Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all, I made soup earlier so that did us all for dinner with some HM croutons (basically torn up bits of bread soaked in oil, parsley and garlic then cooked at 220° for 8 mins) was really good and filling and used up bits in the fridge that were turning.
NSD again 😁😇.
It is proper windy outside, were we expecting a storm? 🌬️
It's quite nice sat with TV off though and just listening to it 😌.

beanielou

Certainly a storm here.First of the year. Amy I think.

debtfreewannabe321

It's still very blowy here...I am sure we live in a wind tunnel 🤣.

DP and I went into town this morning and popped to M&S for a tux. We managed to piece together one for him and paid for it on his business account. He cancelled the hire one. The bought one is expensable the hire one not. So that's that sorted 😁.

Then we popped to gr3ggs as I was feeling a tad hungover. I only had a couple of drinks last night but I hadn't eaten since lunchtime and feeling a bit delicate now because of that 🤢. Once home we opened the post and to my surprise a letter asking ME for child maintenance was sat there. Ex and I had verbally decided to cancel out CMS and maintenance itself as we had one child each. Well ex had made a claim against me. Even though he's not paid anything since July. 🤔 I need to pay him around £40 a month. So anyway I laughed because I thought cheeky beggar. He's gone behind my back to do this. I always told him when I was doing anything. I logged on to my account and found several letters on there to me (I had to reset password I haven't been able to find the old one anywhere and couldn't sign on before now). I saw he should have been paying me £100 per week. For one child. I pay him £10 per week 🤭. So he owes arrears. 
Anyway I messaged him. He got defensive as per. He told me what he thought about CMS (not polite) and told me what he thought was a fair payment going forward (£250 per month) and that's what I should accept. I even offered to write off the debt if we just start payments from Oct. He got moody. I said forget about it then I'll ask for collection payments instead straight out of his wages which will cost him an extra 20% on top. 
The whole deal and arguments for him wanting DS 2 were because he didn't want to pay me any more. Now apparently he owes me two months at least and he will only pay me £80 less than what he was paying me for two kids 🤭. I can't help but think this is a big dose of karma for him. 
He refused to give me his bank details and wants me to pay collection too. Even though I offered to pay him his £40 today. 
He put across £200 into my bank after promises of £250 though so I'm up £200 on the month. 🙂.

debtfreewannabe321

My new cooker has arrived and been plugged in 😃 it looks great and much easier to keep clean than the last one. The cream colour doesn't clash too much with the white/silver handles on the kitchen cupboards. 
It's got lots of shelves too which we didn't seem to have in the last one 🤔. 😃

I had a green chef delivered even though I am certain I paused it. (Third time they've messed up now) But anyway now it's here I'm kinda grateful as it means three dinners for this next week are sorted 🙂. Need to go to the shops tomorrow though as we're out of milk and bread and fruit etc etc. will make a list before I go. 

Going to boost my savings by £100 because the £200 I received today was unexpected anyway. And I feel we have a car bill due very soon because of the work that needs doing on it. Although DP has penned a letter demanding they fix it for free because it was not broken before it went to them. We'll see how far we get with that but in the meantime I will put money aside as a just in case. We can't keep using the CC. 
In fact might send some of the £100 left to the CC to bring the bill down a little. 

KajiKita

So glad the new range has arrived - sounds better than the old one! 😊

Good on DP for writing the letter about the car, definitely sounds worth a try! 

I don’t follow why a bought tux would be expensable but a hired one wouldn’t - surely hired would be cheaper for his employer? 🤷‍♀️ But the key things is, DP is sorted now 👏😊 Does he look dashing and handsome in said Tux? 😊

I don’t know whether it’s just me, but I find all this who-has-to-pay-who-what stuff with child maintenance REALLY confusing … But, the important thing, is that you have a bit of extra cash just when you need it. Thank you Universe 😊😉🤩

KK

beanielou

Your ex is beyond dire. 

Bananabreadyum

Sounds like karma has come right back at him. Serves him right for trying to get money out of you and trying to save on money you deserve. 
Hope his antics didn't spoil your day! 

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you universe indeed KK. I've been awake most of the night feeling stressed about it all though and I feel guilty. My trauma response to my marriage and ex is to always pacify him and let him perceive to be winning over me (so hence I said forget the debt). He has always tried to control me, hence the I think what is fair and reasonable is £250 I will pay you that. I set a boundary which I've not done very often with him and said no I will go to CMS then. And I honestly feel sick now on what the repercussions will be. ☹️ I feel stress in my heart and solar plexus.
I'm going to switch my phone on silent for the rest of the morning and get on with my day. DP said to me why do you care so much about his opinion of you and I can't answer it. I think it's because he's tried and succeeded so many times to make me look crazy, mad, bad, etc and I don't want or need this energy and evil intent in my life any more. 
I'm grateful for the money tbh it means I may be able to quit my job whilst searching for another (or waiting for the fostering - he's left me a bad reference here too I've found out so this might not be a possible route for me). And I'm going to concentrate on the positives but I feel quite sick and stressed by it all. Especially the comments about how I'm being unreasonable and taking away from my DS2 welfare ☹️.

Anyway to keep me busy today - shopping, emptying DS room ready for decorating. Popping to CS to return a dress. And waiting for someone to collect something I'm selling on FB. 

skint_spice

Is he not taking away from DD’s welfare then by trying not to pay? Don’t engage or engage as little as possible, he is trying to maintain a level of control over you, try to give him as little as possible. Easier said than done I know but enjoy your day off.

beanielou

Agree with @skint_spice.