Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friends gift my only child more money since they each have two kids?

Benthebadger

As each child is to receive the same amount of money, what is the point of each of you going through a "transaction" (doesn't sound like a gift tbh) like that. Save yourselves the energy and agree to put the money in your own child's account instead. Or say it's time to stop these presents completely. 
None of this is in the Christmas spirit anyway, nor that of friendship really.

Nosyrosiedo

why care why are you gifting anyway? £300 why?
I just don’t get this gifting madness

Cambsmum

Why not agree to not give presents at all? If it is causing problems agree to do something else instead. Swop individual
  presents for a family secret Santa. Or maybe agree to each give your own children a gift from the group. Everyone chip in and buy a charity gift. A goat for Africa!

gerispringer

This is ridiculous. Just agree no presents and put whatever you save into your own child’s account. 

MsMoon

Sloop1954 said:

She's still got friends?

And what kind of friends are they? She has a point - they are getting double the amount she is getting and who's to say they will realy put it away fro their kids>

MsMoon

Not sure why so many posters are having a go at the OP - she will be giving double the amount than the others so she has a point. And how do they know some parents aren't just going to use it for themselves?
The whole idea is mercenary - I would opt out. She and the other parents should use their own money on their own kids, how they feel fit. 
Instead, suggest they all have a joint party for the mums and kids instead and all contribute to that equally by providing the food or splitting the cost - the kids would enjoy that much more. If the other parents don't agree then find new friends - do you really want to be stuck in a situation where you are handing out ever increasing wads of cash to each other for the next ten years?

MsMoon

ripongrammargirl said:

I just don’t get it. Each child is getting £30 so this just cancels out getting it back for your own child! Why not just give your own child the £30 and forget everyone else’s? The way this is worded makes it sound like this £30 per child is going into the household budget and not into a savings account for the child, which is why you are whining about “is this fair as my child only gets £30 and not £60 like the other families’ two children!!”
Keep the £30 and put it in your child’s account. Charity starts at home so look after your own and forget others’ children as this is obviously causing negative feelings/jealousy. Why did you all agree to this if you feel like you (not even your child) is losing out because they have no sibling? It’s just a weird thought process. Keep your cash and do an activity with the children and adults, that all will enjoy, such as a festive pantomime…. Or will that cause more friction because the friends with 2 children have to pay more for the seats than you with one child?!!! Sounds crazy when it’s phrased like this, doesn’t it?

Firstly she is right - she is literally handing out double the amount and how do you know for sure the other parents will put it away for their kids and not just use it themselves? It's not a weird thought process at all as she is spending double the amount of CASH - we are not talking two cupcakes instead of one. I agree with your idea about a pantomime - everyone can buy their own kids tickets - why does everything have to be pooled like some silly society?

Happykathy

MSE_Laura_F said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My five friends and I are all parents and we get each other's children Christmas gifts. This year we've agreed not to buy toys, but to give each child £30 for their junior ISAs instead. I have one child, while my five friends each have two - if we go through with this, I'll be spending £300 on their children while our household will only get £150 from them. Should I ask my friends to each give my child £60?

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What a silly question!  They have 2 kids to provide for & you only have one.  The answer is NO.

missdeke

When my kids were young, all the parents decided between them whay they could afford to pay, all the cash was put in a pot and the total amount was divided by the number of children and thet was the amount spent on all the kids.  Luckily we had an organiser amongst us who used to sort out the whole thing.

Agent57

"This year we've agreed not to buy toys, but to give each child £30."    - You didn't have to agree.

How old are these "Children"?   Surely the joy is in watching young children enjoying the toys given?  (call me old-fashioned)

 I would just say "No" but realise it is a lot easier to say no on a forum than in real life when surrounded by people that make well-intended but daft choices.  Be quick with saying no as once you start it will be hard to back out half way through when some children have received money and some have not.  

Asking them to give more is not the answer.