Packed lunch or school dinner?

kezzygirl

My son is 15 and eats as much rubbish as his tummy can handle. We buy packed lunch items (rolls, filling, crisps, sausage roll and treat) but he doesn't make them himself. He would rather starve or have something at school, texting to ask me to add money to his school account. Often we have sandwich fillings go to waste unless we make them for him. So we have thought of just paying for school dinner( he won't have a sit down meal, just a slice of pizza, a panini or something else). This would probably equate to about £60 a month, much more than what we pay on pack up bits but we would still be buying the snacks side of things as he will eat these at home. Am I being tight in not wanting to pay for daily school dinners when he has the option of stuff from home? Feel a bit bad and wonder if we should just not give him packed lunch but put money on his account.

New_in_the_fens

Personally, if he can’t be bothered to make his own lunch at 15, he can go hungry. I wouldn’t be paying money into his lunch account. 

oldernonethewiser

Does he get pocket money?  He could use that to pay for his lunches if he can't be bothered to make anything himself.  Might introduce him to the concept of fiscal responsibility.

kimwp

New_in_the_fens said:

Personally, if he can’t be bothered to make his own lunch at 15, he can go hungry. I wouldn’t be paying money into his lunch account. 

Same! Just don't add money to his account. 

maman

Is he the only one in the family who has a packed lunch? Maybe you could try taking it in turns or making them together to teach /encourage him? 🤔

Or, if he has pocket money then put in the absolute minimum for food at school (or maybe enough for 2/3 days a week) and give him the option of paying for the other days himself or taking packed lunch.

Could it be his mates all buy school food? Although, if he's happy for you to make it or he eats take aways then it shouldn't matter.

If it's just idleness then you've got to try both encouraging him to help out and be responsible with money. 

kezzygirl

Umm yep unfortunately it is idleness. We allow him one school meal a week, have done for years, but lately he is just getting lazier. My husband makes himself a packed lunch and will do our son his rolls too. I worry he's not eating enough as he often picks at the meals I prepare and will make something himself later *rolls eyes*

elsien

What food preparation does he do at other times – if he can make himself a sandwich at weekends he can do it for school lunches. 

And if he can’t, then he really should be able to. 

Is he bad at  getting up in the morning and would rather lie in bed then get up and get organised, in which case does he need to start sorting things the night before?. 

Neil8419

Pack lunch all the way if you have a mum and dad like mine! 

Emmia

kezzygirl said:

My son is 15 and eats as much rubbish as his tummy can handle. We buy packed lunch items (rolls, filling, crisps, sausage roll and treat) but he doesn't make them himself. He would rather starve or have something at school, texting to ask me to add money to his school account. Often we have sandwich fillings go to waste unless we make them for him. So we have thought of just paying for school dinner( he won't have a sit down meal, just a slice of pizza, a panini or something else). This would probably equate to about £60 a month, much more than what we pay on pack up bits but we would still be buying the snacks side of things as he will eat these at home. Am I being tight in not wanting to pay for daily school dinners when he has the option of stuff from home? Feel a bit bad and wonder if we should just not give him packed lunch but put money on his account.

I'm going to go against the grain.

I'd not bother with the lunchbox (don't buy any of it including the snacks) and just give him money for the school dinner.

Being critical ...crisps, sausage roll and a treat... doesn't sound very healthy, and pizza / panini (if that's what he goes for) is no worse than any of that.

£60 a month for 20ish lunches a month (£3 per day ish?)!also doesn't sound expensive.

We have a canteen at work and I spend £3-£4 a day on a sandwich+fruit / baked potato+ filling/ salad bar items/ or a hot meal like spaghetti bolognese. I could make a packed lunch, but I prefer to pick what I fancy when I get to the canteen.

Lunch in the alternatives like Pret/Leon/Nero is more like £7+ or a meal deal in the supermarket is £5 - the canteen, cost wise is a no brainer in comparison.

