Packed lunch or school dinner?

Emmia

kezzygirl said:

Angelica123 said:

kezzygirl said:

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

He's not making the packed lunches because he doesn't want to eat the packed lunches. You're just wasting food and money by pushing it, and having him throw away packed lunches to buy school meals. 

I would focus your energy on getting him to have healthier meals at home, and getting rid of the less nutritious snacks around the house. If he wants brioche every day then he can start saving money to buy it. 

That's the thing. He will not eat breakfast if something snacky isn't available! Hence the brioche. He won't eat toast, will eat waffles or brioche. Is it better he goes to school on an empty stomach?!!!

But what about regular bread, wholegrain or multi seed for example? Not sweet butter loaded brioche or Belgian waffles.

Choices can be made to limit what's on offer to healthier options

kimwp

Emmia said:

kezzygirl said:

Angelica123 said:

kezzygirl said:

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

He's not making the packed lunches because he doesn't want to eat the packed lunches. You're just wasting food and money by pushing it, and having him throw away packed lunches to buy school meals. 

I would focus your energy on getting him to have healthier meals at home, and getting rid of the less nutritious snacks around the house. If he wants brioche every day then he can start saving money to buy it. 

That's the thing. He will not eat breakfast if something snacky isn't available! Hence the brioche. He won't eat toast, will eat waffles or brioche. Is it better he goes to school on an empty stomach?!!!

But what about regular bread, wholegrain or multi seed for example? Not sweet butter loaded brioche or Belgian waffles.

Choices can be made to limit what's on offer to healthier options

Kezzy said he won't eat toast. Is it the convenience in the morning ie he won't stop to wait for the toast? Or they aren't that easy to carry in one hand? Snacky type things that are easy to carry but could be more healthy are toasties (the ones that squish the bread together at the edges) or possibly even homemade Cornish pasties - the only issue if he doesn't want to wait is that they'd be cold.

Emmia

kimwp said:

Emmia said:

kezzygirl said:

Angelica123 said:

kezzygirl said:

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

He's not making the packed lunches because he doesn't want to eat the packed lunches. You're just wasting food and money by pushing it, and having him throw away packed lunches to buy school meals. 

I would focus your energy on getting him to have healthier meals at home, and getting rid of the less nutritious snacks around the house. If he wants brioche every day then he can start saving money to buy it. 

That's the thing. He will not eat breakfast if something snacky isn't available! Hence the brioche. He won't eat toast, will eat waffles or brioche. Is it better he goes to school on an empty stomach?!!!

But what about regular bread, wholegrain or multi seed for example? Not sweet butter loaded brioche or Belgian waffles.

Choices can be made to limit what's on offer to healthier options

Kezzy said he won't eat toast. Is it the convenience in the morning ie he won't stop to wait for the toast? Or they aren't that easy to carry in one hand? Snacky type things that are easy to carry but could be more healthy are toasties (the ones that squish the bread together at the edges) or possibly even homemade Cornish pasties - the only issue if he doesn't want to wait is that they'd be cold.

Who said anything about toast? Slices of bread can also be eaten untoasted.

Angelica123

kezzygirl said:

Angelica123 said:

kezzygirl said:

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

He's not making the packed lunches because he doesn't want to eat the packed lunches. You're just wasting food and money by pushing it, and having him throw away packed lunches to buy school meals. 

I would focus your energy on getting him to have healthier meals at home, and getting rid of the less nutritious snacks around the house. If he wants brioche every day then he can start saving money to buy it. 

That's the thing. He will not eat breakfast if something snacky isn't available! Hence the brioche. He won't eat toast, will eat waffles or brioche. Is it better he goes to school on an empty stomach?!!!

Yes. Believe me he won't go hungry. He will either choose to eat the thing that's not his preference, he will choose to save and buy what he does want to have. 

Spendless

kezzygirl said:

Angelica123 said:

kezzygirl said:

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

He's not making the packed lunches because he doesn't want to eat the packed lunches. You're just wasting food and money by pushing it, and having him throw away packed lunches to buy school meals. 

I would focus your energy on getting him to have healthier meals at home, and getting rid of the less nutritious snacks around the house. If he wants brioche every day then he can start saving money to buy it. 

That's the thing. He will not eat breakfast if something snacky isn't available! Hence the brioche. He won't eat toast, will eat waffles or brioche. Is it better he goes to school on an empty stomach?!!!

Is he eating brioche as he travels to school because toast isn't exactly time consuming and unless he's eating the waffles straight from the pack they are often toasted too,

There's various grab and go items you can eat, eg an apple or banana so it doesn't have to be brioche/waffles or nothing. There's also plenty of alternatives if he doesn't like apples or bananas .  Reducing/eliminating the less healthy stuff will have him having to make choices in the morning. He won't starve by going to school on an empty stomach and sometimes you just have to take the 'tough' stance regardless of how much they whine and complain

Exodi

Sorry but speaking honestly I do roll my eyes when a parent suggests that their child will starve if they don't cave to their every demand.

I'm sure he'll survive if you swapped his favourite chocolate chip brioche rolls for bananas in the weekly shop, children weren't dying up and down the globe before the invention of modern day ultra-processed snack food.

Children, just like adults, crave fat, sugar and convenience... an unfortunate relic from our caveman days that we've not lost. The foods he craves are not a coincidence, they all share the same characteristics.

Swap the crisps, sausage rolls, treats, brioche buns, waffles, etc for bananas, yoghurts, babybels, nuts, etc in your weekly shop.

He can't eat something that's not in the house. He won't starve (for long).

kezzygirl said:

he won't have a sit down meal, just a slice of pizza, a panini or something else

He shouldn't have the option, it's no surprise he won't have a sit down meal of lentil lasagna if there is also an a la carte menu with pizza on it.

sheramber

To be hinets I wouldn't eat lentil lassagna either.

As you have found at  15 years old you are not going to force him to eat things he doesn't like.

My 12 year old grandson has a bagel or a scone for breakfast. Somwtimes creal if he is the mood.

Sit down with him and make a list of what he does eat then come to an agreement with him what he can have for breakfast and what he can take for lunch from that list.

Exodi

sheramber said:

As you have found at  15 years old you are not going to force him to eat things he doesn't like.
<snip>
Sit down with him and make a list of what he does eat then come to an agreement with him what he can have for breakfast and what he can take for lunch from that list.

But to play devils advocate, what do you do when that list inevitably consists of takeaway, pizza, burgers, chips, chicken nuggets and sweets?

I don't have a teenager so I appreciate I very well may be naive here, but I don't think you should allow the child to make what are effectively parenting decisions, just like I wouldn't allow him to also set his own curfew.

What I think would be a better way to go about it would be to present him with a list of options the parent chooses, and let him choose his preferences from that list. I certainly wouldn't be cooking two sets of dinners every night and I certainly wouldn't put my spouse and I in a situation where we have to eat pizza every night because we allowed our child to decide the household meals.

Skiddaw1

For what it is worth, one of our nephews would eat virtually nothing but cheese & tomato pizza and sausages throughout his childhood/teenage years. He turned out absolutely fine.

I wouldn't worry too much OP. As has been said, fight your battles (etc). Go with the school lunch, let him have his waffles for breakfast and wait for him to grow out of it.

silvercar

There is also the social aspect of school lunches. Things may have changed in 50 years, but back in my day 90%+ had school dinners.