Money Moral Dilemma: Should we still give our son £1,000 instead of a puppy?

jenthom72

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Our son and his girlfriend wanted a Labrador puppy, so we bred our Labrador, with the idea we'd give them one of the pups and sell the rest for £1,000 each. Our elder son didn't want a dog, so we promised him £1,000 instead. Yet after they were born, our younger son decided he wanted a retriever instead. I still want to give our elder son £1,000 as it's not his fault his brother changed his mind, but my wife thinks we should put it towards a family holiday, so we're still treating them equally. What would you do?

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I would not give the £1000 to any of your children. Donate it instead to an animal rescue charity as they need the money because there are too any people breeding dogs that end up unwanted. Sadly, too many dogs end up getting euthanised because of too much breeding by irresponsible owners.

Lorelli

Marcon said:

I'd stop agonising over things which really aren't dilemmas. Give them each whatever one of the pups sells for.

Well it IS a dilemma isn't it. There are so many option and husband says give noone anything!

Lorelli

A promise is a promise. If you've told son he's getting £k you should follow through. As for irresponsible son, maybe offer to pay for something pet related eg cost of retriever, vet bills etc. He doesn't deserve anything really but this would be my middle ground. 
If noone knows about the cash idea, keep schtum. 

kimwp

You should keep the £2000 to help look after these puppies that you have brought into the world and should now look after until the.ends of their lives 

Numby

Give them both £1000 or give them both nothing

primrose_penguin

Your younger son has a girlfriend, so must be of an age when he should be responsible, however by changing his mind he comes across as being rather irresponsible, there is very little difference between a Labrador and a Retriever apart from the length of their coat, I wonder whether he is grown up enough to have a dog at all at the moment. You have obviously made quite a bit of money breeding from your Labrador so you should honour your promise to your elder son and give him the £1,000. I don't know what to say about your younger son except I think you need to have a chat with him about being more accountable, but you need to treat both your sons the same, even though one does not deserve it, and give them both £1,000. I hope you will think twice before breeding from your Labrador again as there are enough dogs needing homes in rescue centres.

twopenny

I'm a little shocked that your son should think he needs a dog, is picky about the breed and changed his mind.

Surely he's going to get whatever he thinks of next and in a few months decide that's not what he wanted or a dog is too much work and the poor thing is shunted to another home. He definitely isn't ready for the responsibility.

Or was he, by changing his mind thinking you'd give him a thousand to get another dog and then pocket the money.

Any reason he couldn't get a Retreiver from the Retreiver Rescue? https://www.sgrr.org.uk/ there are puppies too.

Are they both at home to look after a puppy? Ready for the chewing and training?

As for the money to your other son - no I don't think so. 

Not sure why it was offered in the first place. Cash is very different from a puppy.

JayD

taper said:

Yes I would still give it to him as promised. As you now have an additional puppy to sell I would give the other son £1000 to put towards the retriever, which also keeps it fair.

Absolutely!

saajan_12

Re older son, A promise isn't a contract, and assuming he didn't made any life decisions in anticipation of the £1000, you don't owe him anything. There is a reason why gifts are not enforceable, because why should the older son get something for nothing. 

Re younger son, you had offered a dog, if he's now changed his mind on a whim and will result in another dog needing to find a home (who knows if you'll be able to sell them) then he shouldn't be rewarded for this by getting £1000 instead. 

OP went through teh expense and work of looking after dog's birth (unfortunately there's no actual reward for the dog) so OP should get the benefit of any sales proceeds. Perhaps the price can be lowered to prioritise finding a good home for the puppies, rather than giving away money to the sons. 

Abbafan1972

I haven't read through all the pages, as this really saddens me how these poor dogs have been bred and they are just being treated like any other possession.