Ultimately, your son is a teenager who wants to fit in with his mates, and would prefer a school dinner he can choose on the day, rather than a packed lunch, the contents of which are pretty much chosen for him.

mr_stripey

Emmia said:

kezzygirl said:

My son is 15 and eats as much rubbish as his tummy can handle. We buy packed lunch items (rolls, filling, crisps, sausage roll and treat) but he doesn't make them himself. He would rather starve or have something at school, texting to ask me to add money to his school account. Often we have sandwich fillings go to waste unless we make them for him. So we have thought of just paying for school dinner( he won't have a sit down meal, just a slice of pizza, a panini or something else). This would probably equate to about £60 a month, much more than what we pay on pack up bits but we would still be buying the snacks side of things as he will eat these at home. Am I being tight in not wanting to pay for daily school dinners when he has the option of stuff from home? Feel a bit bad and wonder if we should just not give him packed lunch but put money on his account.

I'm going to go against the grain.

I'd not bother with the lunchbox (don't buy any of it including the snacks) and just give him money for the school dinner.

Being critical ...crisps, sausage roll and a treat... doesn't sound very healthy, and pizza / panini (if that's what he goes for) is no worse than any of that.

£60 a month for 20ish lunches a month (£3 per day ish?)!also doesn't sound expensive.

We have a canteen at work and I spend £3-£4 a day on a sandwich+fruit / baked potato+ filling/ salad bar items/ or a hot meal like spaghetti bolognese. I could make a packed lunch, but I prefer to pick what I fancy when I get to the canteen.

Lunch in the alternatives like Pret/Leon/Nero is more like £7+ or a meal deal in the supermarket is £5 - the canteen, cost wise is a no brainer in comparison.

Ultimately, your son is a teenager who wants to fit in with his mates, and would prefer a school dinner he can choose on the day, rather than a packed lunch, the contents of which are pretty much chosen for him.

Yeah, I'm with you. Mine rarely eat the sandwiches they have (even when they make the pack up themselves). School/College canteen is easier for everyone and doesn't cost a fortune.

I struggle to get enthusiastic about my own packed lunch so I don't blame them for getting something "nicer" in the canteen

Silvertabby

mr_stripey said:

Emmia said:

kezzygirl said:

My son is 15 and eats as much rubbish as his tummy can handle. We buy packed lunch items (rolls, filling, crisps, sausage roll and treat) but he doesn't make them himself. He would rather starve or have something at school, texting to ask me to add money to his school account. Often we have sandwich fillings go to waste unless we make them for him. So we have thought of just paying for school dinner( he won't have a sit down meal, just a slice of pizza, a panini or something else). This would probably equate to about £60 a month, much more than what we pay on pack up bits but we would still be buying the snacks side of things as he will eat these at home. Am I being tight in not wanting to pay for daily school dinners when he has the option of stuff from home? Feel a bit bad and wonder if we should just not give him packed lunch but put money on his account.

I'm going to go against the grain.

I'd not bother with the lunchbox (don't buy any of it including the snacks) and just give him money for the school dinner.

Being critical ...crisps, sausage roll and a treat... doesn't sound very healthy, and pizza / panini (if that's what he goes for) is no worse than any of that.

£60 a month for 20ish lunches a month (£3 per day ish?)!also doesn't sound expensive.

We have a canteen at work and I spend £3-£4 a day on a sandwich+fruit / baked potato+ filling/ salad bar items/ or a hot meal like spaghetti bolognese. I could make a packed lunch, but I prefer to pick what I fancy when I get to the canteen.

Lunch in the alternatives like Pret/Leon/Nero is more like £7+ or a meal deal in the supermarket is £5 - the canteen, cost wise is a no brainer in comparison.

Ultimately, your son is a teenager who wants to fit in with his mates, and would prefer a school dinner he can choose on the day, rather than a packed lunch, the contents of which are pretty much chosen for him.

Yeah, I'm with you. Mine rarely eat the sandwiches they have (even when they make the pack up themselves). School/College canteen is easier for everyone and doesn't cost a fortune.

I struggle to get enthusiastic about my own packed lunch so I don't blame them for getting something "nicer" in the canteen

This.  But stop buying crisps/sausage rolls etc so he can't stuff himself with snacks before your evening meal.  Or after, if he won't eat what you have cooked.