2025 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD - The Joy of Decluttering

sqwiffy

@Florenceem It's not surprising that the lady at the shop was the final straw. I admire your restraint at the hospital when they needed two people to help but expect you to manage alone. You've had lots of good advice on here and you mustn't let anyone bully you. NO decisions without someone to represent you and that assessment. They cannot discharge him without knowing it's safe for you both. You can already make a complaint and there are people in the hospital who can help you with expressing your views. In our hospitals they are called PALS.

@mrs SD what are cwtches?

@dND thanks for saying there are many ways to get there. I picked up the Good Housekeeping mag today with it's decluttering dossier and although it seems good, I bet I'll learn more from all of you. I've thought a lot about why I clutter, if it's a mental health thing and I think it is partly, as when I've been low, it gets worse. But I also think my being so poor as a kid means I wanted to own stuff and I can't bear to let it go or waste.

Lots of cat lovers in here. I'm not really a cat person although I do like one a few doors away, who's always trying to get in my bedroom! I'm a dog person but don't want another due to ties and the kind of thing@blue_doggy is dealing with. My pet these days is my beautiful bird, who I'll tell you about tomorrow when I get a photo as he's asleep now.

@vulpix Here's my chair which I think needs restuffing as well as recovering so a big job for a beginner but I might have a go as it's the perfect size for me and I think it has good bones! Not yet though as I want to get more decluttering done first.

hi to @scandimore Another newbie like me.

To finish, my day today apart from visiting my mum was spent dealing with a mahoosive frog but I can't bear to even talk about that yet. More on that when I know you all better...... Sqwiffy.

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

sqwiffy - Cwtches is Welsh for hugs/cuddles ☺️

Dizzycap

2Scratters said:

@Florenceem do not accept him home full stop. Rehab will be a good place for him to improve his mobility. Is there room for a stair lift to be installed? Get the GP rang on Monday to start the Dementia check ball rolling. You will know more about him than others. I am sure your daughter will support you in getting this achieved even from a distance. If they are saying his is fit medically to be discharged they should be allocating/referring you to the discharge team. My dad after his stroke refused to go home which backed up what we were asking for for him.  Social services maybe able to assist too (does MrF have a social worker?). If you are to have a meeting are any of your children able to join you via the phone? Stick to your guns 

I have managed to get some small bits out places and into either the bin or recycling. Small wins but they are moving. UU shower gel too and replaced with stock. 

I am hoping I can muster the brain matter to get some items onto t'ebay and get some more moving out. 

Have a good weekend all

2 Scratters xx

I totally agree 2Scatters! I'd also be telling the hospital and the doctor that there's no one to look after him 24/7 if he does come home because you certainly can't Florenceem. That's absolutely no disrespect to you Florenceem, it's the reality of the amount of care that Mr.F is going to need. Your doctor could easily put you in touch with the distric service which provides both support & relief time for those who need 24/7 care and those who are caring for someone who needs that level of care.

As for the decluttering for the today, it's certainly been a struggle  I managed to empty the HH bins, take baby face for a walk and declutter 2 parcels at the inpost locker, declutter some more toilet rolls from the storage cupbard into the small bathroom toilet roll basket, clutter & declutter the washing machine twice, put already dried clothes & bedding away before I was burnt out and had to bed rest with 4 hours sleep No energy left to even get near the remaining doors in the mega wardrobe, so I've decided to ignore those doors for now and concentrate on listing a few items at a time to declutter the remaining items stored behind door 2, which aren't that many, but I want them out of the house ASAP. One way or another, what's left to go, is going. 1 item packaged tonight ready to declutter tomorrow morning with baby face x Let's hope there's a couple more

Time to declutter a nice cup of coffee before I go back to bed - Good night all xxx

Heatherweed

Don't normally post. I looked after husband at home with Alzhiimeras and heart problems for over 2yrs. 
Didn't want to put him in a home and struggled on until I really couldn't cope. Rang local social services in tears  who were brillant. Came straight out and he went into respite for assement next day.
It was decided he needed 24hr care as you say help was offered during the day. But it was nights that were hard he wandered etc. no sleep.
He is now in a lovely home I visit everyday and feel.I now have quality time with him.
Please get in touch with social services and get a social worker they are there for both of you.
Take care xxx

Wednesday2000

I feel for you Florenceem. It sounds very similar to what happened to my mother-in-law. They insisted she could leave the hospital and cope at home being taken care of by her son, who is seriously disabled. They had no downstairs bathroom, but they said to buy her a bed downstairs. He would not have been able to get her upstairs to go to the toilet or shower. It was ridiculous.

Lots of good advice given to you on here from other forum members.xxx

Florenceem

2Scratters - yes there could be a stair lift - I think - we do have awkward styled stairs. However that wouldn't solve the care issue - just mean Mr F could access both floors of the house. A Church friend has just had a stair lift installed for his wife but she can manage her own personal care and is mobile - just not good on stairs.
When I said about a tiny cloakroom where there is not space to assist another person - they said - you could have a commode. Who is going to get Mr F on and off the commode and support him while his bottom is wiped and his under garments are removed/replaced? Who is going to be there if he doesn't manage to get onto the commode before having a bowel movement?
Yes I could have 3 visits a day from a care team - even it that amounted to 3 hours - that leaves 21 hours a day - who works for 21 hours?  Care staff do shifts - may be 12 hours but not 21.
Asking me if I cook from scratch or use ready meals is not the issue here - therapist had a set list of questions to ask.
Heatherweed - thank you for your post. My friend said that if Mr F was being looked after - I would not be worrying and could enjoy quality time with him. It is just the guilt of having to make the decision.

