Packed lunch or school dinner?

GDB2222

Clearly, your son won’t be able to concentrate in lessons if he is hungry. Yes, he’s being lazy, not making his own lunch, but this isn’t a battle that I would choose to fight. 

LightFlare

15 year old boys are funny creatures 

having been one and had one - I know.

ask him what he prefers - pick your battles carefully

Grumpy_chap

maman said:

Could it be his mates all buy school food? 

Or, of course, all buying something from the local takeaway outlets.

kezzygirl said:

lately he is just getting lazier. 
I worry he's not eating enough as he often picks at the meals I prepare and will make something himself later *rolls eyes*

It may not be laziness, but being "one of the lads".
He may be eating sufficient (even if not healthily) from the school canteen / local takeaways, so not hungry at family meal time but then, having skipped evening meal, snacking later in the evening.

Emmia

My parents only permitted fruit or breakfast cereal with milk as a post school snack -  bowls of shreddies, Weetabix, Cornflakes or similar (not things like frosties, Coco pops...)

No eating after dinner.

If you don't have it in the house your son can't snack on it...

kezzygirl

elsien said:

What food preparation does he do at other times – if he can make himself a sandwich at weekends he can do it for school lunches. 

And if he can’t, then he really should be able to. 

Is he bad at  getting up in the morning and would rather lie in bed then get up and get organised, in which case does he need to start sorting things the night before?. 

Yes, he lays in bed until the last minute in the morning. He has ample time in the evening to do a quick packed lunch but chooses not to.

kezzygirl

Thanks for your responses, all of which are mixed! I do ask him what he would like for lunches and he chooses rolls, with 'proper' ham or chicken, chooses his crisps and chocolate bar. My husband will make him tuna mayo or use the aforementioned ham. Breakfast wise, he has never been a cereal boy. Never had milk on cereal in the mornings and hardly ate it. He has always been a picker/snacker and his favourite dinners are things like wraps where he can choose what he eats, which is usually just chicken and mayo, maybe a dash of lettuce but that is it. Breakfast consists of a chocolate chip brioche or pain au chocolate that he grabs as he walks out of the door and eats on the walk to school. I do want to pick my battles which I why I suggested just paying for school dinners but again it's pricey!

kezzygirl

Just had a look and he's buying burgers, pizza slice, panini, mac and cheese. All on the days he's having packed lunch.. which means he's either hungry, or binning his lunch.

kempiejon

So I had money for lunches and train tickets, I bunked the train until I got caught and bought a ticket then. Lunch money and spare travel cash was added to pocket money and converted into fags and booze, drugs and fireworks. A little battle over lunch/no lunch is the least of your worries. Drove my mum to an early grave I reckon.

kimwp

It might be beneficial to talk to him about the importance of nutrition ie 5-10 fruit/veg a day, a varied diet getting enough fibre and the effect of frequent acid attacks on his teeth. I didn't listen much to my parents as a teenager, but if you can frame it in terms of the future issues he is building, it might get through. He's at an age when he can start taking responsibility for looking after himself. Maybe ask him when is a good time to sit and discuss it and ask what his views are too. 

It's a good opportunity for him to learn budget management if you decide to go down the school lunch route (or school lunch on some days and not others). Give him a budget and no more. He can take the food you provide for packed lunches if he runs out of money. I really wouldn't worry about him going hungry unless he has issues that means he can't eat the food you are providing. 

I think it's unacceptable that he turns up his nose at the dinner you make for him. We would not have been allowed to leave food and then eat something else - unless he gives you notice that he won't be eating your meal, then his leftovers go in the fridge and he can eat them when he gets hungry.

Savvy_Sue

kezzygirl said:

Just had a look and he's buying burgers, pizza slice, panini, mac and cheese. All on the days he's having packed lunch.. which means he's either hungry, or binning his lunch.

Have you asked him which it is? Is it so he can fit in with his mates? I'd have more tolerance of that than of just not being bothered.

Is it worth taking a longer term approach to this? What's his plan for post 16?

Once mine went into 6th form, they had an allowance which would cover travel (no longer free from local authority), lunches, and a bit more. How they spent it was up to them: DS1 used it as expected; DS2 made packed lunches and walked to and from school to save bus fares; DS3 made packed lunches and negotiated an advance to buy a bike. 

They also had to do their own laundry. Important to learn WHEN to do that, IE before you put your last pair of pants on ...