Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

Watty1 said:

fabulous advice.  I drifted into what i do now.  I seem to be good at it.  before I did this I worked in sales and before that in hotel contracting for a tour operator. I think it is called a 'portfolio career'    I've never had a direction but it all worked out in the end, so, KK is right none of that "no direction" and I really hope you have a fab half term

I feel like lots of people seem to have no direction.....DP didn't either and it was only when we sat down and pulled out what he enjoyed about all the past jobs that we curated a job description that we put out to the universe....it turned out he got a meeting by accident with his current boss and kind of pitched to him the qualities he had that the boss went away and actually made this job for DP because there was a need for it in the industry... I am amazed I am able to help others do this and yet cannot do it for myself my weakness right there.....!

debtfreewannabe321

Bargainhunter30 said:

My Mum told me at 60 that she'd finally found out what she wanted to be - Retired!!! I'm the same as you DFW, no idea what I want, kids have taken priority over career and I've drifted from terrible job to terrible job. I've just applied for a job as a part time lecturer in a college, it's double what I earn now after really not valuing my worth, like you. Is that something you could consider? 

A lecturer the other day was trying to convince me of the teacher training route in college....I feel such a resistance to it and I don't know why. I think I need to meditate on this. It is the natural route that I seem to be primed for and have already done half the training for. However, retired sounds far more up my street..........just another two decades to go  

debtfreewannabe321

CrazyBee787 said:

ooh Happy half term from me also. Enjoy the rest. A lot of people have said to me why not do something different, well maybe the best course of action is do the same but with a better environment? Is there somewhere else doing the same job a possibility? but hopefully better behaved kids?

I just don't know....the job is easy. A little too easy. I feel like without the challenging behaviour and safeguarding issues and emotional stuff going on it would be very boring. 

I can't believe i just said that............. 🤔😯

debtfreewannabe321

LadyWithAPlan said:

Happy half term. 

Maybe you could do the morning pages? Journal each morning three A4 pages long hand and then throw away.... it helps to bring things up to the surface and you can muse on next career moves...

So.....I was just watching Rich House, Poor House (I think that was the name of it) and there were many people in them of all walks of life but I noticed a recurring theme through the Rich House occupants. They were disciplined. Many were visualisers, and dreamers, and were down with this manifesting like I am... as I was watching it I thought to myself, I need to return to that. When DP came along he moved in very quickly and we lived in such small confines I dropped all my personal habits like morning meditations, journalling etc. We had no private space and we were under each other's feet all day long with the kids (we went straight into lockdowns when he moved in)...I never ever got back to it. I must. And I think I am going to have to set a boundary with DP about my own personal space. I don't like to meditate and visualise with people around me, It is a safety thing for me, I can't allow myself to go into trance with bodies around me. So that programme and indeed your message here is reminding me that I need my own space. DP has his own space, his office, the kids have their rooms, I have nothing.....need to change this somehow and claim somewhere for me. To allow me to do these things again. 

greenbee

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Watty1 said:

fabulous advice.  I drifted into what i do now.  I seem to be good at it.  before I did this I worked in sales and before that in hotel contracting for a tour operator. I think it is called a 'portfolio career'    I've never had a direction but it all worked out in the end, so, KK is right none of that "no direction" and I really hope you have a fab half term

I feel like lots of people seem to have no direction.....DP didn't either and it was only when we sat down and pulled out what he enjoyed about all the past jobs that we curated a job description that we put out to the universe....it turned out he got a meeting by accident with his current boss and kind of pitched to him the qualities he had that the boss went away and actually made this job for DP because there was a need for it in the industry... I am amazed I am able to help others do this and yet cannot do it for myself my weakness right there.....!

Helping others make difficult decisions is a lot easier than making them for yourself! I know I'm drifting work-wise at the moment, but while I'm perfectly happy mentoring other people in their careers, I don't seem to be able to work out what I should be doing myself. 

As for Watty's point about a 'portfolio career' she is absolutely right. I'm totally unqualified for my current role (and the previous couple), but have been offered interesting opportunities and taken them. Some have worked out, others have confirmed what I shouldn't be doing (running operations - I know we need processes and project management and systems and tools, but someone else needs to put them in place and manage them!). 

There are lots of creative roles that don't necessarily involve being self-employed or being a starving author in an attic! My current role is moving back to involving more writing - some of it is reports, some blog posts, some ebooks, some video content. My team is great (I'd rather not have management responsibilities, but it keeps HR off my boss's back), my boss is mostly great (we've worked together for most of the last 6 years at different companies, and known each other for several years before that), and I get to work from home 90% of the time. 

Given your success with vision boards (I'm rubbish at them), I think it's worth you building something as if it was for someone else. And then use what you learn to search based on the skills you want to use and develop and tasks/activities you want it to involve to find out what kinds of roles fulfil that need. They may be out there - but you may not know what to look for. 

