Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep our teenage son in the dark about his Child Trust Fund?

Jomc28

As your son hasn’t changed 18 yet, change the trust fund to 21 or 25, depending on how mature you son is, or as others have suggested talk to him, if he won this amount what he would do to with it and base decision on this, lucky boy to have parents to have the means to think ahead for his future.  I hope he will appreciate everything.

Wyndham

If he can pay his way (through a job etc) then saving the money for something substantial makes sense. But sometimes we can all end up without income through no fault of our own. There is no point him struggling to pay the bills while having money in the bank because you've said it can't be used for everyday expenses.

And, at 18, he is legally an adult. You may not agree that he's mature enough. You may not agree that he's mature enough at 25 or 30. But the law says he is an adult, and the terms of the child trust fund are clear.

thirtytwentyten

Keep it from him. You didn't save that money for him to fritter it away, you saved it for a specific purpose. Even if he no longer intends to use it for that purpose you should have say over what it is used for. Wait until he is older and has another useful purpose for it (house deposit etc...)

Surelyallnameshavebeentakenbynow

Money dilemmas don't come much more complicated than this one, trust me. Do we deeply regret our decision to tell both our 18 year olds about the CTFs, soon after their 18th birthdays. Did they both gone on to spend significant sums, quickly, with limited assets to show for their choices [tick]. Do we wish we had delayed the reveal [tick]. BUT, do  we know how we would have handled the conversation, if they'd been told about CTFs by their friends, then asked us? No, and I'm still not sure now. 

elsien

Jomc28 said:

As your son hasn’t changed 18 yet, change the trust fund to 21 or 25, depending on how mature you son is, or as others have suggested talk to him, if he won this amount what he would do to with it and base decision on this, lucky boy to have parents to have the means to think ahead for his future.  I hope he will appreciate everything.

It is not possible to do that. A child trust fund has set criteria, one of which is that it matures at 18 and that is not negotiable. 

akf1006

Protect his future and give him the money when he one day looks for a house then he will truly benefit

BNJ

Keep quiet.

Ask him how he expects to fund his "time off" as the bank of Mum and Dad is now closed.

Time enough to tell him when he has a real apperciation of monay, i.e. he has paid his way for a while. *or become a true beach bum).

The worthwhile lessons usually come with some pain!

Seakay

Your definition of mature appears to be "when he agrees with us on everything".
You 'invested' the money in his name to get tax advantages for yourself 
The account is a Child Trust Fund or Child ISA - you may have ideas about 'correct' ways to spend it but it's no longer your money because you chose to put it into his name
Obviously you are now having regrets - tough, it's too late
Now it's his chance to make decisions, they may be better or worse than yours but you decided that 18 was the correct time for him to make them and he will do so
You don't have any decision to make about this because the bank will contact him directly - information which is available on the government website. (In large, not small, print. Perhaps you could teach him to read a contract before signing it, before he gains access to his money?)

kimwp

I think it's best to talk to him about it and map out various things he can do with the money and what that will look like - including spending it all. You've set it up so he gets a large sum at 18, now you need to help him understand the consequences of the different options. 

Also, try to understand his current attitude. He may even be feeling that everything is so expensive, what is the point. Map out a budget where he gets to have a fun but productive gap year and uni experience, puts a hefty deposit on a house and gets himself in a good position to change to a different career if he wants. He may be wanting time out because he doesn't know what he wants to do - the best way to know is to give things a try.

Tenaciousterrier

It is a dilemma for you. I'm saving for my grandchildren with stipulations that it can only be used for a house deposit which will ensure they're much older and more mature, hopefully! Perhaps you could change your intention for the money as previous posts suggest. He may not even need it for uni. You may have a battle on your hands when you tell him but he'll thank you later for keeping the money safe. Good luck.