Adult Child - Fair Rate for Board

saajan_12

kimwp said:

saajan_12 said:

Its not just about the incremental costs compared to if son wasn't there, as I suspect OP wasn't necessarily struggling for the money. Its more about responsibility and everyone paying their fair share. 

If two people were thinking of going somewhere by cab, if A can afford it alone and it costs nothing extra due to B then why should B pay anything.. well because they're both working, both want the mutual benefit of going together, so both can pay a decent share. 

In this case, the way I'd approach is 
1. Optional costs -  should be solely paid by son, or he can stop using them - eg hobby should be paid directly so it metally comes off the total that "mum's taking". Car should be kept separate and if he disagrees with the cost he's welcome to buy his own or take public transport. 

2. Board - be open about where this number comes from, so he doesn't need to 'find' and elec bill as if its evidence.. remind him the £400 is based on a reduced comparable rent he'd pay elsewhere. He is welcome to live here or elsewhere, but this is the price for here. Its intentionally not just the cost incurrs eg elec or food, but also includes his contribution to living in the space (repairs, rent, etc). 

But if it's a parent sharing with a child, it's different etiquette to two "equals" sharing. If you can't afford a house share, you don't have a share in the house and wouldn't expect the others to cover for you. But many young adults today are are living at home to save money, presumably paying less than they would in a house share.

Right, and there is a significant subisdy. I never said an equal share. But still a decent contribution, which is more than just the incremental leccy and food usage, with the parent paying everything they were before.   

DevilsAdvocate1 said:

 I wanted him to no only cover his expenses but to pay a realistic amount to get him used to the responsibility.  I researched rooms to rent in our area and the range was £450 (for a very small room) up to £700 (a larger room than he has) a month.  None were en-suite.

We negotiated and settled on £400 which I was putting away, intending to give it to him as a lump sum when he left home..  

OP said the comparables for rent are £450-700, which may include bills but certainly wouldn't include food, toiletries, etc. So OP is charging under the bottom figure £400 for all that. 

kimwp

saajan_12 said:

kimwp said:

saajan_12 said:

Its not just about the incremental costs compared to if son wasn't there, as I suspect OP wasn't necessarily struggling for the money. Its more about responsibility and everyone paying their fair share. 

If two people were thinking of going somewhere by cab, if A can afford it alone and it costs nothing extra due to B then why should B pay anything.. well because they're both working, both want the mutual benefit of going together, so both can pay a decent share. 

In this case, the way I'd approach is 
1. Optional costs -  should be solely paid by son, or he can stop using them - eg hobby should be paid directly so it metally comes off the total that "mum's taking". Car should be kept separate and if he disagrees with the cost he's welcome to buy his own or take public transport. 

2. Board - be open about where this number comes from, so he doesn't need to 'find' and elec bill as if its evidence.. remind him the £400 is based on a reduced comparable rent he'd pay elsewhere. He is welcome to live here or elsewhere, but this is the price for here. Its intentionally not just the cost incurrs eg elec or food, but also includes his contribution to living in the space (repairs, rent, etc). 

But if it's a parent sharing with a child, it's different etiquette to two "equals" sharing. If you can't afford a house share, you don't have a share in the house and wouldn't expect the others to cover for you. But many young adults today are are living at home to save money, presumably paying less than they would in a house share.

Right, and there is a significant subisdy. I never said an equal share. But still a decent contribution, which is more than just the incremental leccy and food usage, with the parent paying everything they were before.   

What's your reasoning for that?