Please help me! Nothing to live for

toshkininny

It's good you have got in touch here, you must be feeling better for writing down everything you are feeling. They always say that seeing it in black and white helps - it stops things going round and round in your head.

It's not going to be easy, but as others have said you have started along the right path to try and make things better.

I'm afraid I won't be able to help as much as others can, the only two things I can think of is when the weather starts getting better see if you can do some boots sales too. Also, your son's bus journey - do you know someone who drives their child to school that lives near you? If so, could you suggest paying them (at a cheaper rate than the bus fare) for taking your son to school?

tealady

Hello and welcome. When you have a mo put up your SOA and the clever peeps on here will help you get back on track.

loneranger

You say you feel sick when you think about how you got into this situation - well how you got here doesn't matter any more so forget it,It's one less thing on your mind. So congratulations :beer: for posting on here and taking the first step towards a rosier future - ok the road looks long and rocky but you love your son and you must love yourself enough to do this. See your GP as others have suggested, also if you are due any holiday from work take some now so that you have more time, if your not due any holiday just take a deep breath and resolve to tackle this in a calm manner.Nothing will be acheived by rushing around and panicking.Take the advice already given by others on here.Get all your paperwork together and write out a list of what you owe and who you owe it to - getting things in order will make you in control of things. You can do this - we've all been there and are in varying stages of the process.Everyone will help. Forget eating out or spending to ease stress

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just get addicted to these boards like the rest of us --you won't have time for going out. :rotfl:

Frugaldom

Scarednow77, you just did the bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do in a long time and I would like to congratulate you for having the guts to sign on here and say it how it is from where you are.

I can't offer any professional advice, but I can be one of the many people on here who will support you in getting out of the place you are in right now. If it helps in the least, even if it's just to help find a little smile from deep down somewhere unreachable at the moment, think positively and see that your journey out of this rotten situation isn't by going back the same way you just came First up, see how long your contract has to run on your mobile and cancel it if it's possible. If you need a mobile, try a PAYG (I got one for under a tenner) and then nobody's got your number unless you give them it

Sort out all your outstanding accounts, try the budget sheet, be completely honest with yourself and everyone else and don't ever feel silly or stupid. With all that's going on in your life, you STILL showed up for work! That demonstrates you have the strength of character to deal with almost anything

Chin up, you WILL get out of this mess and your son will be proud of you and that little bit wiser about finances in the long run.

Good luck and keep posting here.

Adrasteia01

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time of things.
You are not the only person to have run up big debts - a lot of people have debts and spend a long time paying them off. It will take time, but you can find a way to manage it and live well besides.

It will be hard when you add them all up, because debts always seem to add up to more than you expect! However, once you've done it and the shock has worn off, you can start being proactive and working out ways to bring them down. Do up a list of all of your debts, the total amount owing, and the interest rates. If you have credit cards, note down how much money you have free on each of the cards. You may be able to transfer balances to decrease the interest you're paying. Optionally, if you ask your banks they might lower your interest rates to help you pay your debts off more quickly.

There are ways to increase your earnings and decrease the amount you spend, whilst still living well. I'd recommend picking up some money saving books off amazon or ebay - admittedly they'll cost money but it may be money well spent. If you focus on saving money and bringing down your debts, focussing on books about the subject, websites and this forum will help you to stay proactive, so you're less likely to spend without control (or so I find, anyway).

If you're not already a member, sign up to websites like pigsback.com, quidco.co.uk and survey sites to make a bit of money towards gift vouchers. It isn't a huge amount, but it all helps, and I find that trying to make the most of the points and vouchers I earn makes me want to be more careful with the rest of my money too.

Ebay is a good way to make money, selling on amazon is another. There is also a site called greenmetropolis for selling and buying books.

Another option if you buy something and regret it later is to take it back and refund it. As long as you have the receipt and the goods are in good condition, then they should let you do that.

There's a wide variety of stuff you can sell on ebay too, including some things people wouldn't think to sell. Clothes, shoes, handbags, purses, books, cds, dvds, paintings, ornaments, and just about everything else that's postable. The ebay site gives a list of everything you can sell. Also, if you have a hobby you could make things to sell, or buy things cheap and resell them for a profit.

Just a few ideas,
tamara

Mozette

Hi, welcome to the board. You'll get loads of help here.

Really sorry to hear how down you are. It really would be best to go and see your Doctor - he/she can't make you take time off or make you take tablets, but they can advise you and let you know what they think is best.

Please don't do anything to harm yourself, for your own sake as well, but especially for your child's sake, believe me there is nothing that would be worth him losing his Mum for.

Believe me, people are what matter; money, or lack of it, can be a hugely stressful thing, but at the end of the day it is only money, and there is always a way round it.

I hope things get better for you soon, everyone on here is really helpful, and will get you through this.

All the best.

Ephemera

nykmedia, couldn't have said it better myself.

Scared, We're all with you - I've been in a similar position as yourself but didn't know this place existed - if I had then I would have had a much easier time sorting it all out.

You've done the right thing, a very brave thing too and all the best getting yourself back on the level.

Will check in from time to time to see how you're doing and if I can offer help, advice or encouragement I will!

(((Hugs))) to you and your son and may 2008 be good to you.

Eph.

theunknownstuntman

Just to say I totally agree with Nykmedia, ScaredNow77. You keep your chin up and be proud of doing a really scary horrible thing, and doing it with dignity. Thats the hard bit done. Honest.

The folk on here are great with helping you sort things out, and will offer plenty of excellent advice, I'll offer you all the support and hugs in the world as and when you need them!

You have so much to live for, and you're among friends (and a new, if slightly insane, family...) on here.

jessbrown100

hi sn77
just a couple of quick tips
1. make sure that before your financial monthy has begun, you've written down a comprehensive budget so you know exactly what needs to go where, including a small 'emergency fund' (if you don't use this then roll it over to next month and increase it this way- if you've not had an emergency for a while then some of it can go towards paying a debt off)
2. switch your bank account to a 'basic' one without a debit card facility. it's amazing how much less 'tat' you buy when you have to hand over cold hard cash for it, myself and the OH now only use cash and have been doing so for three years and it's made a big difference.
Chin up old love, things will get better from now on, honestly- 'it's always darkest before dawn' as they say and you've already made the first (and hardest!) step.

Keeping_Motivated

Welcome:hello:

I hope you are feeling slightly calmer than your original post by just knowing there are people here who can help you start sorting this situation.

If you stick around here and get some control over your finances believe me there is somthing calming about being in control again.

You have already been given great advice so far so I don't think there is much I can add at this stage except regarding going seeing the doctor. You say you are scared of being given tablets but if you broke your leg you would have plaster on until it healed, well that is how I see anti-depressants as a temporary plaster until you are fixed again, no point hobbling along.

Good luck and please keep posting we will all try and help along the way.