Packed lunch or school dinner?

Emmia

kezzygirl said:

Thanks for your responses, all of which are mixed! I do ask him what he would like for lunches and he chooses rolls, with 'proper' ham or chicken, chooses his crisps and chocolate bar. My husband will make him tuna mayo or use the aforementioned ham. Breakfast wise, he has never been a cereal boy. Never had milk on cereal in the mornings and hardly ate it. He has always been a picker/snacker and his favourite dinners are things like wraps where he can choose what he eats, which is usually just chicken and mayo, maybe a dash of lettuce but that is it. Breakfast consists of a chocolate chip brioche or pain au chocolate that he grabs as he walks out of the door and eats on the walk to school. I do want to pick my battles which I why I suggested just paying for school dinners but again it's pricey!

Part of your issue is you're presumably buying the brioche / pain au chocolat he's grabbing on the way out - like the pizza this is junk food (high in fat, salt and sugar). You want him to eat healthily, and you describe him as a picker... So could he pick at something better for him.

This is partly on what is available to him, what would he eat if brioche wasn't available? Would he eat a banana or an apple (for example) instead?

kezzygirl

Emmia said:

kezzygirl said:

Thanks for your responses, all of which are mixed! I do ask him what he would like for lunches and he chooses rolls, with 'proper' ham or chicken, chooses his crisps and chocolate bar. My husband will make him tuna mayo or use the aforementioned ham. Breakfast wise, he has never been a cereal boy. Never had milk on cereal in the mornings and hardly ate it. He has always been a picker/snacker and his favourite dinners are things like wraps where he can choose what he eats, which is usually just chicken and mayo, maybe a dash of lettuce but that is it. Breakfast consists of a chocolate chip brioche or pain au chocolate that he grabs as he walks out of the door and eats on the walk to school. I do want to pick my battles which I why I suggested just paying for school dinners but again it's pricey!

Part of your issue is you're presumably buying the brioche / pain au chocolat he's grabbing on the way out - like the pizza this is junk food (high in fat, salt and sugar). You want him to eat healthily, and you describe him as a picker... So could he pick at something better for him.

This is partly on what is available to him, what would he eat if brioche wasn't available? Would he eat a banana or an apple (for example) instead?

No he wouldn't eat fruit. Believe me, we have healthy foods but he refuses to eat them. Dh had a heart attack in april and our diets now Consist of lentils,chicken, veg, salad, fruit etc etc our son will turn his nose up at turkey and lentil lasagne, requests minced beef lasagne, won't eat any veg (hasn't for years) as he doesn't like it. Requests steak, burgers etc which I don't cook. He will eat a granny Smith apple but cuts it up as he has fixed braces. That's it. He wouldn't eat if the brioche was unavailable. 

kezzygirl

kimwp said:

It might be beneficial to talk to him about the importance of nutrition ie 5-10 fruit/veg a day, a varied diet getting enough fibre and the effect of frequent acid attacks on his teeth. I didn't listen much to my parents as a teenager, but if you can frame it in terms of the future issues he is building, it might get through. He's at an age when he can start taking responsibility for looking after himself. Maybe ask him when is a good time to sit and discuss it and ask what his views are too. 

It's a good opportunity for him to learn budget management if you decide to go down the school lunch route (or school lunch on some days and not others). Give him a budget and no more. He can take the food you provide for packed lunches if he runs out of money. I really wouldn't worry about him going hungry unless he has issues that means he can't eat the food you are providing. 

I think it's unacceptable that he turns up his nose at the dinner you make for him. We would not have been allowed to leave food and then eat something else - unless he gives you notice that he won't be eating your meal, then his leftovers go in the fridge and he can eat them when he gets hungry.

He knows full well the health benefits of fruit and veg. He just doesn't like it and never has. We would battle at dinner times to get him to eat a full meal and it's the same now. 

Angelica123

Pick your battles. In a few years, he will be 18 and you'll have no control on what he chooses to do. As an adult, who pays the food bill, I struggle to motivate myself to make and then eat packed lunches so I am not surprised a teen would feel uninspired. You are wasting money right now paying for packed lunches and school dinners. Just pay the school dinners and let him do what he wants. 

I think you have gotten it the wrong way around. You are trying to influence what he does out the home but your biggest influence is what you do at home. Stop buying the brioches etc.. you worry he will go hungry but he won't. He'll either choose to settle for what is available or he will save pocket money to buy the snacks he's willing to have. Don't battle at dinner table to make him eat a full meal. He can choose to have what's available, he can pick at it later or he can save money to buy what he wants. Unless you think he is the rebellious type to stage a hunger strike, he won't starve. 

Side note, you can pack a lot of veg into a beef lasagne without someone noticing -eg mushrooms minced have a meaty flavour, you can definitely add that to the beef without noticing. 

Rosa_Damascena

kezzygirl said:

Umm yep unfortunately it is idleness. We allow him one school meal a week, have done for years, but lately he is just getting lazier. My husband makes himself a packed lunch and will do our son his rolls too. I worry he's not eating enough as he often picks at the meals I prepare and will make something himself later *rolls eyes*

If you don't address this directly now as a responsible parent, it will be a habit that remains for life and will only compromise his health (I speak from personal experience). Bear this wisdom in mind:

sheramber

My teenagers wouldn't eat veg so , every weekend, I made a large pot of lentil soup with veg in, , or chicken broth .  I processed the veg until  very small so there were no lumps of veg in it.

My two helped themselves to some soup when they came in from school. That way they got some veg  and it didn't spoil their appetite for dinner later.

They were given a sum of money each week to cover  pocket money , including buying lunches normally bought at the local bakers etc. 

Breakfast didn't happen in our house.  I never ate it as a child and neither my husband or myself ate it as adults. We ate something at our morning break. 

One son eats breakfast but the other doesn't eat until  his morning break at work.

Archergirl

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

BungalowBel

I would just like to say that many years ago I was a school dinner lady and many of the pupils would come into the dining room, open their lunch box and tip it in the bin without even unpacking it.

Then go and buy chips.

If he can't be bothered to make his own lunch then I would not do it for him, just give him the equivalent of what lunch boxes would cost and let him get his own.

It is just wasting food otherwise.

kezzygirl

Archergirl said:

Is he a healthy weight, how much money do you give him and what does he spend it on?

I wouldn't pander to him so much he seems to be a bit pampered, will he expect a wife to wait on him like you do? Really he needs to learn to do stuff for himself does he even realise how much you do for him do you think?

No he doesn't realise how much I do and does take things for granted. I'm not having him starve at school because he didn't do his packed lunch. He is very independent in the kitchen and can easily cook himself a meal with Confidence. It's the packed lunch where he falls down. Tbh rolls and sarnies every day doesn't do anything for me either. But he is definitely not a salad person or any other cold meal that I could give him. He is slim build (28 waist) and 5ft 10/11, he has the build of the men on my side of the family. He would spend about 2.50 a day maybe £3

kezzygirl

BungalowBel said:

I would just like to say that many years ago I was a school dinner lady and many of the pupils would come into the dining room, open their lunch box and tip it in the bin without even unpacking it.

Then go and buy chips.

If he can't be bothered to make his own lunch then I would not do it for him, just give him the equivalent of what lunch boxes would cost and let him get his own.

It is just wasting food otherwise.

I have caught him binning his lunch before. Interestingly he never brings the rubbish home, but always used to, which leads me to believe he's binning it.