Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep our teenage son in the dark about his Child Trust Fund?

michaels

This is precisely why we didn't top up our kids child trust funds, and very glad we didn't.  Our oldest two each got about 700 quid, most went on sex and drugs and rock n roll, but the rest they wasted....

We plan to help them with house deposits, when they are ready.  They are fully student loaned up, if they look like being in careers where it might eventually get paid back we might look to fix that to, but otherwise the debt can time out.

begonya

dont tell him, he will be legally able to simply take it and do whatever he wants, and he will regret it in few years time. 
keep it, when you give it to him, he will be happy and appreciate what you have done for him and enjoy it then, when you consider he will use that money in a much better way than now, maybe just going around spending it. he may probably, study in few years time, then this money will help him with Uni, or maybe he choses another way, and it will help him to buy a house, or spending it in any other way, but not at 18, that obviously he does not know what to do, and now, he will not know what to do with the money, consequently wasting it. my suggestion ( I have a son, and I .ll do the same, keep it until I consider he is capable of spending it how he choses, but when he is able to chose, at 18 unfortunately he may not be able to chose wisely, mine definitively is not. best of luck and whatever you do, will be the  right thing to do. 

retired19

Why not talk to him about it now before he turns 18? Whether you like it or not he will legally own the money then as an adult and if he finds out how little you trust him and try to keep it secret then he has every right to be very annoyed.
His life vision may not be what you were planning for him but it is his life!
Talk to him (as a matter of urgency) or you may never find out just what a great man he will be.
At 18 we were disappointed that our son didn't want to continue on education but we wanted his happiness above all.
He's now 40 and we are so proud of him happily married, house owning, father of 2 beautiful children. Most of all we've got a great relationship with them. 
Decide what is most important to you all as a family.

gloriouslyhappy

The youngsters in my family lucky enough to be born at the right time to get a Child Trust Fund did not have much in the way of additional funds paid in.

Instead, their parents have separate savings accounts in their own names, not the child’s, and paid funds in there as did some relatives with birthday money and so on. The parents have full control of the funds and will spend as deemed necessary ie uni fees, driving lessons, car, deposit on a flat and so on.

It’s too late for the OP, but there is time to sit down with their son and talk about what his plans are. Perhaps ask what he’d do with a large sum if not going to uni, and see what he says.

Then go away and mull it all over, have another chat with him, and introduce the existence of his CTF at that time. 

primrose_penguin

Not knowing anything about a trust fund, is there any way legally you could change the age at which he can access it? If not from what others have said it will be difficult to keep him from knowing if the bank contact him. First of all you should be congratulated for saving such a huge amount for you sons future. If he is told I think the best thing would be to have a good talk to him and perhaps try to come to an agreement that he can have a certain amount to use for travelling or uni, if he decides to go, but that most of the money should be safely invested for him to access when he is older and perhaps wants to buy a house, start a business etc. Good luck I hope he listens to you and realises how lucky he is, and that he respects your wishes.

gothvixen

ShinyStarlight1 said:

It’s a tricky question, this giving large amounts of money to very young adults. I have £ for my grandchild but I’m also aware that our brains are only fully mature at 25.

Having taught teenagers for 17 years, I'm all too aware that some people of 15 are far more intelligent and sensible than those of 25, 35 or far older. Assuming 25 is a magic age at which only rational decisions will be made bewilders me, seeing the turmoil cause by irrational and hateful people of low intellect in this world.
These parents should tell their son, the money is available to him soon and they need to discuss it with him.

Scillydiver

I set up a trust for my granddaughter to mature when she became 18 assuming that if she was offered and wanted to accept a place at University, that she would not have to worry about the financial aspects. I was concerned that as she had no experience in dealing with financial matters, that she'd not cope with having to worry about funding as well as living away from home and looking after herself for the first time ever. She had no idea until her 18th birthday that the trust existed, but after getting over the surprise, she accepted an offer, and after handing the investment over, we sat down and talked through various options. After taking advice, she decided to take out a student loan to fund herself whilst at university, and to re-invest the funds so she had a nest egg to give her a good starting point at the end of her time at university. I was so pleased that she was able to make her own decisions and has now crossed the starting line and is hopefully on her way towards getting a degree. My view is that if they are bright enough to get a degree, and the fact you are legally obliged to inform them when the trust matures, involving them by sitting down and discussing why it was done and what their options can be should be a no-brainer. If the recipient is known to beirresponsible where money is concerned, then that should be discussed with them too as at the end of the day, it is up to them to do as they see fit with their money, but telling them a few real life horror stories as seen here might help.

     

lincoln_dj

Going to Uni isn't the be all and end all. I didn't go to uni until I was much older (early 30's) and work were paying for it!

I now earn almost as much as that savings pot every year (occasional years it's more) so there ARE other options. (I did an apprenticeship from 16).

That said, 18 is definitely too young for that sort of cash. And even at 25 (as others suggest) I know I wasn't mature enough back then to not have just spent all that money on a fast car and nights out...

Graekeen

There’s an old fashioned tradition where as at the age of 21 you would be given a key to the door … a way of acknowledging you now being mature enough to know how to use use it and not abuse it …
so if he is not going to use it for what you had believed you were saving it for then I would either not give him it at all or at least only allow him part of it when he’s a bit more mature .. e.g ( 21 ).
at the end of the day I’m assuming it will all be his in the end ! inheritance etc 😇.

Plasticman

michaels said:

This is precisely why we didn't top up our kids child trust funds, and very glad we didn't.  Our oldest two each got about 700 quid, most went on sex and drugs and rock n roll, but the rest they wasted....

We plan to help them with house deposits, when they are ready.  They are fully student loaned up, if they look like being in careers where it might eventually get paid back we might look to fix that to, but otherwise the debt can time out.

Same here. While we all hope that our children would be bright, sensible people when they get to 18 there's also a high possibility that they won't be. When a friend of mine was 19 he inherited a small flat from his grandmother which was sold. Within 2 years the money was gone. He had a great time but not really what granny had hoped for!