YNAB robber needs help to execute the plan

elsien

Absolutely have a weekend with no calls - you are use to anyone if you are exhausted and stressed. And in a. real emergency, the first port of call is always going to be the emergency services anyway.

Changing the times of meetings in Hospital is unfortunately standard but very poor practice. Does she have the same concerns that you do because a mental health advocate could help her to raise those so it’s not just you fighting?

I honestly don’t think reducing the medication would be an attempt to get easier patients in, but because there is a bed crisis and people are probably being discharged sooner than they might have been other times. It still needs to be a safe discharge though. Will she have a care coordinator at all? Sadly, there is also a long waiting list for one of those as well at least in my area.

I bought one of those orange ponchos for my walking holiday I look like a walking traffic cone - it’s great. I hope your festival goes well. You’ve definitely earned it.

PennysIntoPounds

That all sounds very stressy and exhausting and worrying. If you 'don't have reception for calls or messages' and everyone is clear that in an emergency they call the emergency numbers, then that is all okay.

Maybe tomorrow you will have a bit more fight in you and can inform the unit that due to location and work you are unable to be your sister's support staff in the way that is needed, and that they need to review their plans

Wanna_Bee_Free

PiP, you are right, the main thing is that I inform people. Noboby can be on call all the time. Elsien thanks for confirming changing the meeting time is standard practice. It would matter a lot less if I lived near. They have put her in a hospital that is at least half an hour away from her home so all the driving makes it hard, even if I wasn't driving 90 - 120 minutes to collect my dad first. My father was a total grown up about it, he made a lot of effort to come this week as he is worred about her too so he could have been a lot more difficult to me about it.

I made it clear on Wednesday that I am physically away the bank holiday. The ward mental health advocate has been trying to help too. Little Sis has had a visit from her social worker today who has confirmed she is allocated back to the same people in the community mental health team as last time. One of them was ill and missed the meeting a month out, the other one did an initial assessment and sent some email attachments last time. Literally the same individuals who let her down in April/May. I guess my plan if she deteriorates like last time is drive to the psychiatric hospital she is currently in and sit in reception with her until they readmit. No point going to her GP or A&E like we did last time. Maybe it will all be fine this time. I wish I believed that. There is no expectation that I am there to support, it's just she isn't capable of doing a lot of things without help and now can't drive for at least 3 months.

I am still feeling very tired and low energy and mood today. I have also spent money I don't have until September. I bought a new to me second hand phone on b@ckmarket as my phone won't update any more as it doesn't have enough memory. When I bought this new old phone on holiday I should have got 128 not 64, I've still got a trade in for it so I've lost £112 - £44 = £68 for being too much of a cheapskate. I also bought our traditional turkey for Christmas. I hate Christmas and it's my father's 92nd birthday that day but I can't not get my Mum's preferred turkey in. That would be too weird. They have a field with musical instruments in and are guarded by llamas. Which still doesn't explain the three figure price tag but there are some things I need to do in my Mum's memory. I can't see how Christmas is going to be any good this year. It will be so good to wake up on boxing day and know it's done with for another year. I have nothing in any savings pots at the moment so will have to find Christmas Cheer of the free and cheap kind this year.

I am almost hoping it rains now so I can wear the ponchos and look like a traffic cone - thanks for the daft image Elsien.

elsien

They won’t readmit if you go and sit in the hospital, if she’s an informal patient. It would have to be via A&E. The mental health hospital I visit has a big sign outside telling people that.

She would need to be reassessed and then if she needed to be back in hospital they would have to find a bed which may or may not be in a different hospital. Going back and sitting in the mental health unit reception is not going to achieve anything.
Just so as you are aware the system doesn’t work like that.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Thanks, so A&E is the only way if she's bad again? I really think she is being despatched home way too soon. I hope I'm wrong. I will go to the meeting on Wednesday if they haven't thrown her out home by then.

elsien

You would start off with the crisis team/GP, but if they are as useless as they were last time then it would have to be A&E if it was an emergency. Clarify that with them when you see them next week, I just know that’s how it works where I am.
In fact, I would probably say how useless the help was last time, although you have probably already done that.

Do they not have a mental health support worker that they could offer on discharge, at least for a bit?

And if she has a social worker what about any needs that she may have under the Care Act? Have they looked at that?

You are right that though sometimes people are sometimes being discharged too soon because the bed is needed for someone more acute. It’s really sad.

PennysIntoPounds

Have a look at this in case there's still a couple of quid you can get for your old phone/s

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mobiles/mobile-recycling/

Ouch to cost of turkey but if it buys not stressing about getting something for the day, and honouring your mum, for the next few months then that's a good spend. Hopefully you can find some Christmas cheer nearer the time, it's only August!

