Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

in_need_of_direction said:

Just keep using the forum for whatever works for you.  You are doing so well. Your wife must be particularly proud after watching that show with you.

We spoke about it today and I think she understood it was a hard watch. I know she’s frustrated with me paying so much towards debt and not other things. 

Lonelygambler

bubblycrazy said:

Well done for sharing your thoughts here, and for finding ways to release some of the adrenaline. Could you purchase a punching bag maybe? 

Hi, thanks for this. I’ll be really honest the rush I got from gambling is very hard to replicate. Last night I felt was in the casino. 

Full body rush / took me a long time to regulate. Driving a sports car at 100mph and just missing another car on a track, that  kind of rush. Not good. 

Chasing big wins 1k hands has broken me. Thankfulky I am not gambling and I will be at a year soon. 

Lonelygambler

KeepOnKnitting said:

Last night was really intense for you @Lonelygambler. Sounds like one of the hardest days you have had since starting this journey.

I hope this morning the adrenaline has cleared. It's obvious you love and value your family and are proud of being able to provide them with a safe and stable home.

It was a bizarre hour. So intense. 

Thanks as always checking in. 

Lonelygambler

mark55man said:

well done - one day at a time - hopefully you are due a few easier ones for a while

I wasnt here when you were struggling - but with you in spirit always, and you did it by yourself anyway

Today has been good. The last time I felt like that I had lost 3k after being 2k up. 

Lonelygambler

At the in laws for a few days. Great for the boys and to see cousins etc. 

Currently sat an instavolt charging my car up and having some alone time with a coffee and reading the news. Very rarely use public chargers so this is always a hit on the bank balance. 

Feel much better than yesterday. 

Thanks for the all messages. 

Will do debt round up in a few weeks. Nothing massive to report just ticking over each month. 

£1k! 

mark55man

Its great for the kids to see their cousins - ours were all much of an age with a dozen kids between the 4 combined families.  That worked well for ages and really only stopped when they went off to uni and started leaving the nest.  Still great friends though

Lonelygambler

So today I had some time to myself. No children, no work no jobs no nothing. 

I went to Starbucks had a large coffee and read my book. 

What an afternoon! 

FootyFanDan

Lonelygambler said:

So today I had some time to myself. No children, no work no jobs no nothing. 

I went to Starbucks had a large coffee and read my book. 

What an afternoon! 

It's the simple luxuries we enjoy
I was same last week when waiting for my car service, nice local coffee shop with no noise and just chilled

Lonelygambler

As we approach the end of February which I am grateful for as it’s been a tough one with my history of gambling. Thankfully no gambling has been undertaken and I’m in a good headspace. 

I’ve been paying each month well over £650 a month towards my debt. 

For the first time in year I might have to pay just minimums as I have a few more bills to pay and I don’t want to use my credit card. 

Birthday Party 
New passports x 2 

if I can pay £450 to my MBNA this would take it down to under 2k. 

KeepOnKnitting

Birthday parties and passports sound like positive spends aligned with your values. This is a good prioritisation of your cash. 

I too sometimes forget that paying the minimum is actually good enough.