2025 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD - The Joy of Decluttering

Soontobeoap

oh dear @ @Florenceem I feel for you. I remember all this with my Dad. My brother and I knew Dad couldn't cope. Asked to speak to nurse outside. She refused and said that the patient was entitled to hear everything. Had to tell her how he wouldn't do a thing we told him to had difficulty getting to loo at night etc. I became tearful when she suggested that we stay at his and take shifts looking after him. Then nurse told me off for upsetting the patient!!! No one was listening. I wish we had been firmer. It is so hard when it is a loved one. Stay strong and look after your own health. You need to be well to cope with it all.
 

basketcase

@Florenceem
I think it's time to find someone they will listen to.

I'd have to say something (calmly, but emphatically - and not afraid to cry!) along the lines of:

"I appreciate you do great work under really difficult circumstances, and I'm certainly not trying to tell you your job.  But, however confident you are that Mr F could cope, you can't have any idea of how well I would.  I'm trying to tell you that I could not cope with the situation I'd be in.

I'm not saying your suggestions wouldn't be good ones in general, but they aren't practicable in our home.  I'm not being awkward. I'd love to have Mr F home but I can't cope. I've been doing this for 3 months already - I'm exhausted, my own health is suffering and I'm at the end of my tether.

It feels like you aren't listening to a word I say.  Maybe I'm not using the right words and should be represented by someone who does.  A social worker?   A solicitor specialising in medical matters, or my MP, perhaps?"

wishus

Chickens to be counted:

1 folder
1 blanket
6 odd balls of wool
2 pompoms
1 gold cord
2 ribbons
1 fitting from a steamer I've already got rid of
1 plastic bag
1 leaky hot water bottle
1 very tired Christmas wreath
1 very tired Christmas tabletop tree
1 leaky snow globe
1 plastic bag
3 old gift boxes
1 yellowed book no one will buy
33 magazines
2 damaged drawing books
1 damaged writing pad

That's 60 things I can chuck/recycle right now. Adding to my total!

Chickens not yet counted: 5 books added to Ebay store
1 embroidery craft kit
2 giant play dice going to charity.

So much more to do but I feel lighter already.

Floss

@Florenceem please get hold of the hospital social worker team, MrF appears to be unable to manage in your care, you own 95% of your home and the SWs should be helping you / him find the best place for him, even if only for a short period while assessments are done.

Florenceem

Soontobeoap - I am not feeling strong. I feel that I can't cope with all this anymore.
My daughter said - how can they discharge him when he can't walk properly. I said - hospital transport would dump him at home and that's it.
Since I typed the first three lines - I have spoken to my friend and we have worked on a statement that I am going to give to the Doctor tomorrow.

Soontobeoap

@ florenceem the at is such a good idea. When you are in emotional turmoil it is so hard to find the words. Good luck tomorrow. Mr F needs specialist care and you need some time to rest and recouperate. 

retiredinfrance

Hugs,@Florenceem,@Basketcase and@Floss are spot on. You have just had a horrendous experience at the hospital. No way to treat you. There must be someone in charge who should be able to to help you to understand what was/ is wrong with MrF and what THEY, not you are going to do to to get MrF into better shape.They have a responsibility to care fully for both you and him. Good idea to put things in writing.Can someone go with you to a meeting? , to support you ? . I wish I could do more than send hugs. All the declutterati family are rooting for you and MrF.xx

2Scratters

@Florenceem do not accept him home full stop. Rehab will be a good place for him to improve his mobility. Is there room for a stair lift to be installed? Get the GP rang on Monday to start the Dementia check ball rolling. You will know more about him than others. I am sure your daughter will support you in getting this achieved even from a distance. If they are saying his is fit medically to be discharged they should be allocating/referring you to the discharge team. My dad after his stroke refused to go home which backed up what we were asking for for him.  Social services maybe able to assist too (does MrF have a social worker?). If you are to have a meeting are any of your children able to join you via the phone? Stick to your guns 

I have managed to get some small bits out places and into either the bin or recycling. Small wins but they are moving. UU shower gel too and replaced with stock. 

I am hoping I can muster the brain matter to get some items onto t'ebay and get some more moving out. 

Have a good weekend all

2 Scratters xx

EcoIntent

@FlorenceemMr F is entitled to an assessment about his care and support needs, and you a carers assessment. It is social care that need to be involved; the local authority has certain obligations.

Also, see this guide to reablement or intermediate care (note 6 weeks is free) https://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/factsheets/fs76_intermediate_care_and_reablement_fcs.pdf 

Really feel for you, sounds terribly distressing .

Re decluttering for me, not a lot just a couple of parcels sold on ebay posted off today. I've listed a few things today, but am hoping to get more done over the weekend. 

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

1. Write a daily To Do list - only 3 tasks
2. Concerted effort to sort out sleep patterns - Realistic targets: bed by 2:00 a.m. & up by 10:00 a.m 
3. Continue dealing with mail & email on a daily basis
4. Don’t put it down, put it away + deal with mini tasks as soon as they are noticed e.g. refill olive oil pourer or salt cellar, stitch up a hole in a garment etc
5. Commence ‘Operation Frog Tickling’ using the acronym - I.R.I.S. (Identify, Research, Implement, Sign Off) - One per quarter
6. Continue to keep kitchen clean & tidy - before going to bed

Since I last posted we have had fish, chips & peas for dinner & I have wudupa. The ordinary laundry has been done & is dry but will be dealing with the bed linen tomorrow. Ashamed to say that about 30 minutes after eating I fell asleep on the sofa for 2 hours & have just woken up 😔 I am still sleepy so I will be off to bed shortly. 

155 - 157 Kitchen recycling, large glass jar, drinks cans - recycled

158 Kitchen detritus binned 

However I have read Florenceem’s posts & am at a complete loss for words. I am so sorry to hear how appallingly badly you & MrF are being treated 😢 I will pray for you both 🙏 Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day & someone in authority will listen taking into account your written statement & will start the ball rolling for some interim care. Echoing retiredinfrance’s sentiments “I wish I could do more than send hugs. All the declutterati family are rooting for you and MrF.xx”

Thank you also to Soontobeoap, basketcase, Floss, retiredinfrance, 2Scratters & EcoIntent who have offered up practical  information.

Sleep tight 😴 

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Decluttering Target 2025: 158/2025

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