Please help me! Nothing to live for

2005CLAIRE

This is definitely the best place you could have asked for support on - there are a lot of very friendly, clever, compassionate people on this site.


Try to follow their advice and take comfort in the support.

I had a problem a few months ago and signed in under a pseudonym - the support and advice I received carried me through.

You WILL get through this. ((((Cyber hugs)))).

nicola1982_2

Firstly you have a son to live for. Kids are the greatest gift and remember they don't 'need' half the things we think they do. Food, water and love are essential - the rest isn't.

Monthly income
Wages: £1,156.00
Child benefit: £56.00 - CB should be circa £78 now as it's gone up
Child tax credits: £120.00
CSA Payments? These should be claimed if you and OH are splitting

Total IN: £ 1,332.00

Monthly outgoings
Fixed rate mortgage: £352.50 (this is half the full amount, husband pays other half) - If you and OH are splitting then I suggest selling the house and renting. Use any profit to repay as much debt as possible.
Barclays personal loan: £221.00
Welcome Finance secured loan: £209.00
Credit cards: £50.00 (minimum repayments - £25 x 2)
Council tax: £59.00
Water rates: £35.00 (my quarterly bill is about £95)
Gas / electric: Not sure – need to refer to previous bill
TV licence: £12.00
Mobile phone: £20 PAYG (£10 me, £10 son)
Home phone/TV/internet package: £60 (‘3 for £30’, plus 800 minutes) - I would get rid of the minutes and possible the TV too
Pet insurance: £7.00
Pet food: £20.00 - Downshift this
Groceries: £200.00 approx - You can cut this to around £100 PCM with a bit of work. Just do it gradually and check out the OS board for advice
Bus (son - school): £66.00 - Can you get help from the government with this?
Film rental: £3.50 - Get rid
Magazines/newspapers: £10.00 - Use BBC news/handbag.com
Cost of birthdays: £10.00 - Try and get gifts in sales etc
Total OUT: £ 1,452.17

MissEyre

I hate the fact that money can upset someone as much as it has upset you-at the end of the day, you and your family come first. You are in the right place, this can be sorted out and you have already taken got the first bit out of the way by posting here :T

And I don't think anyone here could ignore a post from someone who needed help-its just not how it works round here

Welcome!

chocaholic110

Welcome! You've taken the right first step by posting here as you'll get so much support you would not believe. I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given but just wanted to day that a lot of us start our debt journeys feeling as panicked as you are but can start to put things right through small steps that soon mount up to be big steps.

Keep posting and you'll get all the advice in the world. Take care! (And your son sounds worth more than any money!)

esthomizzy

Big hugs XXX I know it must be awful for you right now but there are loads of people on here who can tell you that it will get better. If your ex has actually left completely then maybe until you decide what to do about the house etc you could rent out a spare room to a lodger (if you have a spare room). This might bridge the gap between your incomings and outgoings until you can make a longer term plan. If you want to do this then I suggest making some posters with a nice picture of the room on and putting them up in whatever hospitals/universities/other big employers you have nearby. I work at a uni and when a boyfriend and I split in early 2007 I was surprised to find I could rent out my spare room in this way to make ends meet easier.

good luck and we'll check in on you to see how you are doing

doodledo_2

Hi and welcome to the forum and well done for taking the first step and facing up to your situation.

As all the others have said you are not stupid, we have all done things we regret and to varying degrees but the important thing is we are all here trying to deal with them.

I think the most important thing to do is to go and see your doctor. Feeling better in yourself will make this whole situation seem so different.

Look forward to chatting more.

BrickingIt

ScaredNow77 wrote: »

Oh wow! I'm overwhelmed by your responses already and am sat at my desk at work crying. Luckily we have a 'skeleton staff' today so no one can see how crazy I really am.

As soon as I get home tonight I will try and find as much paperwork as I can. I have a feeling I'm going to need it to answer any questions.

And thank you thank you thank you for making me feel less alone. Do you know, I really expected my post to go unanswered for days. I know how these forums work, I've seen people get excellent advice on here, but I just thought that my post wouldn't get a response. I know that sounds silly but I honestly feel invisable and totally alone right now. I can't thank you guys enough for responding so quickly.

And I will also phone for a doctor appointment. I'm just very wary of being told I have depression and then being put on pills or being forced to take time off work. I won't get paid sick pay (apart from statutory) so I would be in even bigger trouble. I also feel I need to 'keep going' for my son - he's 14 so he's not unaware of what's going on. In fact, he's the one that originally suggested bankruptcy because his friend's mum did it! Bless him.

S x

ScaredNow77

There are better people on here to give you money saving advise. But make sure you keep the job going. If you go to the Doctors and he tells you are going to die tomorrow then chuck the job, if you go and he tells you you've got a bit of depression, then everything is fine and dandy and get back to work!.

Sitting at work worrying isn't going to do any good. So stop it.

SpongeBobSP

Hi ScaredNow77,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I can only imagine what you are going through.

The nice people on this forum will help you get through this. As Winston Churchill said 'When you're going through hell, keep going'

Your son needs you, and he needs you to be fit and healthy.

Good luck.
x

leoetal19

helloooo
i am a newbie too only had my lbm on sunday so a little scared and sick too and i totally admire your honesty and bravery
i was on anti-depressants for 9 months last year and ever had a day off work-they helped me out of a dark place but i didnt have the courage to face up to the real problems-my secret crippling debts
i am facing them and dealing with them
the people on here are terrific and i have read soooo much good advice
talk to one of the free debt advisors and the gp
there are only 2 things that matter;health and happiness so i wish you both in bucketfulls
sue xxxxxxx

leoetal19

thats Never had a day off!!! OOOOOOOPPPs