2025 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD - The Joy of Decluttering

vulpix

Big,long sigh. Florenceem I am afraid your experience is not unique but knowing that will not make you feel better. We had this merry go round with MIL for years, it almost broke Mr V and I. The hospital cannot do anything more for the patient, there are 10 people who need that bed but the aftercare is not there for discharge.The system is completely over whelmed. There will be a discharge Social Worker at the hospital, you need to befriend them and ensure that they understand you cannot cope anymore with Mr F's care. There is very limited free care on offer at home after the first 6 weeks, it may be different in your area. Care home places are not free and are also a waiting game for a vacancy. I remember last time Mr F went to a rehab unit. I would push for that again which will give a few weeks to get a care plan in place, though I doubt very much that you would be able to have night carers unless you paid for them. There is a Sally Army care home near me. Could one nearer you be an option for you to explore?  It is a horrible situation to be in, I am so sorry for you.

Vx

Brie

Florenceem I agree with the others that having a statement written out in advance is a great idea.  You or your friends can help you write that so it will include your concerns.  You can then hand them a copy so they can refer back to it.  Might even be an idea to have a couple of copies and get them to sign your copy to say they received it.

With MiL we had reached the end of our abilities to care for her.  2 people could not pick her up easily - even the ambulance crews had difficulty as she couldn't help herself.  So when the hospital was insisting she could come back to our home we just kept saying No No No.  Fortunately the nursing team was on our side.  She did go to a community hospital in order to make the bed available in the proper hospital.  There were people available 24/7 to help her get out of bed, to the loo, etc.  And after 2 months in the proper hospital I think she was in the community one for another 2-3 months before she went to a care home.  It was only the care home that needed paying for - but I suspect in Mr F's case there would be no payment to be made.  

daisy_1571

fabulous practical advice for the florences from such lovely people, thank you for sharing some difficult memories and also the good memories.  Its so hard when dealing with those we love and negotiating such complicated systems often for the only time in our lives and often when we ourselves are getting older.  So many emotions. 

I fall back on my own mums words about my dad and my mil, if they were in their right minds they wouldn't want you to struggle.   (Hopefully everyone in the world would have relatives that would think that but I know some folk are just not that way inclined and we have to work around them.)  I know it was hard (emotionally) getting a home for my mil as that left fil in the house himself but we found a lovely home, locally, ladies only, had resident pets and organised activities if they wanted to, visiting clergy hairdresser etc, lovely staff (see cranky40s wonderful post about refreshed staff coming on shift) and it allowed us to go visit her again just as mum/mil/auntie/wife/friend.  She blossomed with the regular care and so much more company.  You could definitely argue that is preferable to being in the house. 

Squiffy that's a lovely chair indeed

Heatherweed thanks for delurking

Must get on with some sewing while the sun is out and I have good light

Daisy xxxx 

TC77

@Florenceem , my dad was worn out looking after my mum. She discharged herself home from hospital, he picked her up after falls instead of calling an ambulance as told to, and spent so much time caring for her. When she went into a home  he could sit and be with her and was mostly there but not having to do the lifting and fetching and carrying and the carers were very good. We had to fight to get a home that was near him. I'm sure he felt guilty but was glad to have reprieve and be able to be with her too. 

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

1. Write a daily To Do list - only 3 tasks
2. Concerted effort to sort out sleep patterns - Realistic targets: bed by 2:00 a.m. & up by 10:00 a.m 
3. Continue dealing with mail & email on a daily basis
4. Don’t put it down, put it away + deal with mini tasks as soon as they are noticed e.g. refill olive oil pourer or salt cellar, stitch up a hole in a garment etc
5. Commence ‘Operation Frog Tickling’ using the acronym - I.R.I.S. (Identify, Research, Implement, Sign Off) - One per quarter
6. Continue to keep kitchen clean & tidy - before going to bed

Saturday: I returned to bed, read a few pages of my book then fell asleep & had almost 2 more hours before waking up & getting dressed @ 11:30. It is a bright sunny day - blue sky with a few wispy white clouds & temperatures set to rise to 9°C . The first load of bedding is in the wm & I have a cup of tea so am all set. I hope that everyone who had the worst of yesterday’s  storm is OK & has not suffered too much damage 🤞Also hoping that if you lost power that it has been restored 🤞

Before I start cheerleading, I want to again thank all of our Declutterati family who have shared their experiences & provided information in regards to the situation that Florenceem finds herself in re MrF 🥹 I will follow the conversation but will not be replying to individual posts although Florenceem & MrF will be in my thoughts & prayers 🙏

Lovely post sqwiffy & it is nice to getting to know a bit more about you 😊  Well done on dealing with a “mahoosive frog” 👏 I am looking forward to seeing a picture of your ‘beautiful bird’ 🙂

Dizzycap, sorry to hear that yesterday’s decluttering was a struggle 😔 but very well done on getting so much done 👏 Good luck with your listings for the few remaining items behind Door 2 of the mega wardrobe 🍀

