NST February 2025 Love and Kindness

grandmanerd · 8 February at 5:20PM

I woke up feeling grumpy - not like me. So I tried breaking it down. I had a bad fall on Monday and it's taken a while to get back on my feet. I'm coming down with a cold (pretty sure it's only a cold not another super bug), my throat's a bit scratchy, my nose and eyes are running a bit, I feel weak and wobbly. Plus some small injuries, not from falling but the first couple of days after when I could barely stand. I'm not having any fun. Everywhere is a mess and every time I can move I do a bit more but it's as though it's getting worse faster than my ability to fix it - tramping from the yard in muddy wellingtons doesn't help. I hate shopping but there's a growing list of things (lots highlighted during the bad weather) I need to buy at some point. Some things I want to do - a care packages for cousins having a bad time, but they just keep slipping off the agenda.

So I checked out p1nterre -est and it gave me something on self-care (very interesting and will summarise it in a bit - it read like the script for giving a speech "Tell them what you are going to say, then say it and sum up by telling them what you just told them".

However my immediate strategy was to get to the library. I've run out of books to read. I have been reading on the laptop and have other books on there but if my eyes and nose get worse, the laptop becomes more difficult. The library closes at 2 pm on Saturdays so I decided to go there before having my shower (getting upstairs, doing the necessary, taking time to dry properly and then get dressed, I might miss the opening hours). So toddled across, sat down, checked some shelves, sat down, looked through the free to a good home (children's books but mainly YA), sat down, more shelves, sat down again, checked out thee books and rested again before starting for home.

Wanted to go to the community shop but the journey home was so exhausting, I was giving up on the idea. However I took the bag of books in, retrieved my purse and coin jar, found another bag and headed to the top of the street. I got a baked potato and a soup to go and came back (is it crazy that bought soup is now cheaper than buying a tin from the SM - I know some is rehydrated but the Community shop is made fresh from whatever veg need using up). Ate the food and felt better,

Decide against trying to drag myself up to the bathroom so sat and used a bucket to brush my teeth, stripped off and used lots of baby wipes to clean myself, then used some after sun cream to moisturise and then got dressed. Still wobbly so I'm going to stay on the couch for now, start a new series (enjoyed the first series) and continue reading my book/ start some new ones. Will do stuff when I feel a bit stronger#.

So this is taken from Alison's Notebook
What is Self-Care and Why it is Important (precis by mn)
1 might sound a bit 'fluffy' but is actually crucial to your health
2 it's very simple and can be done with a few good habits
3 self care improves physical health, promotes mental and emotional wellness, reduces stress, increases productivity, and helps with personal growth and healthy relationships
4 Taking Charge of Your Self Care Physical health, Emotional self-care, Holistic self-care, Practice Mindful Meditation as Spiritual Self Care (sorry I'm picking my way through a minefield of adverts and pop-ups)
5 Recommended Self Care Practices
a) Meditation practices
b) Quality Sleep
c) Art therapy
d) Skin Care Routine
e) Digital Detox
f) Yoga workout
g) Pilates exercise
h) Reading Books
i) Extreme Activities
j) Setting Boundaries
6 Self Care Checklist
(alisonsnotebook.com)

So I inadvertently seem to have achieved a few of those and my chosen activity (in addition to relaxing) is to start putting together care packages and letters.

Thrifty_Taylor · 9 February at 12:26AM

Lovely post @weenancyinAmerica.
Glad you were able to help your neighbour @ldee2111 & an ambulance was called eventually. Don't blame yourself for not getting one sooner, you tried & it was their decision.

A beautiful day here, with an odd shower. Headed to town after breakfast. Mum loved her cards & presents. Drove her to pick up one from her friend, dropped sewing off, then went food shopping. Mum treated us to takeaway toasties, which we are in the car, overlooking the beach (it was raining). Had a lovely time regardless.

Put all the shopping away, then waited over 1.5 hours for a customer. When I messaged, she'd got it into her head it was tomorrow, even though the messages definitely said Saturday! She's coming tomorrow afternoon now.

Sat knitting the polo neck of a jumper for a customer, as the original was worn into holes. It's taken me 9 hours to unpick & knit the neck. I've not started on the cuffs yet.... No idea what to charge!