Wanna_Bee_Free

I will ask about the mental health support worker, they also mentioned a PA but that is no longer being discussed. The community team have been joining the weekly MDT meetings remotely and the first meeting they were there but nobody told me and I explained clearly how useless they had been. Thankfully I was factual and not rude! I guess it should be a good sign they are involved weekly, but maybe that is why they didn't have enough time/resources to do anything, Maybe they will be less useless after a readmission. I am definitely not wasting time with the GP next time, he was very clear that he wouldn't chase mental health services up for us and would leave it to us to do.

Thanks PiP, a really good reminder about trade in on the phone. I should get £44 trade in for it once I've changed over to the bigger one so that is pretty good really. I bought it in July for £112 but the latest operating system update from the fruit people is so big it hasn't got enough memory for me to send any emails or get messages so I really should have spent a bit more last month. I am on the oldest small model so after this I'll have to think about a new phone case too. I have never been that fussed about getting the latest model phone, I tend to keep them till they get smashed

Early doors today as two fencing guys are taking out our old broken fence and putting a new one in tomorrow. Expensive but necessary. The last one cost us £500 we didn't have in our first winter here in 1996/97. I remember it so well as we were sharing a bean bag between two of us and we had a video player but no TV as we'd been renting furnished. We were young and very skint and so pleased to be house owners! It's done pretty well for all that time but a new one is needed. It will make more of the garden while it's on the market too as the leaning dangerously look isn't currently a fashionable one!

Wanna_Bee_Free

Well it's been an eventful week. Two Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) forms for my father signed and posted on Monday. That has been on my list for over 3 years now. He did health and finance in the end

Little Sis was discharged after a 2 day home visit. She is unsettled snd pacing at home but is eating, sleeping with sleeping pills and taking her meds without prompting. She is struggling with daily activities like showering, choice of clothes, tying her shoe laces unpropmted and deciding what to do each day.

All the people attended her discharge meeting online. Her Community mental health person is away until mid September. Another person will see her in person on Friday as a result of me explaining how she isn't doing well at home. I tried my best. The effective drug they took her off a couple of weeks ago is apparently very addictive so she has to learn to use other tools than drugs. She's had lots of printed material to take home but nobody seems to be helping her translate that into action. I guess she's on her own again.

My father lost his one remaining hearing aid (hospital lost his other one in May) so I am really hoping the audiologist can fit his new one on Tuesday. We had a few laughs about the things he thought I was saying to him.

I did their food shopping with Little Sis and now plan to take a break ffrom tomorrow until first thing Tuesday.

My YNAB balances are scorched Earth ie nothing saved for anything. I have not been controlling my spending to get through each day for the months of hospital stuff. My father covered my petrol until he came home from hospital but all his savings are now going on his hearing aid and his live-in care costs so I have started paying again. I have bought a new to me phone and a very expensive free range turkey (my late mother's only acceptsble choice ) and 2 coffees and a London pub round on my credit card. £371.48 in total with £44 cashback on old phone to come. I am taking out £100 cash today for drinks and festival food this weekend. I may also need to put petrol back on my card if OH doesn't pay. I already paid for our tickets and coach there and back. And I will be buying our 2027 tickets this weekend too. Oh good grief. OH last day working tomorrow so we are officially a zero income household again. Money from this contract will stretch a while and he has made some good applications this week.

After such a dry summer I am delighted that we had loads of much-needed rain in London last night. Please let it not rain at the festival from 10am until midnight on Saturday. And ideally 5pm until 11pm on Friday too if that's not too greedy to ask as well.

Wanna_Bee_Free

A very wet and muddy weekend. Music great. £100 food and drink budget was almost exactly right. Came home with £8.35. :) Early bird tickets secured for next year but we will find cheaper accommodation.

Two NSDs in September. YNAB changed the way credit cards work which I need to put some timei nto understand. Or better yet get rid of the cc balance. It is all new so needs to be paid start of next month to avoid interest. I have paid 2x£200 into the Nwide regular saver but if needed could get cc balance to zero straight away and lose the 5% savings interest. I plan to pay for September spending off my cc with cash or debit card apart from the hygienist/dentist.

I picked up a few small prolific surveys, September earnings so far £2.80.

Main plan for this month is to spend based on YNAB balances and avoid robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Caring disasters and stressy stuff below.

My father's care company suddenly withdrew his live-in carer in the middle of dinner last night. We knew a change of carer was coming but it was a shock he's been abandoned over the weekend. Little Sis has had a bad week for eating and has contacted crisis team, GP and community mental health team but got no help. Social services getting my father a replacememt carer but had noone available last night. Social worker told me late Friday I needed to go there to provide care this weekend but I told her I'm not available. I had confimation all in place from the care company for weekend on Fri lunchtime, then bam. I have allocated over 20% of my money this month to travel costs to see them and planned out across the month so it will be financially disastrous if I let myself get bounced into running around in a panic again. Plus Little Sis has managed an online food shop in my absence so I need to let them build independence and cope without me.

It's had a huge impact on my health even at a distance. Bad sleep, tummy snakes, digestive issues and my vertigo returned Wednesday. Can't keep trying to help my family if I feel this rough as a result.