YNAB robber needs help to execute the plan

Wanna_Bee_Free

OH is only getting an extension to the end of the month. It appears his boss was wrong about it all going through ok on Monday. Lots of family uncertainty. The carer is waking up too often so if that doesn't change my father may need to go into a care home. Little Sis seems to be on the verge of being discharged home with a community team follow up a month later. I have been clear about my concerns but they believe she's medically stable. She won't be able to drive for at least 3 months and will need to deal with selling their house. She will need/expect/hope for help from me.

My job hunting hasn't resulted in much over the last few months but I plan to ramp up again in September. I've had a video interview and a couple of phone interviews in 6 months. I haven't even had a rejection email for every job I've applied for.

We have no offers on our house in London. As far as I know neither have the other two houses on our little street. We have another viewing tomorrow.

Given everything I almost wish we had cancelled our big festival weekend over the bank holiday but at least that's something to look forward to. And it marks the start of OH not working again. He's been put forward for a better paying contract yesterday so maybe it won't be for long.

I managed a no spend day yesterday and the day before. I also had some meal planning ideas, got clearer on what my diary looks like and now need to step back from family a bit at least to recover from the first half of the year. I've had Little Sis in hospital since 13th Feb with a few A&E trips before that and my father in from April 20th until last week so this year has been far too medical for my liking!

Blackcats

the festival weekend is something to look forward to and to create great memories to sustain you long after you get home.

Fingers crossed for the next contract for OH.

I'm trying to follow the advice from the woman's hour programme on caring - set boundaries and I've added my own which is accept responsibility only for what I am responsible for. I am responsible for booking dad's carers but I am not responsible if the carer arrives at 12.04 instead of 12.00 🤦‍♀️. I am responsible for ordering all dad's food but I am not responsible for the cucumber having no flavour. It's been a game changer for me over the last couple of weeks.

PennysIntoPounds

That sounds a tough lot of things to worry about. Why is the carer waking up so often? Could a different carer be more suitable?

elsien

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82103331#Comment_82103331

presumably because dad is awake and wanting something. A change of carer is unlikely to make a difference to that.

PennysIntoPounds

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82103351#Comment_82103351

'Too often' suggested to me that maybe a night carer who expects to be woken would be helpful, when I did night shifts in NHS you were allowed to sleep but you cat-napped and were ready to respond if needed. I appreciate wards are different to homes but perhaps someone who comes from more of that sort of professional background would be worth asking after.

It's been less than two weeks so hopefully they'll adjust to each other, and if not, presumably one must exist who doesn't need collecting from an airport and requiring lots of help and knowledge from our already knackered W_B_F!

elsien

A night carer expecting to be woken though would presumably be a second person to allow the live-in carer to sleep. Which is an additional cost.

You can’t expect someone to be on shift all day and then have quite disturbed nights every night as well. I have a friend who is a live-in carer and she doesn’t mind the odd night of being woken but not several times a night every night - that’s just not doable.

PennysIntoPounds

I merely suggested that a night carer might be a useful thing to look into if this carer has too much on their plate. I believe the referral came via GP so maybe someone coming in a few times a day and someone to stay over would be a possibility social care/WBF Dad budget-wise.

Catscoffeecake

Did the carer say what it is your dad needs or wants when he wakes in the night?

Is he just struggling to sleep?

Wanna_Bee_Free

We are giving them both a bit longer to adjust but if the disrupted sleep for the carer continues then a second carer is needed. At which point he wiill very quickly need a care home as double the carers fees kills his savings pretty quickly in a month or so. The carer is willing and helpful and I totally understand her worrying if he is noisy at night. it used to be tricky for me even when he was healthier. I offered to drive her fron the airport as Camden is fairly close to Luton snd it is a lot of trains etc via Central London. We are right on the efge of the line with safety versus his preference to stay at home. The care agency manager is meeting us half way but without an LPA yet I am just a concerned relative. My friend was ill last Monday so couldn't travel to do the LPA. To add to the fun my father fell today as his bp was low. Probably heat related. I am trying not to panic and parachute in. OH and I are due there Sunday as fencing guy cancelled. House Viewing tomorrow so it's cleaning in the morning.

Sleep well everyone.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Well yesterday was certainly eventful.

Good news is my father and his carer seem to be rubbing along well together and he hasn't had any more falls.

OH found out he didn't get the role on more money and a shorter journey so he is feeling mis today.

Little Sis is on the cusp of being taken off section and discharged home next Wednesday. This would be better news if she hadn't been ignored for the last week after she has been feeling much worse since 11/8. Also they brought forward the time of the MDT (multi-disciplinary team) meeting yesterday without telling her or anyone else so by the time my father and I got there it had all happened already. They have reduced one of her drugs and are about to reduce another one which seems to be crazy to then send her home and is an exact repeat of April when they stopped her meds and sent her home with no support. We then had multiple A&E visits, GP visits and calls to the community and crisis team all of which were useless. Next time I am just driving to reception at the psychiatric hospital and waiting there until someone from her ward sees us.

I have said my piece yesterday and a week ago. I am so exhausted I haven't got any more fight in me any more. I guess that's why they are doing this again. A cynical part of me feels they are reducing her drugs and then sending her home so they don't have to deal with it when she deteriorates so they can get some easier patients in instead. They wouldn't do that would they? I'm probably just tired and paranoid. So I'm dreading my one thing I've been looking forward to is now going to be ruined over the bank holiday by worry and calls. I think I will tell little sis, father, carer that I am not available that weekend and then block all their phone numbers or leave my phone turned off while I am away. I can contact the pendant people to remove us for the long weekend too. The only thing I need to manage then is my feelings of guilt and worry about them. But I can't do much to help from a field watching the bands anyway.

I slept until 1pm today so I was a lot more exhausted than I realised. I have this afternoon to myself, OH is WFH tomorrow and then we have the fence guys at the crack of dawn on Saturday and Sunday.

In MSE news I bought 3 Vinted Swimsuits and the first one has arrived and fits ok, a bit hello boys on the boobs as the front is low but fine for the hot tub at home. In less MSE news I bought rain ponchos for the festival as they will be a lot more expensive at the event if we need them and some of the shiny 4 colour bic pens to cheer myself up after I lost my other one.

Another good thing is Little Sis and I made a start on sorting and shredding some of her old paperwork which will be a help when she puts her house on the market and downsizes. I have offered one of her extra things on trash nothing and was amazed that someone wants it and is collecting this evening. I always feel good when I can donate something of use rather than just put it in landfill.