Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

KajiKita

That is sounding really tough and that student is a nasty piece of work. I can understand how the dream about DS could be distressing ....

Sending hugs for today - I hope it passes swiftly and you get to have a warm, kind, loving, restorative and fun weekend x

KK  

MeandO

Oh DFW123, sending you the most massive hug. I'm sorry you had to put up with the not-so-nice student and I can imagine how much that dream affected you as I have had similar myself. Please be kind to yourself and look after yourself for the next few days. xx

Watty1

Hoping today is a much better day for you.

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you all, today was actually really nice. All the students were open to me being in their presence. Not all need or want support and I'm fine with that, I can't split myself in twenty but I didn't feel unsafe at any point. But I was aware I had clocked all exits and stayed out of the way of people walking near me all day. I feel calmer today. More regulated.
I had another newbie shadowing me. I'm unsure why I keep being sent them all I am honestly rubbish with paperwork (keeping up with it that is, alright at writing it) and I'm probably not as confident as other long termers. And after yesterday's newbie shadowing me and it all going a bit wrong I was worried it would happen again 🤣 thankfully it was a good day and I looked like I knew what I was doing. Also we were with a group I wanted to be with- arts and creative lot and we were taking pics today up and down the hill, around the castle grounds and in the park and by the old buildings. It was pretty fun and interesting and if this gets taken off me I will !!!!!! cry. Soz about swearing but. ☹️🥺🤣

Weekend. 
Yay.
I intend to de-people. Gym. Eat well. Sleep. Chill. 
Not much else to be honest. Maybe do some of the online safeguarding courses as can stick headphones in and just be in my own zone (really need to regulate my body properly before work on Monday and need alone time). 

Right off to do dinner, we were naughty and stopped at asd@ and got ready cooked rice to reheat, curry sauce, mock meat and poppadoms. I couldn't afford the take away so this was second best choice and has probably cost around a tenner so much cheaper but not the cheapest (considering I am well stocked in herbs and spices to make my own curries). 

debtfreewannabe321

I've done a bit more Xmas shopping this evening. I'm determined to be done like all those organised people I know by December 1st! 
I've ordered some nice advent calendars for DD, DP and myself. I also got my friend one because I know she can't afford it but likes a brand that does one and her birthday is beginning of December so it'll be her birthday present. Got cashback via TCB. Also got all on offers or freebies with the purchase.

I gave DP his birthday present even though his birthday isn't until Nov 🫣🤣 but it's a mobile phone and his is pretty much done in so it's a useful present and something he did need. So yeh, he's had it. Remind me when I go buying more presents when I forget.  🤣
All Xmas presents today came out of Xmas fund. 
Dinner was nice and so much cheaper than takeaway.

Lots of grumble on the work chat. Many people unhappy. Feels like there will be a mass walk out soon 🙈. Anyway snacks and movie time. 

dawnybabes

I buy one of my friends the m and s calendar every year for her birthday at the end of Nov. 

Hope work sit up and notice and try to resolve it, 

debtfreewannabe321

dawnybabes said:

I buy one of my friends the m and s calendar every year for her birthday at the end of Nov. 

Hope work sit up and notice and try to resolve it, 

I got a candle one ....I'm not that fussed by them by she loves them. 😃 So thought it would make a nice present.

I had an awful night sleep, my legs were so sore. Another pair of trainers to.be designated to the bin i think. I might try taking the insoles out and replacing if I can, then maybe I can get more wear from them. I did do a lot of steps the past few days probably averaging 12,000 but my legs are ridiculously sore for that amount. 
I've Also been replaying my Thursday over and over 🙄😒 as my brain likes to do in these situations. And I realised it was the same room, same spot as the last incident with that other student last year who bullied me with his two friends. Also in both rooms and easily accessible - very large knives to hand. It's no wonder my body was going into panic mode. 

