Need to stop spending and chasing dopamine!

Pink_Butterfly

OH is still full of cold 😢 he’s really suffering. His throat is terrible and he has an awful cough to go with it. Poor thing. He’s due back at work tonight but I’m not sure if he’ll go. He’s currently sleeping so will see how he feels when he wakes up.

Work was very frustrating today. I was happy to log off at 4:30pm 😂 Dinner tonight was just some leftover pasta bake as I needed to take DD2 out for her choir performance. It was at my old secondary school, which happens to be the school she’s going to in September. We picked up my friend and her daughter on the way as the parking was going to be a nightmare, so thought we should reduce the number of cars. My friend and I have been close friends since we were 2, so we are more like sisters, and when we get together we turn into complete goofballs 😂 On the way home we put some 90s pop songs on my Spotify and sang along very loudly to show our girls how good music was when we were their age…I think they were cringing 🤭

I popped into town at lunchtime to buy another sheet of wrapping paper, as I’d run out and still had some presents to wrap. All have been wrapped now and all cards have been written 😊 OH just needs to write in his mum’s Mother’s Day card, and then we’ll get flowers for both our mums at the weekend.

I’m going to go and tuck the girls into bed now ❤️ Still not sure when DSD is next with us. Hopefully it will be soon x

Pink_Butterfly

I’ve just got home from DD1’s parents evening and to say I’m blown away and overwhelmed is an understatement. Considering she was created from fairly average parents when it comes to intelligence, she’s absolutely smashing it! I’m so proud of her, but not just because she’s got the brain of a surgeon. She has obviously been through a lot this year already but she’s not letting it affect her education or her future ❤️

I have to share it all on here if that’s ok, as I don’t want to come across as one of those OTT braggy mums to my friends! I need to say it somewhere though!

Her maths teacher said she is scoring 100% in her tests and is in the top 5 pupils in the whole year. He said if the school allowed it, she could easily do the GCSE in the next year (which I believe as she’s done GCSE questions at home before when she’s been bored!). Her science teacher said similar - top 5, scoring 100%, expected to do well in her GCSEs. Her English teacher spent the first 2 minutes of the session talking about how strong the class is this year. That there are 32 pupils in his class (6 more than there should be) because the standard is so high and they had no choice but to put them all in one class. And then he followed it up with “…and DD1 is in the top 2 of the class” 🥹 I welled up at this point! It was a lot to take in. He then said he’s been giving her A Level work to do!

Her French teacher said she absolutely must do French for GCSE as she’s brilliant at it. She also called her “her favourite” 🥰 Even her history teacher said she was doing really well and scoring 100% on tests. Every teacher said they loved her. That she’s a quiet girl, but works really hard, does all her homework on time, and just gets on with it. They also complimented her friendship group, and said they are a lovely bunch of girls and encourage each other to do well. I agree with them there - she has some lovely friends.

I left the school feeling so proud & emotional! She was at my mum’s with DD2 while I was there, and I gave her a hug as soon as I saw her & told her I was very proud of her. But in the back of my mind I thought, I don’t want the praise to add loads of pressure to her. I’ve always said to myself that if my kids aren’t academic that it’s fine, as I care more about their happiness and wellbeing. That still stands, and I don’t want her to think that she must keep the scores high or we’ll be disappointed, because that would not be the case. Sure, I love that she’s doing well, but the praise is more for her effort and her behaviour. The grades are an added bonus.

Anyway, sorry, I had to get all of that out 🤣 DD2’s parents evening is in a couple of weeks and that will be about her upcoming KS2 SATS tests in May. Again, I don’t add any pressure to her, just tell her to do her best.

OH is on the mend thankfully. He reckons it’s Covid but I’m not so sure. Either way he’s getting better so hopefully he’ll be feeling 100% soon.

I did day one of a management course at work today. My boss put me forward for it in preparation for my promotion in July. It was really good actually! Day two tomorrow, but this time we’ve got to do some role playing 🤮 urghhhhhh!!!!! Work provided lunch today & they’re doing the same again tomorrow 😊 And then when it’s done it will be the weekend! Yayyyy 🎉

Humdinger1

Wonderful news @Pink_Butterfly! You're z fab mum love Humdinger xx

Pink_Butterfly

Thank you. I do try! She is a clever cookie bless her. Not so fab at tidying her room mind 🤣 But I cut her some slack because I don’t think she has anything left in the tank to do things like tidying. She works so hard in school and then she’s doing homework in the evenings, so I like to keep her bedroom tidy so she has one less thing to think about, and it means she’s got a nice, clean space to relax in.

