i swear i could kill my 2year old.

jo03

You are in the raf do they still not have family support people there to help you.Is there maybe a babysitting circle in one of the tots clubs you go to you might not be aware of it so ask someone you know.
If you are able use the times he is not with you for me time or us time until you get on an even keel again.
I know how lack of sleep can wear you down my lovely daughter is 11 now and our second child we used to say if she had been first we wouldnt have had another.We took advice from our health visitor in the end my hubby booked a week of to be supportive and we got through it by leaving her to cry it out as we were recommended.It was hard but after 4 nights we didnt have to go in anymore.Maybe there is a surestart initiative near you they are really good for support too.

dipsy

I feel for you, been there, got T shirt it does get better but only if you are tough.. few sleepless nights vs many sleepless nights...

is your husband away on detachment or is it just normal lack of sleep?

get tough and ask your husband maybe to take 2 weeks comp leave and get it sorted.. you sleep one shift him the other..you need to break the cycle, otherwise like me at 10 you will still find a "stranger" in your bed...

Merlot

dipsy wrote: »

get tough and ask your husband maybe to take 2 weeks comp leave and get it sorted.. you sleep one shift him the other..you need to break the cycle, otherwise like me at 10 you will still find a "stranger" in your bed...

I did the control crying and it worked until the age of 6, since then every night without fail my son has come into my bed, he is 9 now and if I say no, I often find him under my bed in a morning sleeping on the floor with no duvet. I have tried just about everything I can think of, rewards, removing PS2 etc. My daughter was the same, but at the age of 10 she now sleeps on her own, so their is hope.

love2save

I tried everything with my daughter to get her to sleep. Controlled crying never worked for us...she could go on screaming for hours and never broke down after months of trying. She always went to bed fine but woke up at 1 am for the night....she just didn't need any more sleep and didn't want to get into bed with us. She was up for the day then. I had her when I was 38 so was exhausted. My husband never got up with her in the night at all. Infact we nearly divorced over it....sleep deprivation is the worst form of torture. His family didn't understand how bad things were either which didn't help. Finally for no reason whatsoever at age 4 she slept till 5.30 and has been ok since.

This is just a temporary glitch for you in the grand scheme of things. Take each day one at a time...and know your 2 year old is behaving normally...just testing you. Try the controlled crying at night as it usually works...and also always reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. Things will get better

anonymousie

THis is obviously driving you nuts (()) Sleep deprivation is a particularly severe form of torture.

I agree totally with the above posters- it is a phase and he is probably a totally normal 2yr old but this is ruining your relationship with your lovely lad buy the look of it.

Get help and support- child centres are good, but HV or GP support would be helpful as well. Don't expect medication of a cure. a behaviour strategy of some sort needs to be in place that you can live with an apply consistantly. Ultimately the HV may be able to get him an early nursery place or a few hours at a childminder to allow you a bit of sleep catch up time too.

Jammygal

I am also a mother of two (one of which is boy of a similar age).
The main thing I would stress is that consistency is vital. Your must know the rules and what is and is not tolerated in your household (as must oh!)
I have reward charts in my house to celebrate good behaviour (these are not boring meaningless charts they are things that inspire the kids like snowman, Christmas trees, castles, trains etc.....I draw them and number different sections 1-10 for them to colour when they have been good. Then when they have coloured ten sections they get a prize that they can choose eg a magazine, fruit, chocolate, books, stickers, sweets etc
I then have a time out step where the kids go if they are naughty. They are never put straight on this, they are warned first and told if they do that again they will go on the step! The two yr old goes on for just two mins but must stay there for the duration! I also close the door behind me when he is sat there (or the crying drives you crazy)! I find Supernanny's philosophies do seem to work as somebody else has mentioned! So may be worth a book investment!
I also do think little boys are far more physical than girls and need to expend energy.....take him out in the fresh air .....even if just for a half hour and let him run and run...
I find with my little lad that the more tired he gets the more over tired he becomes and the harder he is to settle...(like when they are babies). Could it be the opposite and that your little fella is overtired???
It does sound like he is a real handful so really hope you can get some sleep soon ....... and get some help with childcare if necessary just so you can go to bed or just have some time for yourself....Good luck and chin up......he will hopefully grow out of it and it might be he is coming to the end of a phase in his development....sometimes frustration leads to this sort of behaviour.....how's his speech .....could this be why he is frustrated because he can't express himself as well as he would like???
Best of luck
Jammy x

Alias_Omega

our 4 year old has been going to bed from 8pm, to 10pm to midnight over christmas.

So much to do, and people to see that when she does go to bed, we dont see her till 10am - 11am the next day..

Has the 2 year old got a tv in his room..

"if you dont sleep in your own bed, im taking this tv out..."


after 12months, we only recently put the spare tv back in the little ones room as we dont want her in ours watching tv when we have the baby now.

morganb

Does he have a nightlight in his bedroom? Our DS2 was a nightmare for about a week until we worked out that he didn't like the darkness of his bedroom. Since then, he will still wake up, wander into our bedroom, but we just tell him we love him and send him back to bed. I think sometimes children just need reassurance that they're not on their own at night.
Also - the naughty step I have found to be very useful; warning to stop naughty behaviour and explain why the behaviour is not nice; then a warning that I will count to five and he will go on the naughty step if he hasn't stopped by the count of five; more often than not DS2 will count up to five with me, stop the behaviour and then say sorry.
I don't mean to make it sound 'easy', it's taken a lot of hard work and CONSISTENCY to get to this stage. But above all, try to find something that you and DS enjoy to do every day ... go for a swim, make gingerbread men, etc., so that you are having a joyful and enjoyable experience and give him lots and lots of praise and cuddles when you are doing this, this will then spill over into other times. Good luck and thinking of you.

SammyD_2

jpwhittle wrote: »

i know the title sounds drastic but i really dont know what i did to deserve such a naughty child. im fed up of never getting anywere with him. we try and disciplin him and it results in him laughing at us. he refuses to sleep in his own bed. he was crying untill 2 this morning as i wouldnt let him in our bed. me and husband have no life because of him.
just ended up shouting again and undoing last nughts work then tapped his legs for constantantly getting up and screaming. then i feel guilty. but he wont learn. we had this when he was born as hes always been demanding but we sorted it but now hes on with a vengence.
hes really starting to get to me. i dont know how much more i can take what can i do iv checked everything else is ok

I know this reply will make me unpopular - but for God's sake, he is two!!!! What do you mean you have no life because of him! He is your child. What sort of life do you want? One that has a fantasy child which pops up happy and smiling at convenient hours?

And you say "we had this when he was born as he has always been demanding..." exactly what is a baby if not demanding? What did you expect.

Please go and speak to someone about getting some parenting classes, speak to your health visitor perhaps? Your post really really concerns me as your expectations appear to be far from realistic and the reference to tapping him on the legs really worries me. Perhaps he is just a scared little boy who wants to cuddle up with his mummy in the night. Try it - you might actually enjoy it...

richardw

jpwhittle wrote: »

me and husband have no life because of him.

You have a family life don't you?

Speak to the health visitor for some practical help or others may have tips for him to stay in his room.