Today I've booked swimming for later on in the afternoon. And a lazy day is planned with changing the bed (hopefully it will help me sleep later), bit of washing and drying and pottering around and finding some nice dinner. SO tired today. 😴 I looked on my timetable for next week and once again I have another new starter shadowing me. This will be the third. I'm pretty sure there are other staff members who know more than me and probably explain better than me for training. I always seem to end up with a training role in work (and no extra pay!) and DP said it's because I'm bossy 🙄🤣.ruuuuude. 🤭🤣 he's probably right though I am a bit bossy sometimes. In a nice way.

Won't promise a NSD as I'm going to let spontaneity take the lead today.
Oh and we've got dates for training for the fostering and my friend is doing it! Yay and we haven't got to travel the whole country for it it's just an hour away. That's next month....so if the SW gets his butt into gear we could be ready for starting that role by Jan! 

skint_spice

Glad to hear the fostering is coming along.

daisy_1571

Keeping everything crossed that the fostering process will work out right for you all as a family but im probably going to be just a tiny (!) Internet voice of doom here.....

I'm sure part of the process somewhere will get you to question how it will work if/when your son comes back to live at yours and how his dynamic will affect what could be a troubled youngster living in the house plus the effect of the disruption on your daughter.  Plus the effect of hearing that you've a new person in the house will have on your sons temporarily skewed teenage perspective,  especially taking into account exidiots slant on it and how he'll talk about it with your lad.

The foster folk will likely talk about all the potential issues of those you'll be involved with, foetal alcohol syndrome, same with drugs, issues with lack of food and affection in their early years, you'll have contact with social workers,  perhaps members of the birth family, medical appointments, appointments and phone calls to assess for additional or other things you identify may be affecting the child, depending on your educational authorities you'll probably have to advocate on their behalf for extra time and support during schoolwork and exams etc.  All time consuming and emotionally draining.

I'm only saying this as worst case and I'm sure you've thought it all through already as you work inside the system so knowbit from that perspective but its not easy money as I'm sure you are aware as you'll be perhaps a lone voice trying to get the best for a child you will be emotionally invested in.  And there's likely to be more triggers for you in the child's story.  

Depending on the age you're going for,  you might end up with one of these large lads in your house inviting his mates round to his new home environment. 

Again,  I'm sure you've thought about all of this but its just the thoughts that are occurring to me this morning. 


Lastly, (as if I haven't been  gloomy enough lol) could you spend some time thinking again about your choice of job?  Youve only been back a few days and you are right back into the thick of it.  You seem to be in an almost permanent state of anxiety/ heightened alertness/tension when you are in the job.  Is the good parts of the day really worth living your whole life affected like this?  It impacts on your sleep, your evenings, your weekends.  Whilst you are in effect fighting the after effects of one day and preparing yourself for your next day you cannot possibly be enjoying your evenings and weekends with your family in a relaxed open manner.  I'm not wording it well but you know what I mean I hope.

Sorry, I'm picking on all the issues and potential issues today, must be my mood today 😆.  And of course you don't have to answer any of this here, just a few points for you to think about or discard as you see fit

Dxxxx

pennywisepoundstupid

daisy_1571 said:

Lastly, (as if I haven't been  gloomy enough lol) could you spend some time thinking again about your choice of job?  Youve only been back a few days and you are right back into the thick of it.  You seem to be in an almost permanent state of anxiety/ heightened alertness/tension when you are in the job.  Is the good parts of the day really worth living your whole life affected like this?  It impacts on your sleep, your evenings, your weekends.  Whilst you are in effect fighting the after effects of one day and preparing yourself for your next day you cannot possibly be enjoying your evenings and weekends with your family in a relaxed open manner.  I'm not wording it well but you know what I mean I hope.

Just wanted to highlight what daisy_1571 has said, I worked in education for nearly 20years and those last few years were hell, the best thing I ever did was get out and I am like a totally different person even with perimenopause  .

Hope everything works out with fostering and enjoy your weekend xx