It turns out she was the only student in the whole year who scored 100% in the end of term maths test 🥹 Her friend has asked her to help her older sister with her homework 🤣

Day two of the management course went well but I am tired now! No time to rest though as I’m going to the local club to do a quiz with my friend and both of our mums lol 😁 I need to quickly get changed but OH is asleep so I will probably wake him up, d’oh x

Pink_Butterfly

Last night was brilliant. I had the best time - I didn’t stop laughing all night! And we won the quiz! I really don’t know how 😂 I didn’t think we got many questions right, but apparently we did better than the other 17 teams 🤭 We won 6 shots and a £50 voucher for the club. My friend, who was a tad tipsy, was dancing around the room when we found out we had won, and I filmed the whole thing 😂 It’s a shame You’ve Been Framed isn’t still a thing because that performance definitely would’ve got us £250 🤣

This morning I met another friend for a coffee and a catch up. I had remembered just before I arrived that I had a £5 gift card that a colleague kindly sent to me when all the horribleness with DD1 was going on, so I treated myself to a snack too, and spent a grand total of £2.45 🙂 It was nice catching up with my friend as I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months. She has 2 children who are in the same school as DD1 and are similar ages, so it’s nice to compare parenting notes with her.

After that I went home and had some lunch, & then me & OH went to his sister’s house. His sister’s husband was also there, and 2 of OH’s nieces, so it was nice seeing them all. One of the nieces is turning 20 next week so we gave her some presents and a card. I think her favourite present was the big bottle of raspberry vodka 😂

On our way home we picked up some milk and a few other bits from the supermarket, and then OH treated us to a KFC for dinner as we were both starving but in no mood to cook as we both felt really tired. OH had a £15 voucher 🙂 Lots of vouchers being used today!

OH is back at work tonight so he’s currently in bed but will be getting up in the next 45 minutes, and then I’ll be going to bed. I feel drained. Tomorrow I’ve got a bit of a busy day as I’m travelling 50 miles with my mum to meet one of my brothers for a Mother’s Day lunch, and then I’ll need to see my girls at some point. DD1 has been at the park near my house today with a friend she doesn’t see often as they go to different schools now, and DD2 has been at her performing arts class rehearsing for a show she’s doing in June. I’ve bought some birthday presents for DD2 today, as she turns 11 soon (😭) - which reminds me - I already bought her something for her birthday last week but I forgot to hide it, and she only went and found it didn’t she! I lied and said it was for someone else 🤣🤣🤣 Silly me for not hiding it.

Pink_Butterfly

Mother’s Day was lovely ☺️💗 One of the highlights was DSD texting me wishing me a happy Mother’s Day ❤️ bless her. My mum, brother and I had a very nice meal, and we even got a round of free drinks as the staff asked us to move tables when we had just finished the main course. They were very apologetic but they needed the table in order to seat a group of 12. Trying to find the restaurant in the first place wasn’t fun though, and my mum was wearing 4 inch heels so she couldn’t walk very fast 🤣

I saw my girls when I got back and they gave me 2 lovely cards and a £20 gift card for Next which came in handy as I had a small balance on my account from buying birthday presents.

Speaking of birthdays, today is my dad’s birthday and he arrived home last night, so we’re going over later for a take away ☺️ I dropped off his presents last night so he had them this morning to open but he wasn’t home at that point.

Before dropping the presents off I had the most unfortunate experience of meeting DSD’s mother. I knew she was a horrible person but I expected her to put on a nice act, considering it was the first meet. How wrong I was. We only chatted for 15 minutes (it would’ve been longer but she was 10 minutes late) and she didn’t ask me one question about me, despite claiming she wanted to meet me to see if I’m safe enough to be around her daughter. Instead she spent the whole time slagging off OH, telling me really inappropriate things, like the last time they were physically intimate, and speaking about custody arrangements when she said in her message to OH she wouldn’t be discussing it with me because “it’s got nothing to do with me”. She constantly interrupted every time I tried to speak and in the end I just said I had to go and left.