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all, so DP & DS2 are off to some dry ski lessons. I hope they have fun!
My energy is up and down still. It is great in the morning but by lunch it has gone to around half energy and by 4pm I need a nanna nap  
I have ordered some electrolytes that should be here today, hopefully that will help. A friend from work was off for three weeks with it, I messaged her yesterday and she still isn't right and needed antibiotics...I hope she is recovered before we go back as she gets married the weekend after that! This was a nasty bug indeed & I don't know how it has missed DP & DC?! 
DP ended up making dinner last night and accidentally dropping three spices out of the cupboard and I could hear cursing down the hall - he is not a cook as much as he tries. He told me there is no food in the house. I went to look today and found 2 bags of potatoes, carrots and parsnips, cabbage, other veg that I didn't explore underneath those, as well as lentils, herbs, spices and well, basically enough for me to make a shepherdless pie so I will do that later. I think they might want it after a day outside in the cold. I also will make some fruit crumbles as I have GF flour and found some fruit in the freezer. Pfftt, no food. That is man looking for you. (sorry to nay men reading that know how to look properly).

Yesterday DP took me to collect a pair of ski boots he bought on FB for a tenner (what a bargain) and we decided to go take back a rug we didn't want any more and then go on to a restaurant that DP's business supplies for lunch. Well we got caught in traffic for over an hour. I was so tired by the time we got to the restaurant I was feeling a middle-aged toddler tantrum coming on. They didn't have the drinks we wanted and the waitress was really quite rude about it too, then I asked if they could veganise a veggie burger and she literally sighed at me and said no rather condescendingly and actually rolled her eyes at me. 😠 DP and I discussed leaving to go elsewhere as we were pretty shocked.....he uses this place to take his boss as they supply stock here...and yet...they had nothing in that they should have. The traffic had been so horrendous because of unplanned road works sprouting up everywhere that we stayed. We ordered what we could on the menu which was pretty bland and I felt really tired so therefore upset by this point because I could have been at home in the warmth, with comfy clothes on and have cooked something better than what we paid for. It was DP's valentine's treat for me and it was pretty much a disaster. We didn't manage to order anything we initially wanted. I think it will be fed back to the management and DP will probably say to pull the supply to there now too once they're up for renewal 🤷‍♀️.

Anyway we came home, I needed to nap and DP got on with some bits he wanted to do. Then he started dinner which was a throw together of chickpeas, mixed veg, pasta (GF for me) and sauce he tried bless him....it was okay. But today I will make dinner whilst he is out.

I also have plans for the kitchen. DP isn't the only one dropping spices all over him every time he opens that cupboard. I want to empty out EVERY cupboard onto the dining table and actually put some sort of order in the kitchen. Everything is still kind of thrown in from when we moved in. I have tupperware in with tins, and soup makers in with baking stuff, medicine in with cans and pie dishes. UGH. It is a big mess. I will empty out the cupboard I have in the dining room and move things like pie dishes and medicine to there. The games in that cupboard can now be relocated to the built in cupboards and bookshelves that DP has finally finished for me and I will restore some sort of order to my kitchen...it is my half term house goal. As it is my larder cupboard and fridge/ freezer are in the conservatory and I have to wander back and forth all the time for stuff so I would like some order in the actual kitchen. I also ripped one door off the hinge last week. Basically the hinge was broken (the whole kitchen needs binning) and every time I went into the cupboard the hinge was swing back and the door would smack me in the head. EVERY time. And I was still sticking my head in there. I know you think I would learn right? ANYhow, there was a child lock on the inside, and it was pointy and sharp and it would smack me in the temple every time. So that door saw my wrath the other day and I literally pulled it off. So, anyone know how to make a nice cloth door. I have some net wire and I will just cover it over with some nice fabric. It is right under the sink so I don't want the door back on and fixed as the sink spills over and we think that is why the hinge broke initially- too much water rusting it. 

So without further ado, I think it is time to get up and make use of my energy, go and put a wash on, start emptying cupboards and get a shepherd-less pie on to cook! I would like to catch up on everyone's diaries on here over half term too...i find so much inspiration on here to spur me on so need to come and have a little catch up. 

debtfreewannabe321

greenbee said:

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Watty1 said:

fabulous advice.  I drifted into what i do now.  I seem to be good at it.  before I did this I worked in sales and before that in hotel contracting for a tour operator. I think it is called a 'portfolio career'    I've never had a direction but it all worked out in the end, so, KK is right none of that "no direction" and I really hope you have a fab half term

I feel like lots of people seem to have no direction.....DP didn't either and it was only when we sat down and pulled out what he enjoyed about all the past jobs that we curated a job description that we put out to the universe....it turned out he got a meeting by accident with his current boss and kind of pitched to him the qualities he had that the boss went away and actually made this job for DP because there was a need for it in the industry... I am amazed I am able to help others do this and yet cannot do it for myself my weakness right there.....!

Helping others make difficult decisions is a lot easier than making them for yourself! I know I'm drifting work-wise at the moment, but while I'm perfectly happy mentoring other people in their careers, I don't seem to be able to work out what I should be doing myself. 

As for Watty's point about a 'portfolio career' she is absolutely right. I'm totally unqualified for my current role (and the previous couple), but have been offered interesting opportunities and taken them. Some have worked out, others have confirmed what I shouldn't be doing (running operations - I know we need processes and project management and systems and tools, but someone else needs to put them in place and manage them!). 