Lovely post Heatherweed ☺️

Excellent decluttering TC77 👏 Good luck with the 3 frogs especially the first one 🍀

Happy_Kitties, so sorry to hear about such an awful & distressing experience 😢😔

Liverpool_Anne, sorry to hear about yesterday’s issues with the pharmacy 😔 Well done on standing up for yourself firmly & politely & hopefully you will be in & out when you pick up your meds today 😊 Great work ‘quashing the frog’ & completing another session of ironing 👏 Hope you get the desired result at the football today 🤞

GrannyKate, PALS is such a marvellous service & you must be so proud to have been a part of setting it up 🥹 Hope you have a lovely time this evening 😊 Early Happy Birthday wishes for DS2 🎂🥳 

Excellent decluttering Floss 👏 You have a busy day planned but it will be so nice to have everything that you have already sorted completely out of your house 😊

CRANKY40, one thing decluttered is one thing less to do 😊 Good luck with your planned decluttering & tidying of your craft room & desk 🍀 This “I managed to fix an issue that he was having with a password for a site that he wanted to use (who's doing computer studiesat uni? Not me !!!)” had me in stitches 🤣

Excellent decluttering Dizzycap 👏 Please do make sure that you rest Before looking behind Door 4 of mega wardrobe 🙏 I am keeping everything crossed that you are correct & that “It might not be as bad as I think” 🤞

Excellent decluttering Florenceem 👏 Good luck removing the Vinted listings 🍀

Moorviews, great work decluttering, tidying & sorting in your kitchen 👏 This “Mr MV is a shuffler when he looks for things, consequently nothing is ever in the same place that I left it. I spend a lot of time looking for things that I know are in there somewhere, usually ending up taking everything out and putting it back again 😂” would drive me to distraction 🤪 Luckily MrSD asks where things are but only because he knows it is not worth risking life & limb looking  😉 🤣

Happy_Kitties, thank you for sharing your experiences which will hopefully help others like Florenceem who find themselves in a similar situation 🥺

Good luck with your sewing daisy_1571 🍀

DH is up, the hm soup is being heated up & I have taken the sausages out of the freezer for tonight’s dinner 😉 They are now defrosting on my ‘magic defrosting board’ 😅 Hope everyone is having as good a day as possible & that the weather is being kind 🤞See you later 👋 

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Decluttering Target 2025: 158/2025

1p Savings Challenge Running Total: £5.00

Happy_Kitties

Another box of 33 neutral items packed up and I’ve just come back from sending them.
A couple of bits were stored for just under a year, ready for Easter this year, other bits only a couple of weeks.  

So total number of neutral items sent to charity this year so far,   116+33= 149 

suzeesu2000

1 more eBay sale, only a toddler but still better than a poke in the eye with a short stick. Hoping February pay day will see some better movement. Enjoy weekend all xx

ionafan

I have very little to report on the photo decluttering - it's slow progress, with many rabbit holes and other distractions and diversions - but just wanted to pop in to say to @Florenceem that I am pleased that MrF has made some progress but am still holding you both in my thoughts and prayers xx  

2Scratters

@Happy_Kitties Please please let the regret about your dads care go . It was NOT your fault, it was the system. I'm only strong enough along with 3 siblings in the team. DSis2 has already been through with this with supporting an Aunt and Uncle(in laws) so we have the heads up about some things. 

Some small things sliding out of the house from cupboard spaces. I hadn't noticed some until I went looking for something else and then moved things round just because there was space to do so. So getting bits of packing out steadily is now showing results    I even get excited about getting pages removed from the note pad that I use. There are so many of these to use up too. Then note books, stuff from parents house   I am more that a life time or 3 SABLE with propelling pencil leads, the saving grace they don't take up much except for the fact there is 3 biscuit tins full of them  perhaps I should do a quick Tebay clear out. 

Have a good weekend I'm off to do some more Scratting around for stuff to go


2 Scratters xx

Florenceem

I did some sorting in my craft room before I went to visit Mr F.
Nurse said he had spent the morning in the chair so was tired - asleep in bed when I got there. I didn't wake him but sat there until 2 therapists arrived and woke him up.
After being told therapists don't work weekends - I was surprised but these two are based in A & E - which was heaving but nothing for them to do so they came to see Mr F.
He walked better than yesterday.
There is no hospital Social worker now - just someone the therapists work with - I suppose more job cuts.
The female therapist was lovely - much more understanding - said Mr F can go to a community based place for assessment which could be anywhere in the county - depends on availability.
I looked it up - out of patients discharged from hospital - 50% return home with no additional support needed or given, 45% return home with care packages in place and 5% go the route of Mr F.
I felt listened to today.
Mr F did say - the hope is to return home eventually.
I won't visit tomorrow - Church in the morning and a reduced bus service.
I stopped at the shopping centre on the way home and treated myself to a bumper pack of shortbread fingers and a bag of fruit chews.
When I was sorting today - I found a started tub of Hero.. chocolates - yummy.