Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep our teenage son in the dark about his Child Trust Fund?

Ed264

I had a similar situation, with money put into a child's ISA for our daughter's university fees. The fund had about £50,000. She decided she didn't want to go to university, and from the day she turned 18 I was unable to even log in to look at the ISA and the organisation would only correspond with our daughter. She knows how much she has and has been sensible enough not to have touched it (she's 20 now). Maybe it could be put towards a deposit on property. I can't advise you what to do here, but remember that, boys being boys, he could be tempted to go and buy a Ferrari with this £100,000. Other cars are available!

alggomas

You should tell him before it matures and ask him what he thinks he should do? Only after he has told you can you perhaps suggest he puts say £90k away for the year. However you say he has stopped studying . If he wants time off why. Remember he is still looking for his id in life.
       After in your discussions say that if he spend the money where is he going to live? Also say why you have funded this fund to help his future. Do not be negative.

Johno1958

The biggest thing I take from this is the disappointment you feel because he doesn't want to go to university. It seems like this has become the Holy Grail for people but it really isn't. There are many jobs with good salaries to be had without university education. Talk to him and find out what he is interested in doing for a career. He may surprise you and have a plan.

bods

After hearing of someone's son who at 18 frittered away all his money (on a girlfriend who basically used him as a cash machine), I decided to stop paying into the Junior ISAs for my children at a certain age.  They should each get a similar amount when they hit 18 and before that we'll have a good conversation about using the money wisely.  If they look to be heading to university, then they may find it useful there.  If they don't, then there are other things they may find it useful for.

I still save money, but it goes into accounts in my name that are "ringfenced" for them in my mind.  They also savings that when they're teenagers, they'll have access to.  Which is what my parents did for me.

All we can ever do is hope our children grow up in the end to have a mature and sensible approach to money.  I know at 18 I was pretty money savvy - I had part time jobs and spent carefully.  I suspect if I'd ended up with £100,000 at 18, I would have treated it wisely.  But who knows.  We all have to learn this stuff.  We also have to accept that once our children are 18, it's their lives.  Although they will also have to accept that they - at some point - will have to pay their way.

John_Gray

tulipchickuk said:

ask him what he would do if he were to inherit £100,000
then base your decision on his response 

Of course that would not cause him to be ever-so-slightly suspicious about what is going on, now, would it?!

How many parents would ever ask such a question, and the son treat it as entirely theoretical!

Rats would be smelt by even the least intelligent person!

MrsGilbo

Every one of his school mates will also have an account – they will talk - he will find out soon.

Sit down and discuss some options with him. Ask him questions he probably doesn’t know the answer to: what does he want to do once he’s left school; where does he see himself in 5 years’ time?

If possible, give him an incentive to put it towards something for his future. If he just wants to fritter it away indefinitely you can say you’ll charge him rent as it was your hard work and savings that put it there in the first place. If he wants to travel, suggest he writes a budget to work out how long £10k would last.

Suggest that he uses say £10k on having fun but he plans how e.g. clothes, gaming, travel. Then suggest he looks at what he gets for that budget. That can then develop into a conversation about how ‘you can only spend it once’ and ‘what do you want to do in the longer term’.

Children need to be taught about money and budgeting. A more open debate is needed in this case, not trying to hide it from him. 

CrazyBee787

I knew from a young age that I was going to inherit money, however I knew I wanted it for a place to live, I did fritter some but eventually I bought a place where I owned 50%, It has set me up for life and I am very thankful for the opportunity. However I would say to my younger self you still need to try your best in school because that money is not a lot in the grand scheme of things and dreams are more likely reached if I pushed myself harder at school. However 100K is a lovelly sum, and If I were your son I would be most grateful. It is so hard to get on the property ladder, but potentially some or all of it will be frittered away, potentially it would be best to take the money back before he is 18 so he doesn't waste it, and then see how he gets on, see what he chooses to do. Of Course he may be thinking that going to Uni would be a huge expense and if he feels slightly less then average, potentially he thinks it is not worthwhile and he could be very money savvy in that respect. I like the idea of asking him what he would do with the money and decide from there.

silverwhistle

An open debate is certainly needed soon, but perhaps you could start the process by introducing the topic over a meal: "I've won £25 on the premium bonds, but wouldn't £100,000 be nice..." and then round the table!

It's all very different from when I went to university 50 years ago; for starters not many went and I got a grant (ask your grandparents for an explanation!). I still needed to do holiday jobs and contributed when home and working but had no savings or trust funds. But I was aware that I needed to budget and so accounted for every penny spent, which was also, as a history student, quite interesting afterwards: "polo mints 2p, pint in student bar 13p, phone call home 4p..". So an awareness of costs and where the money is going would be a good start.

hannerrbabes

Once he turns 18, I'd sit him down and have a chat about how much money he has and what the intended use is. 
Remember that he hasn't yet declared he has no interest in uni, just that he wants time off. He's likely been in full time education since he was 4 years old, so that's completely understandable!
He may restart his level 3 studies at a later point and go to uni as a mature student. Or, he may choose a different path. Not everyone has to go to uni! And if that's the case, discuss how the money could be best used - perhaps a deposit for a house or to start a business. 

elsien

I would also query what people mean by "frittering it away." Parents may think that using the money to go to university or buy a house is a great idea.
Peronally I would see nothing wrong in the person wanting to use to to travel and expand their horizons, for example, if that is what they wanted to do, before they have to make big decisions about the rest of their life. A child's path can differ significantly from what parents think is important for them and that can be ok.