Grateful for mum having a nice birthday, my late ex-teacher's DH telling DS3 he'll earn lots of money being a joiner like he has over the years, a good evening crafting & watching a film

grandmanerd · 9 February at 12:48PM

Sunday 9th February 2025

REFRAMING

How to stop Negative thoughts
Change your brain waves by breathing in sequence In 6-Hold 3 - Out 9
When the negative thought comes up say 'Not True@
Visualise the image of the thought shrinking until it disappears
Visualise positive situations instead Your Brain doesn't know what's real and what's imaginary
Change your pattern of negative thinking bu adding a new routine to your thought process - daily reflection, affirmation or meditation

Challenging Negative Thoughts
Am I making assumptions?
What is a more helpful thought?
What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
What would I say to a friend?
Will this matter in a few months or years?
What are other possible outcomes?
What evidence shows that this is true?
How is this thought serving me?
What is the best thing that could happen?
(Abbie Stone)

Goal Action Plan
GOAL WHY MOTIVATION
Start Date Deadline Reward
OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME RESOURCES
Big Steps Little Steps Notes

When things aren't going to plan
Is the goal too 'wooly' - vague idea but no plan of action
I want to lose weight - How much? Over what time span? How are you going to do it? Action Steps

Not Building it Into Your Life
You need small steps or changes that you can do every day - consistency
The easier the steps the more you will be able to do (you can make them harder once they become part of your routine)
If you fail a goal one day, don't give up on the whole thing. Take a short break if necessary (breathe) then resume.

My Life is just too messy, too chaotic atm
Don't wait for the perfect time, it won't come. Start today. Take the smallest step (1 extra veg on your plate, walk)
Put notes on the fridge or next to the bathroom mirror so your mind is brought back to your goal repeatedly

Exercise
Every step helps. If I'm tired on my way home, I sometimes don't press the button when I get to the traffic lights. I sit beside it on my walker. Sometimes I need to do breathing to cope with the pain (you never have painkillers to hand when you need them). But when I've rested I get ready to move by doing simple ankle movements. Some things I can do whilst waiting for a bus or even on the bus (in addition to frequent changes of position to alleviate back pain). People have horrific accidents and have to retrain their bodies to stand up and walk (sometimes with aids). If you haven't done any exercise in a long while or if it's painful work out what you can do - there will be something. Work on greater mobility, flexibility and stamina. When I did a chair based exercise course with mum a few years ago we did 'walking on the spot' (seated) and during the routine we would do 'running on the spot' (basically drumming our feet on the floor). This would get our heart rate up and help with circulation. For most of us, it's not about running a marathon, just doing what we can to retain our health and help our bodies function better.

Hope this is helpful, I'd welcome suggestions from others

Thrifty_Taylor · 9 February at 10:34PM

Another great post @grandmanerd 😊

NSD#6

Slept a little longer today. Very frosty outside, but hung the washing out regardless. It dud feel s little drier when DH brought it in before nightfall.

Did some pottering, then walked 4.5 miles with DH. My customer turned up today 😊 decided just to crack on & get her alterations done after lunch. Picked DS3 up from his bus stop.

Got my own mending jobs done after tea & got things prepped for the week ahead, then did some pampering.

Grateful for things being a little tidier, a nice walk, my shiny nails

grandmanerd · 9 February at 11:01PM

Woke up and my pills before 6 am then fell asleep again. Repeated this twice more (nearly 11 am) then started on the climbing the stairs mountain, performing my ablutions, sitting on DS3's office chair to rest, dry myself thoroughly and apply antiseptic cream and ibuprofen gel. Packed my clothes and something I needed to take downstairs in a bag for life.

I've been doing 5 or 6 things every time I got up, switching between jobs but limiting how far I moved (ankle is strapped up again but still painful). So I went in the kitchen with 2 items to go in the WM, a handful of cutlery, some rubbish and a sack full of cans. Deposited the rubbish and the clothes, emptied the water from the bowl, rinsed it out and refilled it. Washed some things that weren't very dirty, put the cutlery in the bowl to soak. Put the dirtier pots in the bowl to soak, took the cans to the bin, picked up items from the backs and the yard to go in the skip, sat on the walker and filled a bucket from the water butt to wash out a dirty bowl and clear space around the grid. Went back in the kitchen, washed the remaining pots and cutlery, filled another bowl to wash my CPAP mask. And so on and so forth - lots of bits done but only taking one step to the side for most of the time.

Watched 3 episodes of a new series (gave up on a film) and finished my online book. Grateful for use up food, extra sleep (felt good when I finally woke up) and hobbling between jobs.

