Money Moral Dilemma: Should we ask our daughter and her boyfriend to start paying us rent?

Spendless

zoesarahuk said:

sakuramoon said:

I would definitely expect them to contribute to the bills and food at least. There aren’t many people who can put £1,000 away every month with this cost of living crisis! I know someone who was on universal credit while living with her parents as she was between jobs and she had to pay them a large part of that towards their bills. Certainly as you’re on a low income it seems unbelievable to me that they wouldn’t be paying. Are they not aware of your situation? I hope you can discuss it with them soon especially now that with Winter energy bills will likely be increasing. 

Even after putting £12k away a year, they've still got £108k left!!!!! That's £9k a month. What on earth are they doing with that? They can afford to rent somewhere whilst they decorate their house and still have plenty left over. Selfish to not give her parents something, even if it's just for the shopping and inconvenience.

They havent because thats a gross income not what they take home. They will pay tax and NI on it, some at a 40% rate plus any other deductions such as a pension contribution. 
That doesnt mean they dont still have a decent income because they do.
The OP needs to check what benefits they may lose by them staying there and charge them.for any loss incurred plus the additional expenses. 

Q11

Yes they should help out.  perhaps it’s not actually occurred to them.   5 months to decorate! Really! You could build several houses in that time. 

mlz1413

Your daughter should not have stopped paying rent.

I'd just say that when she stopped paying rent you assumed it was because she was about to move out.  And as she hasn't then you need her to start paying again.
Regardless of her income or out goings, if she is still staying at your house in the same way or a similar way to before buying a house,  then she needs to pay the same or a similar rent.

honestcove

5-months for redecorating!
Chip in and buy them a bigger paint-brush to expedite their departure.

Blackbeauty65

I think it's very selfish of your daughter and boyfriend not to pay you anything towards living with you. Why did she stop paying, was it agreed mutually by both of you? If not you should ask them to start contributing immediately. It's not as if they can't afford it. 120k salary for both if massive therefore no excuses. You must deal with it today if you haven't confronted them already. Good luck!

marjie

I suspect they are paying a mortgage on the house they bought.  Even so if they are able to save £1000 a month and have such a good income they should still be paying you something towards the bills .  This really isn't fair

Pollycat

marjie said:

I suspect they are paying a mortgage on the house they bought.  Even so if they are able to save £1000 a month and have such a good income they should still be paying you something towards the bills .  This really isn't fair

When they move into the house and start paying bills, they'll have a shock after freeloading on both sets of parents for the last 5 months.
Assuming the partner isn't paying anything to their parents either.

Exodi

Brie said:

Take the costs that are standard with your house - council tax, heating, water, mortgage etc.  Divide in two and tell them that's their share if they live with you full time.  They can then decide if they pay that or less because they don't always live there.  I'd treat food as a separate item as they may well be wanting something special, buying in takeaways etc.  But have a look if your bills have gone up since they moved in.  So if you are paying £200 a more at Tesco then they should just pay that amount on top of the rent being charged.

And back date it all.

A tad brutal no? Half their parents mortgage as well?

With respect, your post is a bid contradictory, where it starts by suggesting they daughter should pay half of all costs for living there full time, then goes on to say 'have a look if your bills have gone up since they moved in' - which one is it, or should the OP charge her children even where her bills haven't increased?

Peoples mortgages don't go up because their kids live with them nor does council tax (as it sounds like the parents are a couple and wouldn't be entitled to SPD).

At best you could make a point about utilities or food, but I'd be more interested to know the context behind the current situation.

Specifically - did the daughter just unilaterally stop paying rent when she got the keys? Would the OP be less motivated to pursue backdated rent if the couple weren't collectively earning ~£120k p/a?

Finishing your comment with 'And back date it all' just feels heartless. This isn't a tenant, this is a mother and daughter - it's already sad enough that they're not close enough to be able to communicate openly about these kind of things, I think it might be the nail in the coffin if at the same time as the daughter is trying to find her own feet in a new house, the mother decides to go on a mission claiming back-dated rent arrears, again without a conversation. Seems like a quick way to get yourself off the Christmas card list.

Just my 2c - personally I would forget about it, I suspect this conversation is primarily fueled by the income disparity. That's not to say the daughter is right, if she really did unilaterally stop paying rent and hasn't offered anything, then that's not great either.

PINEAPPLE1234

Tell them that once they are in their house you are going to spend 6 months living with them for free whilst you rent out your house to make up for the extra expenses that you have incurred this year, they will be taken aback and quite frankly not want this to happen but it might just shock them into taking some responsibility for themselves.

Emmia

Really the parents just need to grasp the nettle, and have a frank conversation with the daughter / son in law