Keeping track in 2008

ZTD

Mupeteer wrote: »

There is every chance that I'm just prolonging the agony but I'm going to meet him at 3.30 ao we can talk. If this doens't work I'm going to go to pieces.

No you're not - you're going to be strong. He's not the whole of your life. You need to find out what he has to offer, and what you are willing to offer.

If you are nothing without him, then you have nothing to offer - so be strong.

Mupeteer

I didn't think it was possible but I feel even worse now. Sobbing tothe point where I could be sick. I just want everything to end. I don't want to have to think about things anymore.

ciarasdreams

Although you will end up with red eyes and blotchy skin as a result crying and crying and then crying some more is probably the best thing that you can do for now but whatever you do just do not start drinking alcohol on your own no matter how bad you feel because it will just make things worse. When you have cried yourself hoarse pack an overnight bag and go to your sisters house and stay there for the night even if you end up sleeping on the floor it will be better than being on your own.

ZTD

Mupeteer wrote: »

I didn't think it was possible but I feel even worse now. Sobbing tothe point where I could be sick. I just want everything to end. I don't want to have to think about things anymore.

Babe :grouphug:

Go to a friend or your sister and just take time for things to settle down. It's a cliche, but time is best.

:grouphug:

boredofbeingathome

Listen to all that wonderful advice, another cliche which has worked for me in the past is that as one door closes another one opens. Please look after yourself and get some tlc from your sister and everyone on this site. You are a strong person and you will find a way to overcome all of this.xxxxxxxx

Toto

Oh sweetie, hop on a train to my house and I'll ply you with fizzy wine and tissues.

break ups are the worst thing most of us have to deal with, they hurt like hell and to begin with the best thing to do is cry and talk.

When I split with the significant ex it was torture, not only did i have to deal with the usual pain of it all, but everywhere I went his face was in the paper or on tv. I couldn't escape, and that was just what I needed to do. So, I became a slob, didn't get dressed for days, ate nothing and pretty much drank tesco dry. But, day by day I made myself do one thing, pay some bills, get some food in, clean a room. In other words start to take control of my life again.

And, in time my ex came back, as in my experience they always do, but by that time I was so much in control I was able to see just how bad he was for me and why splitting up was actually the best thing for me. To this day, almost 4 years on I still get the I love you texts which make me smile. Somehow by getting strong I became the biggest regret of his life and I secretly love that.

So, the point to all of that was, today is the day to acknowledge your feelings, don't ignore them or try to mask them with booze and being busy. let yourself have a good old sob. Then when you are ready start to deal with life again, bit by bit, but only the real things, the things you can control. Worries about future children aren't going to help right now, because the future hasn't happened yet, that's something to worry about in 10 years.

Hugs honey, but I do promise that nothing lasts forever, and this pain too will pass.

red74

Unfortunately I can't offer you any more than what's been said by other posters today, so just wanted to send you big hugs. x

Snaggles

Awww Mupeteer, I am so sorry ((hugs))).

You seem to have been through such a lot recently, and there has been so much pressure on your relationship.

Me and my husband seperated very temporarily recently, after a long 'difficult patch' that we just couldn't seem to get through. He went to stay with a friend for a while and it was the most gut-wrenchingly awful thing I have ever been through.

All I can really say is just allow yourself the time to feel sad, to cry, to get angry....if you don't acknowledge those feelings, they will eat away at you. With each day that passes it will get a tiny bit easier though, and you will find yourself coping with things a little bit better.

Keep talking to us hun, that's what we are here for. And don't worry about the children issue, you honestly have LOADS of time - there are lots of women giving birth in their 40s and beyond, and they will come along when the time is right.

I don't know what else to say really, as others have said though, I only wish you were nearer so I could pop round with a bottle of wine and Dirty Dancing on dvd.

Mupeteer

I took a couple ofNytol earlier to get away from it for a while. Now I'm awake and it hurts seeing the empty spaces where his things should be as much as it hurts to see the stuff he hasn't taken yet.

I didn't go to uni today and I don't think I'll be up for it tomorrow either but if I don't go I'll get hassle from my tutor.

It just feels as if my whole world has been blown apart.

red74

Oh hon I feel for you :grouphug:

You may not really feel ready for it yet, but why not try rearranging things a bit (or even a lot) so the gaps aren't so obvious - a bit like ZTD's suggested spring clean.

When Oh and I split up I was a total mess and could barely stop crying for about 3 days (and I will never be able to thank my work colleagues enoough for their support back then), after that I felt mentally and physically like I'd been hit by a bus, basically up until we got back together again. If we hadn't got back together I don't know how long it would have taken for me to fully get over it but I do know that the horrible, acute pain you are feeling now will start to move on and you will too.

And I understand how you feel about the having kids issue. I was 31 at the time and it was also a major concern of mine. But it's worth bearing in mind that you could just as easily found yourself in a relationship with someone you love dearly, but who doesn't want kids, or at least for the foreseeable future. Then you have to start making tough decisions about what matters most to you, and it's not necessarily an easy choice.

Keep strong xx