DawnW · 10 February at 8:51AM

Visited DD1 and her family over the weekend. DD2 and children came too, though her husband stayed behind with their new rescue dog. They have only had her a few days, she is elderly and taking a while to settle, so they thought it kinder to keep her to her routine for now. We stayed over Saturday night and had a lovely time

Came home to a power cut. I got a text to say it would be restored by 2.30 am, but luckily it came back on just before 10 pm, so I was able to have a bath before bed. Our water is heated by gas, but of course the boiler doesn't work without electricity. I had battery powered camping lanterns ready to hand so we didn't have to sit in the dark at least.

Nothing spent over the weekend, so I am now up to NSD # 6.

Raining at the moment, but I am hoping to be able to get outside to do a few small jobs at least.

grandmanerd · 10 February at 11:55AM

Monday 10th February 2025

SLOW LIVING
The Challenge I had found was a bit disappointing but I've found a few quotes

There is no occasion when meals should become totally unimportant. Meals can be very small indeed, very inexpensive, short times taken in the midst of a big push of work, but they should always more than just food
(Edith Schaeffer)

I can achieve my wildest creative dreams going slowly and resting often

Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and a fear- based distraction from what you'd be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down

Slow Living Tips
Embrace imperfection
Practice gratitude
Create a morning routine
It's okay to not be productive sometimes
Make time for self-care
Set boundaries
Go for walks
Simplify your schedule
Set digital boundaries
Declutter regularly
Disconnect
Embrace minimalism
Create a calming space
Prioritise sleep
Embrace the beauty of doing nothing
Eat mindfully
Learn to say no
(SIMPLENATURALMOM.COM)

abundant1972 · 10 February at 1:28PM

Good afternoon 🙂

Thanks for the insightful posts - really enjoyed them grandmanerd. Feel like I need to copy and paste them all on to a clipboard and hang it from my forehead haha. I've always been a pessimist/realist - imagine the worst - then if it arises I am mentally prepared to face it. I am trying to change to a more optimistic outlook - raise my vibe and create that reality. It's hard work rewiring but I am getting there slowly!

Hugs idee2111 regarding your Mum. I get that role swapping. My Mum is in care now and fully taken care of - but there was a period of a few years where we (family) had that role - making the decisions, even washing and helping to feed her. Dad is still fairly independent - but we have taken over things like shopping and cleaning. I suppose we just try and help him to keep as much of his independence as he can safely manage. Have you for 'Power of Attorney' for your Mum? If not it's something I would recommend looking into whilst she well / of sound mind. It may be (hopefully) that she stays like that - but as with my Mum - it made everything manageable when she developed Alzheimer's.

Friday and Saturday were quiet days again, continuing in my insular space. Sunday I saw family and felt so much better for getting out and connecting with them and the outside World. Clearly its good for me - even though my brain sometimes tells me that time alone is what I need. Had a mini-spend yesterday, but other two were NSD's. Today ended up being a spend day.

Had some great news from Quidco - a big cashback that was due to clear May - was approved early and will be with me in a few days! That will be another chunk I can pay off my debt - I reckon it'll be clear by the end of this month now. I was able to pay off my mobile handset, reducing monthly payments (just pay for Airtime now). I wIil resist upgrading as my phone is fine and does what I need. Will look to see if I can find a cheaper SIM only deal now.

Today = NSD number 6

The last few days, I have been grateful for:

1) The love and support of my family
2) The support the staff at my Mum's home give her. They are truly amazing
3) Time to reflect on what is important in life

Have a lovely Monday everyone xx

DawnW · 10 February at 7:34PM

NSD # 7 for me today, as I have decided to defer paying the milk bill online till tomorrow morning.

I had hoped to do some things outside today, but the weather was awful, cold and wet

At least the chilli seeds have germinated on the windowsill!

Spent an hour getting the hang of the new upstairs vacuum cleaner. Took a while as the booklet that came with it seems to be for an entirely different model. Oh well, it is just a vacuum cleaner not a spaceship

I cleaned out the fridge and larder, and went through everything to prevent waste as far as possible. I used up some stale cake and the remains of the cream in a trifle, froze some chicken stock, blitzed some stale bread into breadcrumbs that I also froze, and rounded up the bendy veg for a stir fry. I did have to put a few tomatoes into the compost as for some reason I hadn't removed them from the plastic that they came in

Then made s shopping list for tomorrow, while I was poking around in the larder and fridge anyway.

Still need to check the bank accounts.