Teetering on the brink

Heatherweed

People shouldn't make judgements without knowing the facts. Years ago I was judged sending my eldest to uni and letting him get on with no parental money.

His brother was dying of cancer we were struggling to survive.

He went to Cambridge survived got a good degree and said it was the making of him managing on little money. Now runs his own company.

I think your doing what you believe in and that's what matters. Your girls sound lovely caring people xx

EatingBeans

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82159857#Comment_82159857

Sorry I missed you post. I repeatedly suggested dd2 register as a young carer but she was having none of it. Now it is not an option as she is over 18.

ellenvan

Thanks for sharing all that info. I can see you have really thought things through.

Its great that your daughters will have those life skills, re cooking , shopping, budgeting.

Personally I think school should include mortgage rates, budgeting, interest on cards etc. , but I know they don't.

Some kids then have to learn the hard way when managing for themselves.

Hope you can make things work out the way you want.

EatingBeans

Thanks @ellenvan I know it is not the conventional way to do things but that doesn’t mean I don’t care or consider the impact on dd2, quite the opposite.

Sadly, as expected, I have just received my PIP letter denying my claim. I got awarded 4 points on one section and 6 points on the other (needing at least 8), but considering I didn’t even complete the form and provided zero evidence, I think that is pretty good. Hopefully the CAB will help me put together something that I can send for mandatory reconsideration and I can dig out enough evidence to actually get an award next time. 🤞

daisy_1571

I would have thought the incomplete form and lack of evidence would be your grounds for sending either a completely new form or it would be put forward for reconsideration of the first one. Maybe that would be better as it would keep the earlier claim date?

Considering its potentially money in your pocket are you keeping it top of your list for energy requirements and try to get it sent off soon? It shows how close you are to being awarded it if they have all the information they need

EatingBeans

Yep, gathering the evidence to have it reconsidered is now pretty high up the list for using energy. I have my Occupational Health meeting with work tomorrow so I just need to get through that first.

Also, since so many of you are concerned about dd2 I just wanted to share a letter I just got from the college about how well she has been progressing. Sadly I missed the call from the principal when they tried to call last Friday…

Yes, times are challenging but I am actually very proud of how she is handling everything. To me the letter just shows the college agree with me.

daisy_1571

What a lovely letter for the college to send.

ellenvan

That's really good positive feedback from the college. Nice that they take the trouble to send letters like this.

debtfreewannabe321

That's a lovely letter to receive 😊!

My friend parents the same way as you although not really intentionally. She has three kids and is single and struggles to pay the bills. Once they reached 18 and child benefit and maintenance stopped she had no choice but to half bills ...they all now pay one quarter each of all bills in the house as they're all 18+. They all are mature young adults who know how to budget their money accordingly now.

EatingBeans

I had my appointment with Occupational Health today. Wow that did not go well. We literally ended up arguing at one point because she was basically telling me how I should feel and questioning why I got myself a mobility scooter if I haven’t been told to get one. She apparently thinks CBT has a great success rate at improving CFS and wanted to do it through work rather than wait from the referral that has already been put in. She was not at all happy when I said I would rather go the NHS route. It also didn’t go down very well when I pointed out the NICE guidelines specifically say that CBT should not be considered a treatment for CFS. After 45minutes we agreed to let me trial a 4hr then 6hr week over the next two weeks, then I have to go back and see her again. We also agreed to start the ball rolling on the next step towards permanently reducing my hours. Honestly I am really glad I stood up for myself because she made it very clear she just wanted to write me off as completely unfit for work. What can I say, she royally rubbed me up the wrong way! 😬

Thankfully I managed to take a rest for a little while after that meeting and I bounced back pretty well. I managed to have a good chat with dd2 and we went through what, if anything, I could do in the house to reduce her stress, how I could support her college work and if there was anything we could do with her work situation. As it happens work messaged her as we were chatting asking her to take on more shifts and against my advice she decided to agree, but thankfully she did say she could only do it occasionally. One thing I did at least manage to convince her to do was to request that they stop putting her on the closing shifts which means she comes out after the buses stop running. dd2 had been reluctant to mention it as she was afraid they would be annoyed but actually the manager seemed fine with it, they just didn’t know she didn’t have a car. So, small steps but in the right direction at least. I must admit my list of things to do to help seemed a bit odd (includes random things like getting a water meter fitted and getting rid of spiders) but hey, if that is what will help and I can manage it then I will do it! We are still waiting on the college decision over the request to split the A levels but I am of the opinion that we also do everything we can to get her on track to complete them normally as best we can because it will hopefully take the pressure off, then if turns out it is an option and she still chooses to do it, it will hopefully be done with a calm head.

Always feels better to have a plan.