Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

I’d tell him them! 

I pulled him aside at the end instead as I didn't want to embarrass him. I think a few students had been saying things about him having help with things. He's got autism but he's like my DS1 very high functioning and very clever. He's been independent all day and asked for help when needed from tutor and I said to him, I don't want to make any decisions for you, but I think you're capable on your own. Have a little think about whether or not you want my support going forward. He looked relieved and said he would and I told him where to go to state he doesn't need it anymore. He knew all the answers and was flying this afternoon he really didn't need me. As much as I enjoyed one day sat just chilling 🤣 and caught up on paperwork - going forward that's not for me, I like to be busy. Today has dragged!

debtfreewannabe321

One friend at work has handed her notice in. She gives me lifts twice a week and we've become quite friendly. She moans a lot about the job though and it's been really stressful listening to it 🫣 so I'm kinda glad she's leaving it. I think she has enough on her plate dealing with grief and life right now. We'll meet up still and hopefully she will be telling me her new job is going well. 
She will still be there for a few weeks yet though...

The friend I helped get a job where I work is also definitely leaving, she's made her mind up and will probably not be back after this week. She is new so only a week's notice. 

I will be left on my own! (Well....)
I avoid most other staff because of all the sniping and bitching about one another. Life and work is stressful enough without dragging your colleagues down plus Chinese whispers and things always get back to one another. Not for me so I will continue to avoid that I think. 

I had a moan to my friend about the SW doing our fostering forms. I said I (& DP) felt he was trying to put us off. All he kept doing on that call we had was poking us for reactions. I asked her if this is just how it's done and I'll shut up and put up. But she said no he should have been trying to build a rapport as we need to tell him everything about us. I said I didn't feel comfortable sharing absolutely everything with him because he was quite cold and disassociated from our responses. So she's asked someone else take over. I feel awful now though and like a snitch 😬 he's supposed to be coming over tomorrow but DP has tried to cancel him as I feel too awkward now. I knew I shouldn't have said anything 🙈. 

I've booked aqua aerobics for tomorrow morning. The last time I did this I was pregnant and really struggled with it, so hoping it will be easier for me tomorrow.

I'll report back on that one....

Absolutely exhausted as didn't sleep too well last night. Lots of hot flushes and tummy pain (I accidentally ate ginger and I have an intolerance to it). Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

daisy_1571

Don't let your natural politeness interfere with the decision you've already made.  This is an incredibly challenging thing you are lining up to do so its imperative you get on with the social worker as you will be having a lot of contact over the next however long, possibly ten years or more.  You need someone you both like and who likes you.  If he's any sort of professional he will be fine as you won't be the first clients he hasn't gelled with and won't be the last.  Someone else may get on great, you didn't, nothing wrong with that.

We didn't gel with our sw and we weren't allowed to change - so we left the process and got a dog.  Who knows, if they had let us change we'd maybe have 5 adopted kids by now, their loss, our loss, who knows. 

debtfreewannabe321

daisy_1571 said:

Don't let your natural politeness interfere with the decision you've already made.  This is an incredibly challenging thing you are lining up to do so its imperative you get on with the social worker as you will be having a lot of contact over the next however long, possibly ten years or more.  You need someone you both like and who likes you.  If he's any sort of professional he will be fine as you won't be the first clients he hasn't gelled with and won't be the last.  Someone else may get on great, you didn't, nothing wrong with that.

We didn't gel with our sw and we weren't allowed to change - so we left the process and got a dog.  Who knows, if they had let us change we'd maybe have 5 adopted kids by now, their loss, our loss, who knows. 

Thanks for sharing that Daisy, I didn't realise you'd started the process too (I should have guessed as you'd questioned everything we had about the process). My friend has said similar and I hope we get someone a bit warmer next time. I'm sorry you didn't get offered a change. ☹️ I think it helps my friend is a supervisor there ... I wouldn't have known who to complain to otherwise. DP has managed to put him off until next week and I hope by then he's been changed 🙈.

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all, it is POURING with rain here. Has been since I woke up over an hour and half ago, very grey, can't even hear any birds at all today, all in hiding like I will be i think. 

