey wrote: »

Sorry only short reply ,got loads to do due to demanding little boy of 2 years 9 months .

My little boy can and sometimes is a MONSTER for dp and I ,but is good as gold at playgroup,with my parents , and generally anybody who gives him total attention - could he be bored not burning off that boundless energy they seem to have ?
do you get a break from him ? my little one goes playschool 3 sessions of 2.5 hrs a week and the difference it makes to us is fantastic .

Also like yourself I thought the naughty phase had passed when just before Christmas I was at my wit's end, he was so naughty even at playgroup (which he never is ) but the week before Christmas he came out in chicken pox and seems to have calmed now .

If you want to pm anytime feel free I know what your going through 100%

Take care and remember like everything with children it is just a phase and it will pass

i know what you mean about the illness thing. hes having his first few nights in 6 months without some kind of cold. 6 months ago he got a chest and throat infection wich didnt go and gave him a hip infection wich supposedly is an arthritic type pain. and since then has had something wrong everyweek without fail. its been hard work but the last cough seems to be dying of now so hopefully thats it. but then hes back to nursery on tuesday so back to all the splutters that brings and he gets everything going.

slaterio

Hi

I am a family support worker by profession and can fully understand what you are going through, and although this may not give much comfort- it is perfectly normal for a child that age to try and test boundaries. The advice about a reward chart- try supernanny or use of 'time out' are particularly effective with under school age children. Are the any Childrens Centres near where you live? If so, please go and seek some support with this, you are a NORMAL PARENT!!!