Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

No @daisy_1571 you're totally right on all counts.

 I've already spoken to the SW and said the reasons I'd love to help children with fostering BUT I have my own triggers, I have my own trauma and c-ptsd to deal with. I've stated outright I will not be fostering puberty aged kids. It seems to me to be the most challenging (and triggering) and I won't do that to myself. I also won't have children in the house same age as my children. And they said they wouldn't really place any same age as yours anyway usually because of all sorts of safeguarding reasons (for my kids as well as LAC). 
I love the part of my job where I help people and for the most part this is what I do. Make a difference to their emotional state, offering an ear or perspective and a voice of reason to troubled kids, I also like to help them academically and I offer other support to those with disability etc and this is why I'm always drawn back to helping youngsters. I think there is a part of me that always wished there was someone like me when I was their age. 
However our home is my safe space I've already said what I will help with and what I won't. If it's too strict a parameter then I guess I won't get a placement. My friend who works for the company told me to be this strict btw in what I ask for. She's known me since childhood. She knows my traumas. And she knows how the system works. Although she can't take part in this process because of conflict of interest she can help once approved so I know she'll have my back. 100%.

My DS I spoke to him last year when he Was still here and 'ok' with us all about this. So even though he's telling his father right now, I'm being replaced he knows deep down it's not. I can't control what his father says and I have to just release that now.
Working in a team ...I do this already at work most of my students are safeguarding. And LAC. I also did it in a previous job. 

Basically daisy I do not have it in me to have a career like many of you ☹️. I burn out very easily. I've thought many times about returning to uni and just getting my pgce and getting my career. My trauma is deep rooted and I have bouts of being up and down and immunity not good. My triggers are known by me now but they're hard to navigate still.
My mother and both sisters ended up on benefits because they all have c-ptsd and cannot barely function all three barely leaves the house.
So although I do struggle I still keep trying. I know I can't do the usual 9-5 mon-fri but I absolutely thrived as a SAHM because I had plenty of downtime and fun time and could set my own routine for the most part. I also have the support of DP. It is absolutely a 24/7 thing and I doubt anyone goes into this for money alone. If you work it out it is probably pennies for every hour you have them under your roof. It is an income still though and I will be trying to help those in need. 
If it doesn't work out. It doesn't work out.
I'll have at least tried. I'm not sure what else to do or try. Something else would likely come up though and I'll try something else if this fails.

It will literally be written on my headstone. She kept getting back up and trying again and again. Many different paths, some work out, some don't. 🫣🤣

I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out but it would be nice if it did.

I feel the most rewarding job I ever did was bringing my children up until they reached puberty then you kinda step back and aren't needed so much any more (and boys! Omg I find their temper so triggering and hard to navigate ). But still... I ramble but I have thought long and hard over it. I have spoken to my best friend (the one who works there) and asked a hundred questions. And I even dropped it for months and thought about it a lot until I was ready to go for it. Mine and DP view is, what do we have to lose just trying it. Although the process is lengthy it's only time we are giving up. It doesn't cost us anything and we've done lots of useful courses I think (a few useless ones but hey ho) so even If that's all I take away I'm always of the opinion, I learned something from this process and it's what makes my tapestry of life interesting 😊.
Work is temporary I will absolutely not be staying there long term because I feel the students are safeguarded to the hilt. The staff .....not at all. I don't feel safe when students with issues kick off...

Right tip run. So we can clear the carport and also pick up some post from the old house in one journey 🙂. DP is calling me whilst I ramble on here. 

beanielou

As I say ‘Fall down 7 times , stand up 8’. It’s an old Japanese proverb’. ❤️

daisy_1571

Thanks for that dfw, I knew I would only be saying what you'd already thought of but even as a random internet stranger i got an attack of the worries for you so couldn't in all conscience not say

Dxx