Money Moral Dilemma: Should we ask our daughter and her boyfriend to start paying us rent?

MSE_Laura_F

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My daughter and her boyfriend have bought a house. They're redecorating before moving in, so they've been living between our house and his parents' home. My daughter stopped paying us rent in May, shortly after they got the keys. While I'm happy to help, my husband and I are both low earners and claim a small amount of Universal Credit. My daughter puts £1,000 away in savings each month, and she and her boyfriend earn £120,000 a year between them, so I feel it's unfair she's lived with us rent-free for five months. Should I tell her this?

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Emmia

She should be paying you at least the costs of food etc. and it's a bit sad frankly you can't raise this with her. 

Talk to her about some rent. 

Brie

Take the costs that are standard with your house - council tax, heating, water, mortgage etc.  Divide in two and tell them that's their share if they live with you full time.  They can then decide if they pay that or less because they don't always live there.  I'd treat food as a separate item as they may well be wanting something special, buying in takeaways etc.  But have a look if your bills have gone up since they moved in.  So if you are paying £200 a more at Tesco then they should just pay that amount on top of the rent being charged.

And back date it all.

LightFlare

i would ask for them to contribute towards any additional costs you are incurring 

horsewithnoname

Absolutely tell them how much they need to pay. You don’t necessarily want to profit from them, but you certainly don’t want to subsidise a pair of adults. Part of being an adult is paying your way. 

Pollycat

Very rude of your daughter to just stop paying rent and expecting to live with you for free. 
Why on earth didn't you tackle this 5 months ago? 
Of course you should tell her she's being unfair.

CapeTown

Just say.... can I have a contribution towards bills. It is incredibly mean of them not to give you anything since you are both on benefits.

kimwp

It seems fair that they pay any additional costs to you and at least treat you as a thank you for the inconvenience. If they give you money though, does that stop your universal credit?

seeroo

kimwp said:

It seems fair that they pay any additional costs to you and at least treat you as a thank you for the inconvenience. If they give you money though, does that stop your universal credit?

If anything they're at risk of losing their universal credit if the council realise they're living there. I used to stay over at my husband's parents house when we first started dating a few nights here and there and one of their neighbours reported them to the council and said I was living there. They take into account anyone's wages who are living in the property. 

elsien

This is true. Show them this - Potentially, this is something you should already have informed universal credit about.

https://www.turn2us.org.uk/get-support/information-for-your-situation/universal-credit-uc-housing-costs-element/universal-credit-uc-what-if-i-have-another-adult-living-with-me#:~:text=housing%20costs%20element%3F-,Universal%20Credit%20(UC)%3A%20What%20if%20I%20have%20another%20adult,treated%20as%20your%20non%2Ddependant

sakuramoon

I would definitely expect them to contribute to the bills and food at least. There aren’t many people who can put £1,000 away every month with this cost of living crisis! I know someone who was on universal credit while living with her parents as she was between jobs and she had to pay them a large part of that towards their bills. Certainly as you’re on a low income it seems unbelievable to me that they wouldn’t be paying. Are they not aware of your situation? I hope you can discuss it with them soon especially now that with Winter energy bills will likely be increasing.