i swear i could kill my 2year old.

jpwhittle

just an update but our more positive mood seems to be paying of a little today. just had tea and instead of getting stressed when he wouldnt eat we tried being more positive and i have never seen him eat so much. we just encouraged him more for eating then when he started to get bored we turned it into a game and said things like i bet you cant/wont eat all that yorkshire pudding. it was so funny and he eat everything we asked until he really was full. we had the noisiest teatime eve as everytime he ate we cheared so he wanted it more but it was definatly better than things have been.
just 10 o clock tonight to face now and hopefully he will sleep better due to more positive attention and a fuller belly.
thankyou everyone i relly have felt better today and its shown.

Janepig

Glad to hear you've had a better day. Btw is that the monster himself in your avvy picture? He looks like a lovely cheeky chappie!!!

Just remember you will have ups and downs - don't beat yourself up too much over the downs!

Jxx

jpwhittle

yep thats him. hes gorgoeus just demanding. my brothers 2 are so quiet and laid back but noah really needs so much attention. i love him to bits and know in reality im blessed to have him. i was ment to have him not my brothers and theres no way my brother could cope with a noah. the pnd just made things look worse than they were for the first 20months of noahs life and having just got over that sometimes its still hard.
thankyou again for all your help

clairec79

I'd ask at the nursery if they know any babysitter's. My mother used to run an RAF nursery - I ended up babysitting for the majority of the playgroup at some point or other. The parents felt more secure as they knew my mother so trusted me via her (and knew that she'd come as back up if something happened). The kids often knew me as I'd end up in the playgroup playing with the kids on inset days.

Once or twice I'd go over and babysit while the parent(s) were there so they could get to know me and get a break, even if it was just a bath while I played with the kids in the garden

Mice_Elf

Glad you're feeling better today.

One thing I would second is consistency. Both between you and your OH and with your son.

If you don't want your son coming into bed with you then every time he does this just calmly take him back to his bed saying "it's bedtime now, go to sleep." The 3rd plus time he does this, just calmly lead him back to bed, no matter how much he's crying and put him back to bed without saying anything.

Above all, remain calm and strong. It may mean an horrendous night or 4 initially, but eventually he will get the message, providing you remain calm and united with your OH.

Best of luck.

patchwork_cat

As far as the eating goes try not to stress - I did with my DS and made him finish his plate as during his first winter he had cold after cold and his weight plummetted - making me stressed as he grew. He now is overweight. His sister I didn't make her finish her plate and although she was odd about eating as a tot - 2 or 3 days of nothing, but protein and 2/3 days of nothing but carbs - I could see over a week it balanced - she is slim. She listens to her appetite. (I had given up work by the time my DD was born and I was more chilled) I always gave her a balanced meal on her plate and would let her choose - we also incidentally had a fruit only between meals policy started when she was about 2 and she will still eat lots more fruit and voluntarily than my DS. If they don't eat their meal tough nothing else offered - I do listen though if they have things that they hate. I think I ought to be more strict now too thinking about it - might try it again!

nicola1982_2

My OH's son was a nightmare 2 year old, but he's fantastic with bedtimes now (5). We introduced a very routine evening which consisted of dinner at the table which included conversation, 'quiet time' in which he continue to sit at the table with a book or quiet toy and we washed up, bath-time and drink (hot milky), story in bed, then he was left with the light on in his room and the book. He falls asleep naturally and it feels to him like it's on his terms. We then switch of the light leaving the door open with the landing light on should he wake a bit. Then all lights go off when we go to bed.

Tantrums are part of being that age and I would suggest picking up a toddler book from your local library. Tips I've read are ignoring them (which we used predominantly), distracting with something else or hugging them before they get frustrated. Every toddler is different however so you'll need to trial and error a number of methods.

If he laughs at you when you try and discipline him then you need to think of a new way to communicate his behaviour is wrong. But good behaviour should always be rewarded. It might be worth looking at what circumstances surround the bad behaviour - is he bored or feeling unhappy for some reason? Remember that for a child to respect you, you'll need to respect him too.

rag31

Hello there

I have 4 children aged from 12 down to a just turned 2 year old little boy. I don't know if your baby is 2yrs and 1 week or 2 yrs and 11 months - which would be 2 different situations.

Over the last 12 years I have changed immensely as a parent and would approach things differently from a lot of the posters. I couldn't do controlled crying (I have in the past) and would instead try to change how I feel about it all.

This time passes so so so quickly and before you know it you are waving your 'baby' off to big school and this time has gone. The worse thing is to look back and think you didn't enjoy it. You will never get it back again. If you can chill out, know that at worse it might be another year to 18 months of being a toddler which isn't a lot out of, say, ... 70ish years.

I absolutely love being a mum to my 2 year old, he is sharing our bed still and I have no problem with this. A 4 year old who still shares is uncommon, a 6 year old even more so and a 10 year old unheard of!! I have shared the bed with all mine and they have naturally progressed to their own bed with no tears between 2.5 and 3 years old. (a new character quilt and poster normally helps! ) I never have to put up with a crying wakeful baby and get lots of sleep because he is where he feels happiest - next to me.

There are no battles or tantrums or anything. I am with him all the time and he is a confident and very content little boy. I spend lots of time with him and give him lots of positive attention - reading books, playing marbles or cars, playing with a ball. This has a knock on effect that it buys me time when he is content playing on his own, looks at a book alone or watches a bit of telly while I tidy up/cook etc because he is not always fighting for a bit of attention.

I would never in a million years consider him as naughty and amazed when people refer to their little ones like this! Just thinking through any 'demanding' behaviour normally solves this one. Whining is just a cry for attention normally and half an hour reading and playing with them is all they need. Being very clingy often is a sign that they are about to get ill in my experience, or that they are feeling unsure and need the reassurance of their mum.

Babies and children always act differently at home because they know that they are loved and can do that safely without anything bad happening. You are the person they can push the boundaries with! It means you are doing a good job and they feel safe and loved, so you should be proud.

A brilliant, wonderful book that I would recommend is 'how to talk so your kids will listen, and listen so your kids will talk' and is all about being positive with them.

I hope this post helps in some way - the crucial thing for me has been knowing how fast these early years go and before you know it you are wishing you could cuddle that wonderful, funny little toddler one more time.

Beck

patchwork_cat

RAg31 - you sound like you are very happy and in control and I applaud you, but your way of parenting is not for everyone you must realise. We are all different and that is what makes the world go round - I would love to be laid back and earth mother like you, but unfortunatley couldn't be no matter how hard i tried. Maybe the OP couldn't either. I do second the 'it passes quickly' sentiment and when mine were babies knew a rhyme that said quiet down cobwebs don't say a word I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep - it still brings a tear to my eye.

The OP, as someone else said, wants her child to go to bed - so many parents just let their children stay up to all hours which can't be a good thing - so although the title of the post is emotive the actual problem is one of a caring mum.

deedeeliz

JP I work at the JSCSC and often see people asking for or offering babysitting services on the intranet and sales and wants boards

In fact if I had a car I'd quite like to earn some money by babysitting everynow and then.

It may be worth posting a message in the advertising section wherever you're based, amongst all the regular house clearances and multimedia sales going on!

Good luck with him