Teetering on the brink

ellenvan

Great idea to separate out fuel and food spends. I do similar with Tesco and M and S.

M and Spencer go on M and S card separately for the rewards.

It's easy to underestimate spends if not all in the same place.

A little ( or a lot of needed) rest today and you should be able to manage the rest of the week.

Barclaycard looking good. A reasonable target to aim for once listing.

Cherryfudge

It sounds like a very necessary day off, and beautiful timing to get the work solutions in beforehand so they know you're an asset. I hope you get a good night's rest and tomorrow is a better day. You've really achieved a massive amount you know.

EatingBeans

Honestly I just give up with my body! i’ve now been off work all week and it is making me sad. Every time I think I am getting better something else pops up. I’ve spent two days since the endoscopy feeling like death and being unable to stay awake, then I had about two hours feeling actually well, now I’m spending the night with some weird restless arm twitching thing, insomnia, tender lymph nodes, feeling like I have been hit by a bus, and best of all, coughing so bad I can now taste blood! Whoopie! Oh and I am still covered in weird itchy bites/sore things all over my body and on my tongue, and the patch of skin on one side of my abdomen that has altered sensation and I thought might be shingles has not gone away, so I still have that too (the dr said it’s not shingles but couldn’t tell me why it feels both numb in some places yet painful to touch in others). How on earth am I supposed to work like this? Ironically, the pain under my rib that put me in hospital in the first place and was the whole reason for the endoscopy, hasn’t hurt at all since the procedure! I’m just sick of it all now. I don’t even know what to tell work anymore. I mean, I am sick with what exactly?!!! Every test they do seems to come back normal, yet I clearly have something going on. It’s like a quick fire round of how many odd symptoms a person can have over the course of a few weeks. I swear they are going to start thinking I am making it up. 😞 I just don’t get it. I wish I could turn back time to this time last year before I got covid. At least then I ‘just’ had TN to deal with not some random collection of inexplainable things one after another. 😭

Sorry, I just needed a good moan.

ellenvan

Sending you best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Things always seem worse at 3 am. Hoping this morning you are feeling even a tiny bit better.

EatingBeans

Well I’ve just come back from the GP who heard my crazy list of symptoms and wants me to just stop taking all the stuff from the hospital and give it a week to see what sorts itself out then go back at the end of one of her shifts next week to have a good chat through everything once she’s had a chance to read all my notes. The only new thing she has given me is some steroid cream for the random sores all over me which she thinks is actually a skin condition rather than bites. Go me, another diagnosis! 😞 If the pain is bad I’m supposed to revert to cocodamol which is fine by me because I’d much prefer that over the endless boxes of Tramadol.

Reluctantly, I’ve told work I wont be back until next week. Hopefully things will have settled by then at least enough to work. 🤞

ellenvan

Thinking of you. Just rest and don't stress.

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry - it must be incredibly difficult. How are you now?

EatingBeans

Honestly, I am just exhausted, both physically, and with the whole medical profession. All they can tell me is every test they have done comes back ‘normal’ apart from for my liver. I am clearly not fine! I’ve now been told the altered sensation across my middle is possibly a nerve being trapped by a muscle and I should just do a bit of yoga! The tiredness could be chronic fatigue but the local CF clinic has been closed down so there is nothing they can do to help me with that. The blinding headaches are being completely dismissed (despite having to stop work at 3pm yesterday because the pain was so bad). Best of all, the advice for the liver issue… stop drinking (I don’t drink), do some exercise and lose some weight! Yeah, I’ll just go back to running shall I when I currently can’t even stand long enough to cook! 🤬 When I said I was still having trouble sleeping but camomile tea seemed to be helping, she told me it was all psychological! The only thing I was offered was topical ibuprofen for my ‘back’ issue (my back doesn’t hurt), and told they could refer me to someone for my skin thing if that gets worse, and potentially put me on statins in the future if my glucose gets worse, but actually that’s normal at the moment so not going to do that now. Honestly, I did leave the doctors with one thing… the knowledge that whatever is wrong with me the medical profession are not going to help fix me! 😢

I’ve slept on it and come to the conclusion that the only real way to be sure that this tiredness is not a side effect of my ongoing Trigeminal Neuralgia medication is to stop taking it. The thought of that scares the hell out of me because I know how bad TN can be unmedicated, but I know that if I can somehow make the tiredness go away I can make myself feel a lot more able to cope with everything else, and then maybe even work on the diet and exercise thing. If it is not a side effect then I genuinely don’t know what I am going to do. Either way I fear this is going to be a lot of fun. 😞

ellenvan

Thanks for the update.

Take it easy if you can.

Cherryfudge

Sending love. It's so frustrating that doctors seem to assume we aren't doing the things they recommend (like stopping drinking). I suppose they have to be able to say the advice has been offered, but the bit where they don't ask you about it is such a nuisance, and of course means things aren't being looked into as deeply as they could be.

I'm assuming you've checked the known side effects of your medication, and it does seem a bit of a co-incidence that this has come up after changing it. I hope you can get to the bottom of it all.