How OH stayed in a relationship with her for 7 years is a mystery but I guess that’s how abusive relationships are - he was trauma bonded. And I see the effects every day. He apologises for EVERYTHING, even when he really doesn’t need to. I could say something like “oh, I’ve just seen that picture doesn’t look quite straight on the wall” and he would immediately apologise 😢 I tell him he doesn’t need to but it’s so deep-rooted. He says now that he didn’t realise how bad she was until he met me. I’d go as far as to say she is actually worse than my toxic ex. He was a manipulative, nasty person with many many issues, but I don’t think even he would’ve acted like that yesterday.

As it stands, we are still only having DSD every other weekend. Which means we can see her tomorrow 😍 yay! Hopefully in time her mother will get fed up with having her so much and then will agree to us having her more.

I’ve been doing a lot more walking this week and it’s been great. The nicer weather has definitely helped ☺️ i will do some more again today - I want to hit 10K steps if I can. I’m working from home so I’ll walk around the estate at lunchtime and then I’ll try and walk after being at my dad’s birthday meal.

I transferred about £1.2K the other day to the solicitors for the deed of variation (just legal costs and disbursements) so hopefully it will all be done soon, and I can get rid of the flat for good!!! 🙏🏼

RhiBi

That sounds an horrendous meeting with DSD’s mother, well done on keeping calm and leaving when you knew the conversation wasn’t achieving anything.

I can totally understand the trauma bond as I’m in that position now, and too apologise for everything, even apologising before I say something in case it isn’t relevant to the conversation.

I’m glad you have DSD on the weekend and I’m sure you’ll make the most of your time together, and how lovely for her to send you a message on Mother’s Day too.

Fingers crossed all will be sorted with the flat soon xx

Pink_Butterfly

Awww @RhiBi 😢 I’m sorry that you’re in that situation. It’s the absolute worst. I got into a toxic relationship 8 years ago and spent 3 years with the guy, and it was horrendous. When we broke up I was so poorly & damaged from the relationship and it took me a full year before I felt like myself again. I hope you have a good support network and have things going on in your life that distract you from it all ❤️

I chased up the managing agents today and they said my solicitors have not responded to their e-mail, which they sent on 12th March! So annoying - I paid them 4 days ago! I have chased them up now, but that’s basically a full working week gone with no progress 😠 Sigh. 18 weeks since I accepted the buyer’s offer now 😬

I had a lovely evening last night with OH, DD1, DD2 and my parents for my dad’s birthday. We ate so much food 😄 Today is my youngest brother’s birthday so he popped round with his wife after they went out for a meal. They gave DD1 £10.00 for doing so well in her tests at school.

DSD is with us now 🥰 I gave her the biggest hug when she walked through the door. She gave me a Mother’s Day card & some chocolate, and it was the chocolate she knew I loved 🥹 She’s such a sweet girl. She said she felt bad that she couldn’t see me on Mother’s Day but I told her she must not feel that way - it’s not her fault. I know I’m going to find it hard saying bye to her on Sunday but I will try not to think about that now, and will enjoy the next 48 hours with her ❤️ I love that girl so much and I wish we could keep her here 😭

I’m still trying to keep my step count up by going for walks on my lunch break and after dinner every day. If I walk around the estate it’s almost exactly 2km which is a nice distance. OH, DSD and DD2 came with me after dinner tonight which was lovely - we all played tag on the way round lol. DD1 was at the park with her friends but she got home soon after we did.

We had a surveyor round this morning, as OH needed it for the remortgage, so hopefully that will go through soon. OH’s mum sat in the house while he was here as I had to do the school run and OH was at work. We spoke about DSD for a bit and she started crying 😢 all because of how DSD’s mother treats her. It’s upsetting the whole family 😣 We’ll be seeing a lot of OH’s family tomorrow for a bbq to celebrate his niece’s birthday which should be nice.

I’m off to chill out before bed - I’m sleeeeepy! x

Pink_Butterfly

I can’t get back to sleep so thought I’d pop on here 😊

Yesterday was pretty full on. OH was working until about 8:30am and as soon as he got home I left to take DD2 to her performing arts class. After I dropped her off I went to get some food in from the supermarket and then went on a nice walk with DSD. I couldn’t persuade DD1 to come with us sadly so she stayed in her room listening to music whilst OH was having a nap. The walk was lovely - it was a proper spring day! ☀️🌸 DSD was giving me some random facts about animals as she’s a big animal lover.

