Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friends gift my only child more money since they each have two kids?

poik

The clue is in the word 'gift'. Shouldn't be any obligation either way and teaching children to be thankful for any and every gift because someone gave them a gift no matter what it is is increasingly important. 

sclare

I'm ignoring the actual question in the OP, because the more obvious response is: 'What a pointless exercise'.
The kids don't get to open anything, and as another poster said, you're all just passing money around until you get your own back. 

Just say to your friends "Why are we even doing this? We might as well all put money on it own kids' accounts. There's nothing remotely Christmasy about what we're doing"

biogenetics

As a non drinker, I often opt out of rounds and say I’ll buy my own drinks.

Nobody gets upset about this, they just accept it.

if you aren’t happy with the arrangement then just back out of it. I’m sure your friends will understand if they are real friends.

I’d also add that I make this point often about Christmas.

instead of spending £20-30 on x 10 of stuff my family can all live without, why don’t we spend £300 on something we could actually want or do something with like all the things we always want to buy or need to upgrade. Could be a new sofa or tv, but we never seem to be able to justify it, yet the amount people who spend the equivalent amount of money on random nonsense that will be eaten broken or discarded by new year astonishes me when there could be things in their life they would gain much more enjoyment or use from.

Groom

No, the money is per child, not per family or per household. Why should your child end up with double what the other children get? The best thing is to drop the idea and just give a small present then you can add what you would have spent to your own child's ISA. 

keithyno.1

What a ridiculous idea this is all round. You've got parents effectively swapping money to put in their children's junior ISA's??! 

It's completely bonkers - the children are hardly going to feel like they've received a present from all the other parents at Christmas are they, unless each parent shows them the increased balance in their ISA's on their online banking or something (what a thrill THAT would be for them on Christmas morning - not!!)

Just opt out of it altogether and then put whatever amount you want to into your own child's ISA. If the other parents take umbrage at this, well tough for them. You'd have all been better to come to a 'no presents pact' to start with.

Ckirk631

I get your dilemma. I find it annoying at Christmas and birthdays, I only have one child. And for example my brother in law has 4 children, so I have to get them each a Christmas present and birthday present, and I get back a present worth around £10 for my son. 

I would suggest the idea of opting out of the idea completely and just suggest for everyone to put what they can in their own child’s account.

gloriouslyhappy

Madness! Each family puts whatever they want in their children’s ISAs, and you all exchange a homemade gift, eg a batch of brownies, which is for the whole family. Sorted!

Really, the whole ‘gifting’ thing has got way out of hand.

Ree73

You could suggest that you don’t give any money and that you all put what you would have spent in your own children’s ISA’S. It would be more straightforward for each parent to do this rather than send money for numerous children, receive numerous payments for their children then have to transfer it. This way it’s one transaction for each parent. 

Gosportmum

What's the point if its 'just' cash? Each family could pay in what they can afford to their own child/ ren's ISA instead.
Why not all meet up for a friends group day out over the Xmas period.  

guyjpjones

V tricky , I had to think long and hard, then I think I have it.

 go for IVF get triplets and then think how much financially better off you will be. “Simples.”