Please god help, 60k in debt and feeling suicidal

fatbelly

Court action has nothing to do with the size of the debt. You would think that it does but it really doesn't. So previous comments still apply

EssexHebridean

Ahh anxiety is a filthy thing, it really is. You’ve nailed it - one minute you can be calm and rational and thinking logically and the next minute something triggers and BAM - it’s back to rambling racing thoughts and quivering panic and convincing yourself that the world is going to end and even the things will still get worse… 😆 Yes - guess who’s also been there! I’ve got a little mantra for whenI feel myself spiralling down into that rabbit hole these days - “This too shall pass” - because it does. The things you’re panicking about don’t happen, and life carries on much as it always has. 

I’ll remind you again too - you don’t need to punish yourself. You’ve done nothing which requires punishment. Whether others have “worse problems” is entirely irrelevant - we’ve seen people on here dealing apparently perfectly calmly with debts of hundreds of thousands of pounds, and others in a complete lather about owing a few hundred. Comparisons with others are pointless - we can only deal with what is on our own plates right now. 

Andyjflet

I'm still following your posts, I wonder if you could channel your energy into starting to clear your debt, it really is addictive, I'm a relatively decent earner and still find myself using my Chase roundup pot to pay small chunks off my mortgage etc, and I mean, small chunks, like £8 etc. Its a mindset change I have had for around 5 years after getting into the Dave Ramsey babysteps. I cleared £65k worth of debt and restarted my life at 50 years old. 

This is an example thread of how to change your mindset and rechannelled your energy into something positive. You can change the future for your children and help them grow up with a different mindset.

Paying off £37065 unsecured debt by July 2027 while continuing to travel this amazing world - Page 47 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

Mine as caused I believe by various reasons, my father was terrible with money, and still is at 82, I watched him crying one day in his 60s and realised I wasn't going to follow him. He has a large detached house which is now virtually all gone on equity release because he didn't have enough money to live on, when I go there he still spends money on things. I worry about buying a £3.85 coffee and making sure absolutely everything I buy now is in cash, Its a life changer I promise you. 

eleanorl89

I’ve had my first letter for payment after default through, i’m assuming that’s what it is. It’s from MBNA & although I haven’t had a specific letter from them stating that the default has happened, i posted a previous letter in here that was titled ‘your credit agreement has ended please make a payment’ & it went on to say they’d sell the debt on or keep it in house & they’d be in touch. This was 6th January. The wording to the letter is in a previous post i made on this thread. 

I’ll post the letter from today below for advice if possible please, i’d really appreciate it thank you

” Our Customer Priority Team are now managing your account (amount owed £9200)

Dear xxxx

Your account has been passed to our Customer Priority Team. We are a specialist team helping customers ike yourself, who are currently experiencing challenging situations. Now that were looking after your account, we'll work together to agree a manageable way for you to repay your outstanding balance.

If your account is now in credit, you don't need to do anything and you can ignore this letter.

What you need to do next

If you can't make the payment in full or think you may struggle to pay in the future, it's important that you let us know. We can work through your situation and agree how we can help you as much as possible. You can call us on the Freephone number above or write to us using the details at the top of this letter.

We can help

Every day we help our customers take control of their finances. Agreeing a manageable way for you to repay your arrears will help you manage your account effectively and limit the potential impact on your credit rating. It will also give you the peace of mind that we have a plan in place to resolve this issue. Even if you are only able to make small monthly repayments, this is the first step to getting your finances back on track. Please get in touch with us using the details at the top of this letter to discuss your options and support we can offer.

What we need from you

If we don't have up to date details of your income and expenditure, please complete as much of the form included with this letter as possible. Having these details to hand when you call us, or return the form, will save you time.

If you're suffering from a medical condition that has affected your finances and we have discussed the need for evidence, please ask your medical professional to complete the Medical Evidence Questionnaire included with this letter and send it back to us.

This information will help us to understand how we are able to support you.

If you'd like us to talk to a friend or relative instead, or to a debt management professional, please complete and return the Third Party Authority form included with this letter. This will give us permission to discuss your account with them and they can manage your finances on your behalf.

What we will do next

Your account is now being managed by our Customer Priority Team. We won't try to contact you for 30 days, but if we don't hear from you or your authorised third party during that time, we'll try to call or write to you again.

Your credit reference file may be affected

Your Credit File has been impacted

We've shared information about the default on your account with Credit Reference Agencies which will stay on your file for 6 years. This will have an impact on your credit score and could make it more difficult for you to borrow from banks, building societies and other credit providers in the future.

Although a default cannot be removed, if the debt is settled within the six years, the credit reference agency will record the debt as satisfied.”

Ok, so Does this mean they have given me a default & i can now start communicating with this team to aboid any further action & start making a dent (albeit small) in this debt?

Thanks so much!

eleanorl89

Also guys, just wondering about CCAs after reading some more threads

My Barclaycard CC was opened over 10 years ago, in 2014 - with limit increases happening in more recent years (original limit was £3500 which crept up to 15k over the years)

My Natwest CC was opened over 7 years ago, in 2017. (Always had a 20k limit)

Should I be requesting the CCAs for these cards? Or are they likely to have all paperwork in order as they’re obviously major banks

(Don’t really know what i’m talking about to be honest!) 

RAS

At this point, probably best to hold your fire. The bank are much more likely to find the paper work now that in a couple of years when it's been sold on 2 or three times.

EssexHebridean

I suspect the advice will be that you may do best holding off on that until the debts have been sold/passed on and you are starting to make payments to them. The reason is that there is more chance of them not being able to provide paperwork at that stage, whereas now the chances are all the paperwork will still be in one place and easy for them to lay their hands on. Therefore and allowing you aren't paying now anyway, you may be best holding off for a while. 

Happy to be corrected on this by Sourcrates, fatbelly or one of the others with more specific knowledge in that area, though! 

Rob5342

CCA requests are worth making at some point. They become less likely to be found as time goes on and when the debts have been sold. I would wait until they had been with a DCA for a while before requesting one. 2014 isn't thst old, I had a 2010 one thst was found quite recently. You may also consider making affordability complaints at some point too.

First things first though, get yourself into a sustainable position on a dmp with everything defaulted. Once that's all sorted and had been running for a while then start looking at potential ways to speed things up like making CCA requests and affordability complaints. Don't pin your hopes on them as there are no guarantees, just treat them as a potential bonus where you might strike lucky with one of them. 

eleanorl89

No problem thanks so much guys. In regards to the letter received by MBNA in my previous comment, does this indeed look like i’ve been defaulted & am I safe to contact them to make a payment at this point in regards to a self managed DMP?

Karonher

I may be wrong but that seems very quick. This is from CheckMy File and appears in much the same wording on Stepchange.

The people you owe usually send this after six months of missed or under payments. They give you at least two weeks to make up missed payments. Your account defaults if you cannot pay in this time.