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Keeping track in 2008
Comments
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I'm furious and upset and have tears streaming down my cheeks. I've found out why BF went grumpy and guess what? It's all my fault! We went to the hospital to see his sister tonight and, as usual, she started on him. Tonight she was taking the pi** about him having another bump in the car. He just stood and took it so I said that it was just one of those things and his head isn't in the best place at the moment. There was no tone to it and that is honestly all I said.
Now she has been on to her dad then my BF asking what's wrong and why was I snippy with her. Now I'm the one at fault and BF is angry because he says I was snippy. I have gone over it and over it in my head and I honestly feel I have done nothing wrong. I got upset then and left the room. He hasn't bothered to come and see if I'm ok or to try and talk more. Guess I've been tried and convicted already.
I am so hurt - after everthing I have done for her and especially as BF really knows what she is like.
So no sleep last night and another crap one tonight by the looks of things. Just can't stop crying. Totally fed up with all of this.Reality check - hit rock bottom on 15 Dec 2008 with unsecured debts of £29,136 and not enough money to live on
:j NOW DEBT FREE!!!! :jI try to take life one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once
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Just wanted to send you a big (((hug))) Mupeteer. It's not easy when you feel so hurt and let down by the person who is supposed to love you ([strike]been there, done that[/strike] am there, doing that). You do really need to find a time when you are both calm and discuss it, because he doesn't sound to be taking your feelings into account at all in any of this.
Hope you have a better nights sleep xxx"I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough.":smileyhea97800072589250 -
I've just caught up with this thread, jeez you've been having a bit o a tough time! I hope you and BF are able to get things sorted, sometimes you just need a bit of time to cool down. Things are said in the heat of the moment but might not be meant.
Anywhoo, i'll keep my eye on your thread to see how you are getting on
Take care0 -
Well I managed to get some sleep after taking 2 Nytol. Then I slept in. Was supposed to take BF to work but would have been late if I'd done that so he got a lift from my BIL and ran out the door. So not much of a thaw overnight.
Made it to school but looked like crap due to rubbish sleep, too much crying and no time for a shower (yeuch!). Managed to get through the day all right but I'm not looking forward to seeing BF. I know that whenever we try to talk about it I'll get upset again - the happy pills don't seem to be working properly at the moment. Can't be arsed with another night of crying and feeling crap.Reality check - hit rock bottom on 15 Dec 2008 with unsecured debts of £29,136 and not enough money to live on
:j NOW DEBT FREE!!!! :jI try to take life one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once
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Now she has been on to her dad then my BF asking what's wrong and why was I snippy with her. Now I'm the one at fault and BF is angry because he says I was snippy. I have gone over it and over it in my head and I honestly feel I have done nothing wrong. I got upset then and left the room. He hasn't bothered to come and see if I'm ok or to try and talk more. Guess I've been tried and convicted already.
I am so hurt - after everthing I have done for her and especially as BF really knows what she is like.
So no sleep last night and another crap one tonight by the looks of things. Just can't stop crying. Totally fed up with all of this.
:grouphug:
She knows your driving a wedge between you and BF upsets you more successfully than calling you to your face - so she does that.
The reason that she is upsetting you, is that you are more compliant when you're upset. You hate being "at fault", even when it is obvious that the fault isn't yours, and I guess you "try harder" to try to make things up.
The XOH used to be like that with me. She always accused me of "doing nothing in the house". So one day, I started doing nothing. "What are you doing?" - "Nothing, like I always do."
So I went from working quite a bit and "doing nothing" - to sitting on my arrse, and doing "a bit less than [her]". Funny how that works.
I would suggest (though you're probably not going to like it), that you tell your BF that he gets a grip. He tells her to stop causing trouble, or the kid goes back to either her or the Social. And if your BF chooses her over you again, then he can go and live with her.
If you choose the way you are going, either one of them will choose to make your life miserable in order to get what they want - that's not a good way to live.
In the the beginning of my relationship with the XOH, and got very upset at times and was "too soft" - at the end I was "too hard". Funny how that works."Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
sorry to hear what's been happening, and after you've helped out so much and worried so much about your BF's sister and baby. Some people are just never grateful and can't see what others are doing for them. They are so unhappy themselves they can only manage to try and make others unhappy as well.
Hope the children at school have been behaving and youget a good nights sleep.0 -
I really appreciate all the support I'm getting from everyone on here. Sometimes it needs someone looking in from the outside to give a bit of perspective.
Latest is:
Her son has now gone to stay with his gran (easier for school and things);
BF and I haven't discussed the other night. Both pretending everything is ok but, in reality, he has totally disappeared into himself;
I missed school yesterday after waking up with a migraine (no doubt induced by everything else that's going on);
BF has been invited to cinema on Friday night with her and her son (that'll be so they have transport i.e MY car).
TBH I've had enough of it all. I'm really sorry for everything she has had to go through but we've all had crap in our lives. Doesn't mean we get to take it out on others. I doubt I will be visiting her any time soon. If BF wants to go, fine. I'm not going to pander to her demands and moods anymore. I've got my own stuff to deal with. Sure, I still feel selfish but there comes a point when you have to put yourself first.
Fingers crossed that I can stick with it.:oReality check - hit rock bottom on 15 Dec 2008 with unsecured debts of £29,136 and not enough money to live on
:j NOW DEBT FREE!!!! :jI try to take life one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once
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Her son has now gone to stay with his gran (easier for school and things);
Is this the banned gran?BF has been invited to cinema on Friday night with her and her son (that'll be so they have transport i.e MY car).
You have been invited for a girlie night in that you told him about *aggggggeeeeesssss* ago...
With your car.TBH I've had enough of it all. I'm really sorry for everything she has had to go through but we've all had crap in our lives. Doesn't mean we get to take it out on others. I doubt I will be visiting her any time soon. If BF wants to go, fine. I'm not going to pander to her demands and moods anymore. I've got my own stuff to deal with. Sure, I still feel selfish but there comes a point when you have to put yourself first.
You're not being selfish. She's causing a problem. There's loads of people who require assistance, and receive it, and who don't cause a problem.Fingers crossed that I can stick with it.:o
You will. If BF give you any grief, tell him she's causing you two to argue. If he argues say "See.""Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
Is this the banned gran?
The very one. :rolleyes: Guess what? They're best of friends again because the gran is a spineless idiot who wont tell her daughter when she's being ridiculous.
As for the night out, I love the way you think. Wouldn't be plausible though as friends are thin on the ground around here. We've all lost touch through working stupid hours and having demanding BFs.
I wish I was 8 again. I'm sure things were easier then.:oReality check - hit rock bottom on 15 Dec 2008 with unsecured debts of £29,136 and not enough money to live on
:j NOW DEBT FREE!!!! :jI try to take life one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once
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The very one. :rolleyes: Guess what? They're best of friends again because the gran is a spineless idiot who wont tell her daughter when she's being ridiculous.
Like she wants you to be. Just like her mother and brother.As for the night out, I love the way you think. Wouldn't be plausible though as friends are thin on the ground around here. We've all lost touch through working stupid hours and having demanding BFs.
So find something else. Shopping?I wish I was 8 again. I'm sure things were easier then.:o
But you're trading "control" for "ease" - not a good trade under many circumstances."Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0
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