Money Moral Dilemma: Should we still give our son £1,000 instead of a puppy?

maddogwoman

I am sick of parents pandering to their children's WANTS. They seem to want the world but very rarely do they seem to want to work or pay for their desires, just expect everything to be handed to them on a plate and you are just reinforcing that in your sons!  If you can afford to just give your elder son £1000 for doing absolutely nothing apart from NOT wanting a dog then you are just showing them they dont actually have to do anything in this life for themselves. No wonder the Country is in such a state. As for your younger son who wanted the puppy but has now changed his mind.  I am not surprised he has changed his mind as he obviously knows whatever he wants he will get handed to him on a plate. He is quite clearly not responsible enough to have any sort of dog let alone a puppy and will no doubt change his mind again in the not too distance future. Another poor dog will no doubt end up in a rescue having to be looked after, in addition to the unnecessary breeding of your poor labrador.

Groom

Yes, you promised your son £1000, it isn't his fault that his brother changed his mind. Presumably you sold the extra puppy so you can then give that to the other son to buy the dog he wants. You wont be any the worse off. Perhaps the worrying thing is that, unless you are already registered breeders, you did this and that your son, knowing that was what you were doing, suddenly decided against having that breed of puppy. 

Cheekymonk

Your sons should consider themselves very fortunate! Perhaps donate the money to an animal shelter or charity instead?

Southendormargate

Dogs are living animals. Not property to be bought and sold. You should be banned from keeping dogs.

DillyDB

I would make your obviously spoiled younger son give you £1k and you pass it on to the older son who was promised it and didn’t do anything wrong. Then stop pandering to what are apparently young adults who need a lesson in how the world doesn’t revolve around what they do or don’t want. 

Pinkocean

I agree with one of the references made about you breeding your dog so your son could have a puppy and then changed his mind , I’m just wondering why you would breed your dog for this reason surely your son could have gone and bought a dog elsewhere, the money is actually irrelevant that you promised…

[Deleted User]

Putting aside the obvious animal welfare issues here, you mention your youngest son is married, so clearly neither of your sons are children any longer. I can scarcely believe that an adult would change their mind about wanting one of the puppies you had specially bred for him after they were born. I also find it astonishing you felt the need to offer your other adult son the equivalent value of the puppy in cash. My own children were brought up to realise that life isn’t always 100% fair 100% of the time, so I’m sorry to say you may have made a rod for your own backs. They should both understand by this age that either may need financial help at any separate point in time. However, by giving both of them money whenever just one of them needs it - apart from being the wrong way to go about things - means you are doubling up on your expenditure every time! 

I don’t wish to sound harsh but your younger adult son does sound rather impulsive, and if his older brother was expecting to be compensated from the outset, this too is unreasonable behaviour from an adult. Obviously your younger son is short of money, which is why you offered to breed a puppy for him. However, instead of this my advice to anyone in your situation would have been to lend some money to him to buy his own puppy, on the strict understanding he would pay you back in manageable instalments. That way you wouldn’t be facing the problem regarding whether to pay his brother the equivalent amount.

I have no doubt you are very kind-hearted parents, but sadly this is exactly what has led to the predicament you are in. Maybe you need to toughen up a bit with your sons. 

Good luck!

butterfly25

Wow I really hope this is made up and we don't actually share the planet with people like this. The only thing I agree with is trying to treat two sons fairly, everything else I strongly disagree with morally.

I agree with other comments re there are already so many dogs in rescue needing new homes, and I don't think someone who can change their mind after puppies are born is even 0.01% ready for the responsibility of owning a pet.

To me, these sound like incredibly spoilt sons who have everything handed to them and may not necessarily understand the importance of responsibility and consequences. If this was me, my dog would already be neutered and I'd make sure I educate my sons on how to look after pets. Then when I think he's ready, I'd point him to dog rescues and cover the adoption fee as an early birthday/Christmas present, with the other son receiving a similar value gift come his turn.

At this stage, if it were me I would pick up some pet education for the younger son who is clearly not ready for a pet yet, find the puppies loving homes, neuter the dog and donate all earnings to an animal charity - who in my opinion are the only ones deserving of the money.

flaneurs_lobster

A grand for each puppy? Forget the kids, I'd be getting that labrador up the duff again pronto! 

elsien

Southendormargate said:

Dogs are living animals. Not property to be bought and sold. You should be banned from keeping dogs.

Legally, that’s exactly what dogs are. Property.

Given that there is no evidence at all that they are mistreating their dogs or breaking any laws on what basis should they be banned from keeping dogs? 

Moral objections to breeding not relevant,