After I picked up DD2, OH got up & decided to wash the cars. I ordered DD2 some birthday presents from Boots while he was getting his scrub on (and got £2.17 cashback 😎). Her wishlist is massive 🤣 I did have some clothes from White Fox Boutique delivered a few days ago for her birthday but they’re too big for her, even though they were in the smallest size they do, so I need to return them. I only have 2 more weeks to get more presents & get them all wrapped now 😬

We all went to OH’s mum’s house in the afternoon for a bbq. OH’s sister, her husband and one of their daughters (the one who has just turned 20) were also there, as well as his mum’s next door neighbour who I met for the first time. She was super lovely. The food was good but we all ate too much 🤣

We all went out for a walk when we got home to burn off some of the calories (except DD1… I think she walks so much in the week that she doesn’t want to do it when she’s not going to school!) but DSD hurt her leg on the way round, so I took her back home while OH & DD2 explored the top of the estate which is still being built on. I hit my 10K steps so I was happy!

My parents popped round in the evening because my dad hadn’t seen the house yet. All the kids were hyper - they must’ve thought it was a mad house 🤣 It often is to be fair 🤭

Today we need to do a sort out in the kitchen which will no doubt involve a tip run. It desperate needs doing. The whole space needs to be cleared and then we need to buy a dining table that seats 6 people. At the minute we only have a small round table that seats 4 people which is obviously not ideal. We also need to throw things from the storage cupboard into the loft. Can’t wait til it’s all done!

Pink_Butterfly

Well we didn’t quite make it to the tip but we have done a lot today (including 3 loads of washing!). Many things are now in the attic and the kitchen is looking clearer. OH got some storage boxes for the girls’ old school books which was handy so they now have a home. We put most of the things that were living in the storage cupboard like photo albums in the attic, as we won’t be needing them any time soon, so now we have things in the cupboard that we’ll actually use, like wrapping paper, board games etc 😊 We also improved the corner of doom in the kitchen by shoving a load of things in the attic 😁

OH built DSD a small desk in her room which his brother helped him with. They also both fitted mirrors in the main bathroom, and looked at fitting our new cupboard for the kitchen. I was on tea & coffee duty 😁 While they were having fun with the drill I posted pictures of the girls’ old arts & crafts drawers and their old white coat hangers in the local WhatsApp group to see if anyone wanted them and 2 people came to collect them, so more space created 😊

I’ve managed to hit my 10K steps again by walking around the estate with the girls. I love where we live so much - new build estates get a bad reputation, but the one we’re on is lovely and has a really nice community feel 🥰 There’s plenty of greenery and places to walk, and they’re going to be opening a country park later this year too! There’s also a very good coffee shop here, and a co-op, a Subway, 2 take away places, a gym, a barbers, and a sunbed place (which I’d never go in these days as I’m frightened of the big C, plus I don’t want to age quickly 🤣). There’s also a new primary school and a community centre which are both close to a very good park for the kids. I feel lucky to live here. It’s so different to where I lived before, which wasn’t exactly the safest place to live! Quite often the local park there stunk of weed and you’d see needles & broken glass on the floor 😣 and the odd fight 🙈 It’s much safer where we are now.

One of the walks I went on was just with DD2, as DSD and DD1 went out together to get some lunch and she felt left out. I can understand why DSD and DD1 didn’t want anyone else with them - they’re only a year apart and are both in secondary school, whereas DD2 is 2-3 years younger, still in primary school and is very “young” for her age in many ways. I can also understand why DD2 felt left out, but she soon cheered up when we went out on our walk. We climbed the steep hill so we could see the whole estate and met a very nice dog walker. DD2 is fascinated by seeing all the new houses being built & always asks lots of questions about builders and the building process in general.

DSD’s mum text OH while we were preparing dinner (Bangers & mash - I got the use a potato ricer for the first time…. Game changer!!) and she was actually nice! She asked OH if he wanted to have DSD over the Easter holidays before she made plans, so of course he said yes and they agreed on some dates. He was meant to be dropping DSD off tonight but offered to keep her another night and take her to school in the morning and she said yes to that aswell. We are both a bit shocked 🤣 Long may it continue!

I’m going to relax for the rest of the night now. Needless to say I’m tired 😴 x