My plan today is exercise class (I'm still not liking exercise 😬👀 I'm hoping this will eventually change). Then I need to clean through the house.
I also want to have a look round and see where I can fit some bookcases. I have lots of books still in boxes and need to find homes for them. 
Once they've been cleared out of DS2 room I can assess the next phase for clearing and cleaning that room before a quick/cheap redecoration. The red walls NEED to go, as does the wall that looks dirty but I think is just the colour of the paint. 

I've messaged DS2 so many times since he's left and he's not responded to anything. He has however read some messages as the grey ticks have eventually turned into blue ones.... Perhaps one day that will turn into a response. He's probably very busy as he's in his GCSE year now and is starting some subjects from scratch 😬...

debtfreewannabe321

Well the rain stopped just as I finished aqua aerobics, which by the way was exhausting 😳😆 I sat in the sauna afterwards for fifteen minutes to get my breath back. I'm already aching too didn't realise (forgot ) it was such hard work 🙈.

Had lunch, will clean up in a bit. My friend has messaged me and they've sorted out another SW for us (very grateful I've got a friend in there but I suppose had she not talked me around to trying it we wouldn't even be doing it).

I've put the TV on and am going to go through my budget in a mo to see where all our money has disappeared to because we've got a fair way to go through the month and we're low on cash already. Will make a plan for next month too whilst I'm at it. 

debtfreewannabe321

Okay I have been through the accounts, it took me a while 

So the EF stands at £245.46
We have across the current accounts around £200 to last until the 1st.

We should have more but this month we bought, a new TV, mattress topper, some DIY bits, new shoes.  
None budgeted for. OOPS> 
We also spent on entertainment, £40, bits for me £40, and home bits £70. 
Food has a running total of £303.44 which is the only thing here I am happy about 😏

Anyhow, we are somehow still in the black. 
I have emptied out the xmas account to pay off things I bought on catalogue, and k1arna. I admit to using shopping ever so slightly as a bit of a distraction this last month 😑 and also bits we bought for the new extension, kitchen etc.

I think we will get through okay.

So next month, I have done the budget- 

Household- £1582.85 (includes gym and all other DDs)
Debts- £354 (kitchen loan and last bit of k1arna for the weekend away and tv)
Groceries- £500
Yearly account- £150
Emergency fund- £100
Christmas/birthday - £150
Petrol - £100
Mortgage Overpayment- £200
Pocket money/ entertainment- £300
Money for half term- £150
=£3586.85 
Meaning we should have some money left as a float too.

Don't feel quite as panicked now. I really need to cut back on frittering money without thought. And I want to build the yearly fund and xmas one back up because both are presently empty

pennywisepoundstupid

Well done on going through your budget, sometimes the scariest part is starting and taking a look. I always feel more in control when everything is written down in front of me in black and white.

KajiKita

The point is you’ve looked at it and have a plan of action to deal with it 😊
And, didn’t you say you are further on with your Christmas shopping than you’ve ever been 👏😊

KK

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks both. I've been trying to book in the odd activity too so we have something to look forward to, so I've had a few spends on things there.
Christmas shopping- I don't think DS is coming home. I have bought him a few bits but I'm going to stop there. 
DD had a car in July so that's her present for birthday and Christmas. I have bought her a few small bits though. DP I bought a phone as his was cracked and he needed a new one. I have already given it to him 🫣 but said it was birthday present. So I just have to buy a few bits for DP, DS 1 for Christmas and I guess that's me done really. I'll probably buy some friends gifts but they won't be much. 

DD said DS had shared a pic on his social media of ex's gf with the tag 'stepmum' and her horse. I am just gobsmacked how a gf can go from zero to taking my place within a year. 😐 DD is equally upset because she's been replaced by two step brothers. Anyway ....

Today I did the ironing 😁.
I also Hoovered and moved a few things around. 
Got some more red tomatoes from the greenhouse. 

Tomorrow I'm hoping will be okay. It's that difficult student 🙄. My friend was with him today and said he was on top form.

Anyway today was a NSD so that's something ☺️ and I also cashed out £45 from a cashback site although it's not hit my bank yet.