Money Moral Dilemma: Should I accept an expensive present from my boyfriend who owes me money?

UglyBetty

Agree with amost all previous posters-BIG RED FLAGS in the text - Please, please get out while you can, do you want a partner or a project for life (or until you run out of money). You deserve better.

sstephanie40

I reckon the BF is expecting the bike to be returned for the cash. This is a clever trick, to look like a wonderful human being, even though you both know he's not got any financial maturity. Get wise and get rid or you'll find him constantly doing this and play on your good nature. He's a partner, not a passenger.

WolverineSW11

I would tell him that he needs to sort out what his 'daughters' need and want, there is a big difference between the two.

As for the bicycle, £1.5K, who made it BMW?

As has been said before, tell him to get a refund and make him pay his way, better still give him his marching orders, he is freeloading off you.

bikaga

1. You don't need to be worried about his feelings with this one - he wasn't worried about your feelings regarding the money he owes you.

2. It's way more important that he pays this debt off. If you accept the bike now, prepare for a few years of "I would have paid it off by now but I wanted to do something NICE for you!" Seriously, it's a huge red flag that he spends that much when he's not paid his part of the deposit. He's obviously not 18 and just out of his parents' house if he's got responsibility for multiple children.

3. Never ever set up shared finances with him.

bikaga

HillStreetBlues said:

If you didn't ask for it, is it his way of telling you he thinks you're overweight?

We have the winner of Least Valuable Comment I believe.

[Deleted User]

Let me think, you're with a man who owes money, and to you, although he hasn't any money, he wants to spend on his daughters (don't know how old they are, but they're asking for presents from a man struggling financially?) and instead of paying what he owes, he spends his money on expensive gifts.  Hmmm, I wouldn't have to ask myself this, but if you don't already know, think, is this man a keeper?  Take the bike back as something toward what you are owed, then cut your losses, hope you can afford your rent on your own.

hellosarah

As others have said, massive warning bells going off here. Make him return it and give you the money, not being owed will be present enough. I'd not be able to stay with someone that fiscally irresponsible, too stressful. 

primrose_penguin

No wonder he has financial problems if he spends £1,500 on a bike under the circumstances. It was a nice thought but totally impractical if he owes you money. I think he needs a dose of reality, I would sit him down and ask him to return the bike, get a refund, then he can hopefully pay you what he owes. I would also tell him things have got to change or your relationship will not last, he needs to start living within his means or your life will be a misery if you have to keep bailing him out.

Eileenpamela

For goodness sake, this man probably bought the bike on a credit card. He can’t pay you by credit card for the money he owes you. He probably has enormous credit card debts probably not even meeting minimum payments. 

I have been in a similar situation only my husband and now ex husband bought himself expensive presents on credit cards and equity from my house. They never learn. Make sure you register your finances as separate to his so his creditors don’t come after you.

paulshears

I'm going to be even more blunt than the previous posters. Your biggest problem is not the bike, the debts or your boyfriend. Rather it is your own judgement. 
In order of priorities: 
1. Get this idiot out of your life. 
2. The bike is an asset that can be turned into a small amount of cash to offset some of the your debt. It is very obviously NOT your shared debt! YOU have got to sort this mess out. He is just a detail that magnified YOUR problem. 
3. Move on. You are done here.