YNAB robber needs help to execute the plan

PennysIntoPounds

Oh gosh that's a lot, sending sympathy and wine. What would happen hypothetically if you told mental health team you are not able to be her responsible adult?

Wanna_Bee_Free

That's a really good question PiP, I will try and find out. In the end the mental health person managed to get the rehab centre staff to help them speak to my father so while they spoke to me first they covered things with him too. They are apparently all doing useful stuff for both my family members with no need for me to be there. I am trying to tell myself the professionals have stuff covered and to chill but it's not really happening.

Little Sis is sectioned again. I have cancelled plans to hare around to them both tomorrow as there is now a red health alert for tomorrow and I could use a rest day I think.

Spent no money today although OH bought us both a drink so collectively it wasn't a no-spend day.

I got on the wrong train at London Bridge and went to Dartford instead of Deptford. An hour and a half later I was back to where I started.

PennysIntoPounds

It is absolutely fine to leave the professionals to it for now. And absolutely fine to have a rest day especially during silly weather.

Oh dear about the trains! Easy mistake when you're knackered. It was very mse of you to go back, I probably would have been so fed up that I'd just book an airbandb and have some Kent time for a few days 😂

Wanna_Bee_Free

I was rather fed up PiP! Especially as I hadn't taken my book to read as it was only supposed to be a short journey.

Well all things MSE are very much on my mind today. I've done a couple of prolific surveys and one of them was a prescreen for later in the week so more on the way!

I have a mahoosive cc bill to pay £1090.31 when OH finally has his income and gives me some money for the first time since March. This has been all my holiday spending, travel to family and any fun stuff too. If I pay £855 by 2nd July it will be interest free, otherwise I will pay interest of £30.25 for the first time since I became debt free. Uurgh. Then the remaining £235.31 by 1st August. I would like to squirrel away another £250 towards a future holiday and I also want to have a buffer for emergencies Target of £250 initially but £1k in time. It has all been totally out of my control since we had no household income but I find it hard not to spend money even when I don't have it. The other problem is I feel the need to keep up with OH and do what he wants to do as he gives me the money in the first place. I'd like more alcohol free (AF) days for myself as money-saving, healthy and I spend less when I'm out if I don't drink. I have been drinking a lot more over the last 4 years since I stopped working and started trying to help my father and sister after my mother died suddenly.

In the short-term here are the things I can do:

• use the clearer thinking I have now it's cooler to try and think of ways to avoid spending money, shop from home etc for anything that crops up
• Meal plan for next week
• take water, snacks and lunch when I visit family in the hospital and rehab centre
• delete my payment details from tempting websites so that I buy valuable thinking time
• keep my purse tightly closed
• ask my father for £87.40 to cover my costs of visiting last week. Plus OH paid £4 parking and more petrol yesterday too. Plus new Lebara mobile SIM-only bill £1.70 a month for the first 9 months (such a bargain!) https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cheap-mobile-finder/sim-only/ plus £45.99 for new phone handset as need it asap. Bought new as father needs big buttons so went for a Doro one.

I need to decide if it will motivate me more and be more sensible to rebuild the travel pot, an emergency fund or both in parallel with any free money I can get from surveys etc. I should have £175 coming which I had originally earmarked for the start of an emergency fund. OH thinks we should cancel our August festival weekend as it is always expensive and he is not very impressed with the lineup. I am depressed by the thought of nothing to look forward to but I get what he means as it is expensive, especially the hotel which is sold out that weekend every year so at full rack rate. The tickets I bought were £185.50 so if we do cancel I should be able to resell them and get that back. If I do I think that should go into my travel pot. Or put it by and just get the tickets for 2027 instead? Or maybe it's simpler to do one pot and then the other… Anyway at least it's cool enough that I have felt more motivated about this money stuff.

PennysIntoPounds

Is there a cheaper thing you could book once you've got your money back so you still have something to look forward to?

Wanna_Bee_Free

That's a good idea PiP, thank you.

OH Invoice got paid so £855 to cc. I won't be paying them any interest - yippee! YNAB net worth -£32.77 in the red at the start of a new month. Eek. So if my father pays me back I can get that positive again. Age of money 13 days. This ia a bit like my first month on here with scorched earth and an unsuccessful plan to spend £10 last August. All very understandable given our situation but hey ho

Felt very flat yesterday but trying to just keep plodding on. Lots of laundry and ironing for family Some of my father's clothes are in tatters. All his shorts have frayed edges. He hates throwing anything away and my mother used to stop him looking a mess. I have started loking at Vinted but will get his permission for the spend first.

I plan to leave my purse at home today to avoid the risk of spending. A library book has arrived for me from another branch so more free entertainment. :)

peb

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82048024#Comment_82048024

This. Agree with PIP

peb

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82052082#Comment_82052082

And again. This. I always like something to look forward to - even if it's an day trip to the coast!

peb

Caught up. I was not impressed people were contacting you on holiday regarding your family issues. I

really think something, however small, in the diary to look forward to helps.

With my father i discovered two things - if I suggest he needs something (shirts are tatty, shoes are falling apart, socks have holes, he needs a hait cut) he says he/those are fine. If one of my friends/his cleaner/my sister (who he sees once a month rather than 2/3 times a week) suggests something he will do it. Also if I buy him something "as it was on special offer" or "I was putting an order in" or "sainsbury have 25 per cent off" he will accept it. Drives me mad but he his great most the time . Don't know iv there's any third party who can do the same for you?

Sending sympathy. So hard for you to have two family members with different needs so depending on you physically, emotionally and mentally

Wanna_Bee_Free

Hi Peb ( and everyone else on here), Thanks for reading all my waffle on here. I was never good at KISS. It makes a difference to have sensible people on here posting - thanks for echoing PiPs advice. I know exactly what you mean about them listening to other people more.This last two weeks there are certain things I've just done without asking as I deem it necessary. Haircut booked for Tuesday :) and he's buying himself two new pairs of shorts but so far his tatty underpants are still in use. He does listen to my boyfriend as he sees him once a week and OH doesn't nag him very often at all so listens when he does. Plus his GP who is very sensible but he hasn't seen him very often in the last couple of years as he's been managing really well.

I am really out of my depth on my father's stuff this week. Actually everything else too really but this is the urgent crisis. It looks as if they have decided he can't go home because of his risk of falling or choking and they are also not paying the 12 weeks transition care costs which I thought would be long enough to give Little Sis a good chance of getting home. I have insisted on a meeting with the social worker and current rehab centre staff so we can get clear on everything. If they aren't paying for his care surely it's his right to go home and have the 4 visits a day instead. Sticking points are that Little Sis isn't there overnight at the moment and he got rid of his emergency pendant. I plan to call Age Concern this afternoon. Is there a board for care home stuff? I"ll try and have a look later but I'm feeling really teary today.

I am delighted to say my emergency fund is now a healthier £200 thanks to nationwide switching bonus and oyster refund from TFL. My holiday pot is at £24.66 from interest and surveys.