YNAB robber needs help to execute the plan

Wanna_Bee_Free

While tidying for the viewing yesterday I cut my finger putting the rubbish into the bin. Got a plaster on it at the fourth attempt, finished cleaning and made a hospital trip get it cleaned properly. Bonus tetanus jab. After I hurt my toe a couple of weeks ago it's safe to say I'm tired, stressed and need to stop doing stupid things and be more careful. I feel like I have to rush a lot.

I feel like my father's social worker is saying no to everything and her email yesterday also said he lacks mental capacity. She sent an amail with 6 attachments so I need to work through those tomorrow. She is on holiday now anyway. I am getting a GP appointment for his LPA instead. I also took a massive leap and ordered my father a pair of second hand hearing aids which might save him a fortune if they work. 30 day returns.

Another house is coming onto the market in our little street at a lower price.

The bright spot yesterday is someone contacted me about a job. Also I enjoyed the pub quiz even though there were only 3 teams and we didn't win. I got an answer nobody else knew. :)

Today is MDT for Little Sis this morning.

elsien

That is a lot going on all at once, isn’t it? Good that you took time for yourself as well - that is the most important thing.

I do like a good quiz, although my knowledge is very niche and ask me anything about sports or music and I just sit and look baffled.

With my professional head on, you dad lacks capacity around what exactly , because capacity is time and decision specific.

Just to put on your radar that a GP may not know what the relevant information is that a person has to understand to make a power of attorney. This may be one to take to a solicitor, explain that your dad has some issues with understanding because they should be able to assess that themselves as part of their professional role, or they could ask that the social worker supports. I have done that with someone in a care home who lacked capacity around where she lived but could make a power of attorney - capacity assessed during the visit with the social worker and the solicitor.

In the meantime, here’s what he does need to know, so you can talk to him about it yourself if you want to.


https://www.simplysocialwork.co.uk/blog/what-is-the-mental-capacity-assessment-for-lasting-power-of-attorney

With regards to little sis, because hospitals are not very good at explaining it, are you clear about what your role is? I presume you are referring to Nearest Relative which is a very specific thing under the Mental Health Act and confer no power at all outside of it.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Hi Elsien,

My father is nearest relative so I am just a concerned sister with no role but her consultant and team are including me in her meetings, and my father isn't very mobile so it's easier for me to make it. I kind of assumed my purpose was to advocate for her best interests. A big part of why I am making the effort to go is to understand first hand what the professionals are saying as in the past she has lied and omitted things. Plus she asked me to join her. The big risk seems to be that after she comes home she stops taking the pills so they are trying to involve her and if she prefers to try another drug next week they said she can.

Thanks for the LPA info I have a lot to read this afternoon!

elsien

If your dad has the capacity and wants to, and you want to take on the role he can delegate the NR to you. It just needs a letter signed by both of you. There is a legal obligation to consult with the NR for decision so it is an important safeguard.

Regardless of that it’s good that they are involving you in the discussions if your sister is happy with that. If you’re not sure about any mental health act stuff happy to help with that as well. Message me if you prefer.

Blackcats

isn't it lovely how folks help and support each other on this site.

Wanna_Bee_Free

It is absolutely wonderful of everyone to have been so supportive and helpful - @elsien @Blackcats @PennysIntoPounds in particular I am really greatful for all your helpful and sensible input on my thread at such a challenging time for me. I am truly grateful and it has made a huge difference.

I have had some news on the job front and have a first stage interview tomorrow morning. - Woot but eek! I may have to read the reams of medical stuff on Saturday instead of this afternoon.

Blackcats

ooo that's exciting to have an interview!
I suggest you prep some answers to likely questions or to be able to flex to suit questions

tell us about yourself? This is your free ticket to be able to chose exactly what you want them to know. Highlight your experience, knowledge and skills that match the job description.

Why do you want this job? Because you are a great fit for the role for x, y, z reason

Try to think of your matches for the key components of the job description

before you start, breathe in for 3, hold for 5 and out for 7 a couple of times to calm and pause for a sip of water if you want a moment to dpframe your answer

I'm sure you will be brilliant!

Wanna_Bee_Free

Thanks for the tips Blackcats, Ihad answers and wasn't very nervous. I thought the interview went well but the next day I found out they chose other candidates for the next stage. I was very low that day. Trying to pretend I've bounced back.

My beloved inflateable not at all MSE hot tub came out of the shed in a rush due to the hosepipe ban coming in. It is mouldy even though we dried it off really carefully. Harumph We had a second viewing on the house yesterday. I thought it went well but who knows

Little Sis was changed to different meds which take a couple of weeks to kick.in She seems worse last week to me They have a mental health debt specialist who will start helping her next week I feel like that might be a weight off me and relax but I am being let down by people so much I am just waiting for the piano to fall on my head

My father committed to the live-in care option Monday morning to start a week later but they haven't found him anyone yet. I love how you can't get hold of them when you need something but the rehab centre and social worker now call me frequently to chase. I find them both really stressful and difficult to understand on the phone. OH and I are going to spend today cleaning their house in preparation anyway. Just want I want after all the cleaning for the second viewing. Plus ferrying Little Sis to see our father.

He found out there is a charge for each LPA and doesn't want to go ahead any more. The bill for live in care is really stressing him out. He and my sister have both got more money as a result of my help and that was as a result of people on here. I wish he would just have sorted this two years ago when I asked him to..

in better news the footwear audiolgy department were going to charge £1k to set his second hand bought off bay of e hearing aids up but the should have gone to people claim it will be free so I've booked him in there. Tryng not to believe them so I won't feel betrayed.

Talking therapes came back with an offer for me of 6 weeks with one hour sessions starting Tuesday. I am secretly fearing they are going to section me too when they meet me. I feel so much lower now than when I asked for the help on 20th June. I hope it helps but trying not to pin anything on it.

I have been earning on prolific. Not quite enough to have a zero cc bill but close. £105.28 in the red on YNAB.

Rhyddid2026

I can pretty much guarantee they aren't going to section you. You've got so much going on it's completely understandable how you're feeling. I do hope the sessions help a little.

elsien

Explain to your dad that if he doesn’t do the LPA then further down the line it will have to be a deputyship which will cost him even more. Because as well as the initial set up which is more than an LPA, deputyship has an annual fee to pay as well.

Although he’s probably very scared by all the big changes that happening to him and around him and just hanging on to what little control he has left. Which is completely understandable, although very frustrating for you.

If you are genuinely concerned about being sectioned, then don’t be. Persuaded my brother to get some help when he was so low he was feeling suicidal, but he didn’t have a plan as such. He wasn’t seriously intending to hurt himself so even assessing him for a section wasn’t on the professionals radar. He wasn’t one for talking therapy, still working on getting him to consider antidepressants but he did find the psychology sessions for anxiety particularly helpful.

It’s not surprising that you are feeling low with everything that’s happening. On the other side of the picture, and from someone who only knows you from on here I just think you are doing remarkably well at holding it all together, so don’t knock yourself for the stress of it all getting to you. You are doing amazingly, even if it doesn’t feel like it.