YNAB robber needs help to execute the plan

PennysIntoPounds

That's such a hard situation, why does everything always have to be so complicated?!

Hope you're feeling a bit better and that clarity is forthcoming

Great news on the EF boost

peb

Suddenly had a thought- if I remember you are not working atm? Do you get carers allowance? Im sure you put the necessary hours in.

peb

AAnd Possibly the family board for your questions re care. There's a couple of knowledgeable people like @elsien though I don't know if that is her area of expertise.

My think with the pendant (unless they have changed) is that they still result in you being called......

elsien

I haven’t been following this thread but will help if I can. I can come back to it later this evening when I’ve got more time to read and give sensible answers if that’s any help?
in the meantime, the questions to ask are:

Is your father considered to have capacity around his care and Support needs, and his discharge destination?. These are often conflated, but are not quite the same thing. So is the decision he can’t go home, a best interests one or not. If it isn’t then it’s up to him where he goes although you might have an argument about support. He can of course refuse to leave Hospital to go to a care home if he is able to withstand the sort of pressure that they may put it on which can be plonking someone in a wheelchair and moving them without discussion. Or he could just upsticks and leave, although I’m not suggesting that would be a particularly sensible thing to do in the circumstances particularly if there is a real choking risk

if it is best interests then any LPA should be involved and if there’s no LPA a family member has to be consulted as part of any decision-making process.

Where are the assessments that show he’s not safe to return home? Who has completed them and where is the care act assessment? They can’t say his needs can’t be met at home if they haven’t carried out all the proper assessments.

hope that is of help as a starting point.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Hi Elsien, thanks for that very useful starting point. He definitely has capacity except they are doubting he has the ability to judge the risk of things correctly. They asked about how likely he was to fall but he seemed to underestimate how bad he is.Until now my sister has been his carer but she isn't able to.Plus he's been in hospital for nearly 12 weeks so carer's allowance is supposed to stop then I think.

I was glad of my previous career today. It ended up with me and my father in a meeting with his social worker, nursing, occupational therapy and physio. I think his preferences were clearly communicated and I/him understood their concerns in turn. It was a 90 minute marathon. Issues are his risk of falling and continence problems. They are taking his preference for home seriously. They offered a free three month pendant. I offered to stay 24 x 7 for up to 2 weeks to help him settle in at home and make sure he has someone with him to call for help. They are going to get clearer about his overnight needs and see if he needs someone to help him at night. They seem to be very pessimistic on the physio side about him improving. Because he is paying for whatever happens himself they are only advising him. They asked if he had an LPA (I discussed but he declined earlier in the year) and then theypointed out it meant the social worker would be making decisions for him instead of his daughters he's asked me to help him get it sorted. So that's good news. I think they are trying to decide if he needs a referral to the continence services or not. They are refusing transitional care because he paid for his own care in 2022. It doesn't seem to matter he stopped his carers in Feb 2025 and was doing so well.

My next update from them is Friday. They are at least giving him/me time to get clearer on everything. They are probably going to let me take him to see Little Sis on Wednesday as they haven't seen each other since she went into hospital. 

elsien

i’m glad it went reasonably okay even if it was a bit of a marathon.

Look at both health and welfare and financial power of attorney - it might be an idea to see if your dad will agree to the finances one being set up to use with his consent while he has capacity. That would allow you or your sister to manage bills, et cetera for him if he was physically unable to do it himself for any reason. He may need reassuring that at that point you cannot do anything without his permission. It’s what I’ve done for my brother who had a serious illness, but I’ve never had to use it yet - it’s there and registered with his bank just in case. I have had to promise not to look at his online banking unless he asks me to.

I have a couple of other thoughts for you:

If there are concerns about falls at home, have they considered doing a home OT assessment to see if there’s any other equipment that might help other than the fall monitor?

it’s also possible that your dad may be minimising the risk because he may think if he acknowledges it that might steer the professionals more towards a care home. So if you can convince him that being realistic is likely to get him further that would help.

Push for referral for the continence assessment because without that how do they know what his needs are? If they assess and rule him out, that’s better than not assessing and missing something. You can ask the GP to refer once he’s home, but that will just take longer.

Also ask about a health re-enablement short-term package of care as that is not means tested and previous support he has paid for should not come into it. If that’s not being considered then ask them to explain very clearly why not so if you disagree, you know what to challenge. My best guess is because they think his needs are primarily social care rather than health/nursing needs.

Have you checked about local authority support at home and whether he is now within the threshold for this to be funded with him making a contribution? There are some good resources on the age UK website if you are unsure.
Although thinking about it, what he’s paid for himself before is irrelevant because any support should be based on his financial situation now so that might be something else you want to get clarity on.
He is entitled to request a care act assessment if he wants one regardless of funding, although at the end they may still just signpost if it’s clear he does not have eligible needs or will be paying his own way. The whole point is to make sure the assessment is done before money comes into it so that the assessment is not driven by finances, but is the other way round.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Hi Elsien,

Thanks, that's all really helpful.