There are lots of creative roles that don't necessarily involve being self-employed or being a starving author in an attic! My current role is moving back to involving more writing - some of it is reports, some blog posts, some ebooks, some video content. My team is great (I'd rather not have management responsibilities, but it keeps HR off my boss's back), my boss is mostly great (we've worked together for most of the last 6 years at different companies, and known each other for several years before that), and I get to work from home 90% of the time. 

Given your success with vision boards (I'm rubbish at them), I think it's worth you building something as if it was for someone else. And then use what you learn to search based on the skills you want to use and develop and tasks/activities you want it to involve to find out what kinds of roles fulfil that need. They may be out there - but you may not know what to look for. 

I think this is sound advice and exactly what I would say to someone else so I think it is time for me to take that advice and do something with it. I am always scared of reaching too high and failing so I just take what is on offer. And the lower level jobs I keep going for I am beyond, and the recruiters know it which is why I get offered them so quickly....but I need to stop being such a scaredy cat and reach a bit higher. 

KajiKita

debtfreewannabe321 said:

CrazyBee787 said:

ooh Happy half term from me also. Enjoy the rest. A lot of people have said to me why not do something different, well maybe the best course of action is do the same but with a better environment? Is there somewhere else doing the same job a possibility? but hopefully better behaved kids?

I just don't know....the job is easy. A little too easy. I feel like without the challenging behaviour and safeguarding issues and emotional stuff going on it would be very boring. 

I can't believe i just said that............. 🤔😯

Interesting …..
So, is it that the job is too easy?
Or that you relish the challenge of meeting other people’s struggles?

One thought I had, which might be useless, is to work in a proper SEN school, maybe even a private one, if there is one local to you?

My other thought is to stop ‘compromising’ yourself with ‘just a job’ - the Universe will get confused with that as you are not being clear with it - it’s a mixture of ‘I want’ and ‘I don’t care’ …
Just feel what you want with no caveats. You’ve started a good list already with local, decent wage etc. 

Well done for identifying that you haven’t got but do need your own space. In the short term could that be your bedroom for an hour a day? In the longer term perhaps that could be the garden room?

KK

debtfreewannabe321

KajiKita said:

debtfreewannabe321 said:

CrazyBee787 said:

ooh Happy half term from me also. Enjoy the rest. A lot of people have said to me why not do something different, well maybe the best course of action is do the same but with a better environment? Is there somewhere else doing the same job a possibility? but hopefully better behaved kids?

I just don't know....the job is easy. A little too easy. I feel like without the challenging behaviour and safeguarding issues and emotional stuff going on it would be very boring. 

I can't believe i just said that............. 🤔😯

Interesting …..
So, is it that the job is too easy?
Or that you relish the challenge of meeting other people’s struggles?

One thought I had, which might be useless, is to work in a proper SEN school, maybe even a private one, if there is one local to you?

My other thought is to stop ‘compromising’ yourself with ‘just a job’ - the Universe will get confused with that as you are not being clear with it - it’s a mixture of ‘I want’ and ‘I don’t care’ …
Just feel what you want with no caveats. You’ve started a good list already with local, decent wage etc. 

Well done for identifying that you haven’t got but do need your own space. In the short term could that be your bedroom for an hour a day? In the longer term perhaps that could be the garden room?

KK

The job would be too easy without the issues I currently have...but the behaviour and emotional dramas I put up with every day put a stop to that 🤣🙈.

A garden room is exactly what I'm planning on...we have a secluded spot at the back of the garden where the old dilapidated summer house (remember the one with the roof blown off) sits a perfect size and spot for a new room for me! I think perhaps a job that needs pushing up the list when my ISA matures....!

debtfreewannabe321

Okay I've stripped the bed, put one wash on. Building up to emptying cupboards 🙈🤣. I've emptied out DS room of washing and washing up 🙄....me to DS yesterday...do you have any washing up? No he says. Oh right, I say, thinking yeh right I will just collect it tomorrow then when you're out rather than argue through your door for ten minutes 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️.

I've meditated. And done my gratitude list for today..one thing I was most grateful for was having a semi- finished front room now. When we moved in it was awful - filthy literally with coal dust all over the walls. The carpet is still not nice with stains but it's been cleaned now so passable for the moment and DP got on with putting some shelves up and building a few cupboards. I'm grateful for his DIY skills 🙏🏻😁 we still need to finish filling, sanding,  painting and find some cupboard knobs but the living room is a nice spot now and not dirty. I still am at a loss as to what to do with the fireplace that I just can't love and I'd like a nice mirror for above it that is the right size. But here's an update....I've filled the fireplace with plants to hide it 😁🤣 and unpacked some books although I'm definitely going to need more shelves some place else! But picture rails,.coving and new paint make the world of difference in here. 

Before and after (ish still a bit to paint above picture rails etc) pics. I've had a move around of furniture and mirrors too. We called our box/ bookshelves ald1 middle aisle special ones (banana boxes on their sides 🤣🙈)
Right off to sort this kitchen out now!