TC77

Echoing all the support and hugs for @Florenceem. X

Just caught up and welcome more newbies and sox. When we got Big Cat as a rescue we had to keep him separate from little cat and he lived in dd2's bedroom for about a week but mainly stayed under the bed. They will only use l*** litter! which  can't be delivered....
And he flattened the rug which some time ago wouldn't lie flat.

Took bag to cs and added kitchen stuff , plate, large.bowl, colander etc all perfect but dd1 doesn't want. Also added dd2 clothes she'd left for cs but now washed. Also mini table top football to our bank of things ( for young people so mainly school books/ stationery and toiletries)..also have bag for our donation hub ( mainly supporting those who are homeless or refugees) so it's an incentive to declutter as so much can be reused..

Thankfully another week to get ready for decorator but still have tax , court application and helping dd1 with her ongoing accident claim and hope latter 2 will be sorted by end of year.

Hope those who need to or should rest to so and everyone pops into the tlc carriage.. I've spotted some rather enticing cakes bring served.

Happy_Kitties

I agree with @2Scratters, @Florenceem, do not accept Mr F home full stop. I was supposed to be isolating as vulnerable with health conditions and disabilities during covid, my DDad who was sharp as a pin, fought but was admitted into hospital. I was promised the world on discharge for help and support as end of life, Every service that could, did let me down- still waiting to see palliative care and social services and DDad died over two years now. It is documented a lot how it was a bad discharge, that nearly led to me having a breakdown as bec DDad was seen to have capacity, once home, they refused to go back into hospital and I couldn’t cope. There were extra things going on but i was left on my own with a parent needing 24 hour care willing to destroy me if  necessary. This all started with a bad discharge and snowballed. All bec it was a doctor who messed up promising the world but in reality there was nothing in place, with them wanting the bed and even though DDad had a s.worker, they refused to help. Turned out things were wrongly documented aswell. 

I look back and wish I had stood firm, my biggest regret.
sending hugs and support

florianatwobob

The aim of hospitals is to get someone ‘medically fit for discharge’ once that point is reached care needs are out of their remit. The hospital discharged DBro1 before he was ready which resulted in a failed discharge and a return to hospital within 3 hours. He collapsed on the stairs and nearly died there. 

@Florenceem please contact your adult social care team at your local authority. As others have said you are eligible for a carers assessment and you have already been caring for Mr F and Mr F is eligible for a care assessment of his needs. 

There may also be an integrated discharge team at your hospital (not all hospitals have them) who should include social care occupational therapists and social workers. 

Liverpool_Anne

Hi all,

@Florenceem there should be a social worker at the hospital whose job it is to organise a care package for Mr F, and any other patient being discharged from hospital, it is free for 6 weeks. Tell the Drs that Mr F cannot come home until the care package is in place. The care package can include a stay in a respite care home but may also include care workers visiting the house. I understand what you are saying about care workers not being there through the night etc but it may be that if the Drs diagnosis is partly correct and Mr F is physically on the mend he may recover his ability to walk independently etc and it just might be he needs a bit more time in a respite home and some work from the physios to help him get there. The assessment for dementia can be done while he is in the respite care home. Unfortunately I think this is the way it works with hospitals being under so much pressure for beds these days but the social worker should be able to help. Big hugs.

@Vulpix glad you have the coffee situation sorted 😁. Yes the rl news is pretty full on atm and I am limiting my news watching. I am glad nobody asked me for a word to describe the orange one. It would have contained a lot of expletive deleted 😂, I couldn't possibly post any of them as it would be sure to get me told off by the moderators 😂😂😂.

@daisy_1571 yes execution is the key 😁. I have read and watched a few things about decluttering and they all look good but somehow I have never put any of them into action 😁. Some I look at and it's a straight no way from me 😂😂 but they work for some people, horses for courses.

@weenancyinAmerica fingers crossed for rain for you but not too much, hugs

Not a brilliant day yesterday, 2 trips to the pharmacy, forgot it was lunchtime the first trip and they were closed. 2nd trip they had not received the prescription from the Drs so a 20 min phone call while pacing up and down trying to get out of the wind, someone was ill and the system had crashed, not my problem, I was firm but polite with the receptionist, said I knew it wasn't her fault but it's not good enough. Anyhow she phoned me back half an hour later to say the prescription was in the pharmacy so I will have to go again today. A note book was uu and into the recycling, the frog was quashed, only a 30 minute wait to get through to a person 😁 and an ironing session 😁. I did decluttet a lot of wood in the log burner though as it was quite cold sitting waiting on the phone 😂.The other thing I did was make a list of recommended builders from the local neighbours site. and next week I will try to get someone out to talk about getting a downstairs loo fitted under the stairs. I am being optimistic that someone will be able to do it as these recommendations are from local people who have used these builders and not had any problems 😁. I will count it as a win if I can even get them to answer the phone 😂.
At the footy this afternoon so I will have to get weaving if I am to get anything done this morning 😂, not showered yet 😂

Hugs to everyone who would like one

135 note pad uu
136 frog quashed
137 ironing
Take care everyone
137/2025