Please god help, 60k in debt and feeling suicidal

elsien

Do not use made up credit scores to factor into your decisions.
It’s based on credit history and affordability. so yes he will be better than yours because he has no missed payments but all the debts will still show.

And I am another one who thinks you should be paying both people’s loans off more equally. What you don’t want is for things to go pear-shaped again and split up and all his loans are paid off and yours aren’t.
Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

KxMx

If a friend came to you and said:

I'm deep in debt, partly because my partner didn't support the household sufficiently financially. 

I've got a newborn baby, and when I told partner about debt they left. 

We're back together but he added to his debt while we were seperated.

We are now focusing on paying off his debt & preservation of his credit worthyness. 

What advice would you give that friend and what would be your opinion of partner? 

Shadyocuk

KxMx said:

If a friend came to you and said:

I'm deep in debt, partly because my partner didn't support the household sufficiently financially. 

I've got a newborn baby, and when I told partner about debt they left. 

We're back together but he added to his debt while we were seperated.

We are now focusing on paying off his debt & preservation of his credit worthyness. 

What advice would you give that friend and what would be your opinion of partner? 

This sums it up!!

eleanorl89

I appreciate it guys but I just can’t deal with the personal advice right now, I’m not in a very good place mentally at all. My life is a complete mess & I don’t see an end to any of this. I don’t know how much more I can take to be honest

I have also just received this letter from Very.co.uk, it doesn’t specify any action. Are they likely to just default it & sell it to a DCA to whom I can make repayments to? Do I continue to not engage until the debt has sold? Or are they likely going to go straight to court action?

“Important - you should read this carefully

Default Notice

Served under Section 87(1) of the Consumer Credit Act 1974

Running Account Credit XXXX

We refer to the above agreement which you have entered with us. The Payment Clause of the agreement provides that you must make the required periodic payment in full by its due date. You are in breach of that clause because you have failed to make all your periodic payments in full when due, and arrears amounting to £848.44 are outstanding.

To remedy the breach you must pay us the total arrears of £848.44 before 22-SEP-2025.

If the action required by this notice is taken before the date shown, the action below will not be taken in respect of this breach.

If you do not take the action required by this notice before the date shown, then the further action set out below, may be taken against you.

Further action:

On the date shown, we shall require payment of the outstanding balance on the account, less any rebate allowable, as set out below:

Amount of outstanding balance

Less rebate

Total amount payable

£4123.20

£0.00

------=---

£4123.20

If you are not sure what to do, you should get help as soon as possible. The Governments Money Helper Service can help you find free debt advice and support, or you can contact the organisations listed in the Financial Conduct Authority's information sheet, which is provided alongside this letter. This information sheet also contains important information about your rights. If it is not included you should contact us to get one.

If you have difficulty in paying any sum owed under this agreement, you can apply to the court for an order to give you more time to pay any sum owed or take any other action required by this notice. The free advice services referred to in this notice and in the Financial Conduct Authority's information sheet can help you explore this option.

Kind Regards

Customer Arrears Support Team

Thanks all

birdsfoottrefoil

Hi Eleanor, it sounds like you’re making progress to getting this all sorted if you are getting a letter like that. 

So take it is a positive that they’re closer to defaulting you and everything been calm. You have got this and you’ve got so far through the worst of things on your own, so have faith in yourself and keep going!! 

13thlegion

I strongly recommend you speak with a GP about all of this. They will be able to put in place support so that you can process all of the things you are going through without any of it getting on top of you.

Andyjflet

Driving into the detail will drive you literally mad, please don't do it to yourself, stick to the initial plan. Things are underway and there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

ManyWays

eleanorl89 said:

I have also just received this letter from Very.co.uk, it doesn’t specify any action. Are they likely to just default it & sell it to a DCA to whom I can make repayments to? Do I continue to not engage until the debt has sold? Or are they likely going to go straight to court action?

The terms of that letter are set out in legislation, so Very isnt allowed to deviate from them at all. It therefore doesnt mean that Very are thinking of taking you to court; it is actually really rare for a lender to take a borrower to court, they normally just sell the debt on. 

RAS

As ManyWays explains the wording in the letter is dictated by legislation. They've no leeway.

We usually warn people that they will get scary letters which mean that the default is due. So welcome it.

sourcrates

Simple default notice, with statutory wording issued under sec 87(1) CCA .

Shop direct group has been rebranded to "The very group", they normally sell to the likes of Lowell/Cabot/ACI etc etc.

A default notice is just words in a letter, tomorrows recycling fodder, you must learn the difference between a "statutory notice" that must be sent by law, and a creditors "threatogram" designed to mess with your mind, all get treated equally in the bin.

I adopted a strategy where I used to laugh at debt collectors, I even told them jokes over the phone, I`d egg them on to make good on their threats, they never did of course, but it broke the ice nicely.

Once I learned that in reality, there was very little they could do to me personally, I stopped fearing the process, and just got on with it, never gave my debts a second thought after working out a plan to repay them, I strongly urge you to adopt a similar policy, over thinking things and panicking at every letter must stop, its far too counter productive, once a plan is in place just forget about it and get on with your every day life, debt just isn`t worth the worry.