Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep our teenage son in the dark about his Child Trust Fund?

elsien

Graekeen said:

There’s an old fashioned tradition where as at the age of 21 you would be given a key to the door … a way of acknowledging you now being mature enough to know how to use use it and not abuse it …
so if he is not going to use it for what you had believed you were saving it for then I would either not give him it at all or at least only allow him part of it when he’s a bit more mature .. e.g ( 21 ).
at the end of the day I’m assuming it will all be his in the end ! inheritance etc 😇.

You might want to read some of the accurate replies before answering. It has already been clearly ascertained that the money is his at 18
and that can’t be altered. Nothing to do with inheritance at all.

ScrewedOn

Yes, it is legally his BUT he has it because you saved it for him for a PURPOSE. Had you been able to sign a contract upon opening the account you would have stipulated what it could be spent on. All this talk about it being legally his is neither here nor there: you are his parents and if he does not seem mature enough to handle that amount of money (many agreed in hindsight that they frittered it away) I would keep him in the dark. He will thank you for it. My son has a trust fund he cannot touch until he is 25, thankfully.

Rocketdogroya

You have only told us he doesn't seem interested in spending it how you hoped, not if he is financially irresponsible? I understand worries of 'frittering it away' but what does that mean? Being a couch potato, buying a ferarrii and drinking champagne or just travelling? If the later you can mature and discover SOOOO much about yourself and the world, that after 3 months away he may be ready for uni. However if its done the 'easy way' i'm not sure if it will just be a glorified holiday.

You cant keep him in the dark though as the bank will inform him around his birthday.
However, you can start to plant 'seeds' of responsibility in his mind now, become the harbingers of doom if you have to broaden his knowledge base, not forcing Uni on him but of spending it responsibly as that amount can disappear quickly. 
I assume you are well off and probably he is used to living of the bank of mum and dad. Maybe show him what its like to have to fend for yourself before he knows about it. Tell him you will stop giving him monies and charge him board when he is 18 and that actually is an amount that covers his portion of all utility bills, council tax, groceries, his mobile, petrol, insurance, oyster card what ever you pay for. Have a total in-depth analysis of every cost and why its relevant to him as most kids have no idea. Its mean but insist on it and say he will have to start paying when he is 18 as if he is not in uni, he is then an adult that has to pay there own way. Prepare him well in advance that its coming and why. Once it does happen if he hasn't woken up bank all the payments so he has a little in him pot if that hasn't encouraged him to learn the value of money.

Harsh I know but if your worried a few months of thinking about his future may really work wonders

MacMickster

The money will legally be your son's to do with as he pleases from his 18th birthday. He will be contacted about it so you can't keep it from him.

Surely the only thing to do is tell him about it in advance and provide advice to help him to plan what to do with it (but accept that the final choices are his). If it comes as a complete surprise to him shortly after his 18th birthday then he is more likely to act on impulse and you may find a Porsche parked on your driveway wih L-plates attached.

t14cy_t

I gave my children a lump some when they turned 16. I had scrimped to save over the years. They both blew it in 2 weeks. I was devastated. Keep quiet if you can. 

judy7007

My daughter inherited a similar amount when she was 18. Unfortunately she frittered away more than half of it. 

Angie2029

My son became 18 a couple of years ago. The day he turned 18 I could no longer access the Child Trust account I'd been managing from birth. They would not deal with me at all. He did know about the money so that wasn't an issue but they did write to him as soon as he became 18 to ask what he wanted to do with the money. You son will be told about it. Fortunately my son invested his in an ISA so he can use it later. I think it would be best to talk to him about his choices because you will have no control over it once he becomes 18.

Bhgal

Tell him about it ASAP so he can process it before having access to it. The trust fund will write to him asking what he wants to do about it, so he'll find out anyway. Better to allow him to think about the money, and the scale of that money. Then sit down with him and come up with a plan together. Having access to even 10% of that money is enough to go travelling and get some life experience. Well done for helping your child out with that amazing sum of money! 

Lowry1986

Seems you made the decision that your son would go to university many years ago.  Maybe he feels he is getting to the age where he wants to make his own decisions. That could explain why he is wanting to take a very different path in life than the one his parents have chosen for him.  As for the money you have saved for him. I am afraid its his money, not yours, and he has a legal entitlement to access it at the age of 18 and spend it as he wants. 

ginger_chocolate

You should not try to "influence his decision making" - if university isn't right for him, or if he wants to take a break and travel, if he wants to go straight into the workplace, or start a business, or do an "easy" job for a while while he thinks about what he wants to do with his life then support him to make those choices  - but communicate, be a sounding board, let him talk things through, help him to access information if he needs it.

I would tell him about the money now, and talk through with him what the options  are without trying to influence him one way or another. Get professional help from careers and financial advisers if he has questions you can't answer. Then when he finally gets his hands on the money at 18, even if he doesn't do what you hoped he would do with it, at least he'll have given it some thought and hopefully make a decision that's right for him.

Without going into a long story, I was pushed into the "responsible" A-level and university pathway myself as a teenager when it was absolutely not right for me. In my forties now, I still wish I'd listened to my instincts at 18 rather than listened to my parents who poo-pooed every suggestion I made of an alternative path as if anything other than university would ruin my life (in fact it took me years to undo the emotional and career damage university at the wrong time did, and I'm still paying financially for that waste of time and money!)