Watty's Awakening

Watty1

Ah the restraining order was unusually written, it lasted indefinitely but only until the house was sold.  There was no physical violence just emotional and financial and so he was not deemed a physical threat apparently.

The whole contact has rattled me a lot.  I had two large glasses of wine and slept soundly but @daisy_1571 was correct, I am emotionally very up and down.  He still has the power to get inside my head and rattle me probably because some part of me wishes things were different and yet a large part of me looks at my life and realises it is so much better today.  Lazy morning so far watching TV of all things. Unlike me but I felt like hunkering down although the dog and cat were no comfort at all.  

daisy_1571

Its bound to get easier as the time stretches and it becomes further in the past.  Each contact is hopefully diminishing, this time for example you told him a few home truths, last time you froze.  If there's a next time it will be easier for you to completely ignore him.  He'll find somebody new soon and if he contacts again when that breaks down you won't even turn a hair.

Not sure why you are still so drawn to him but hopefully you can get to grips with that and allow him no more head space.  After all, he can't get in there without you allowing it so cognitive behaviour is bound to have a few ideas on breaking that thought pattern. 

Hunker down today, have a lovely Sunday.  Do it because you want to, not because you feel he forced you to, shift those thought patterns round all the time   

Xx

PennysIntoPounds

Enjoy a snuggly Sunday doing nothing, it's exactly what's needed sometimes. All the comfort for you, and no guilt!
Your adrenalin levels must be all over the place so take it easy on yourself 

badmemory

But & it is a very big important but.  He didn't get into your head until after you had dealt with him.  Or if he did you didn't let it show.  That must be classed as a major win.

KajiKita

I wasn’t reading your diary when all the stuff with the ex was going on, but if I have picked up the details correctly, the other change about your interaction with your ex this time, was that you *immediately* went:
”I don’t want to do what he says. This is making me uncomfortable.”
and came to talk to us, whereas before you probably would have gone along with it?

KK

Watty1

I need to go back for some more CBT I think but each interaction does get easier and now after a couple of good nights sleep I just feel a low grade anger but so pleased I said what I said.   I'm now working on putting out of my mind using some of the techniques last therapist gave me.

The 1st July.   A new month. Time to regroup.  The month began with a trip to the doctors and an appointment made to have an unsightly lump removed.  He has reassured me it is nothing to worry about but the location (inside thigh) suggests it should be removed before it gets bigger so that is to be done next month.

I'm due to have the rest of the dental work to fix the crown back after all the uck and bit of metal file was removed later today.

The farrier is due for the Fell Pony whose feet are a mess and I have had to make an emergency appointment.  My farrier is wonderful and I'm sorry I will miss him but the VNM is going to let him in, hand over the cash and pass on the message about the feet (yes, I know they are a mess, and yes I know the pony has thrush and I'm dealing with it but it will be easier once they are trimmed)  

PennysIntoPounds

Excellent regrouping. Have a wonderful July 

daisy_1571

heres to 1sts! 

Dxx

Watty1

Difficult dental trip.  Seems I didn't really understand the treatment schedule.   So another 1.5 hour appointment to remove the antiseptic "stuff" that had been sealed in after the last visit and sort the root canal out properly then a discussion about future plans. 

We discussed implant and other options and he very kindly said he was a restorative dentist so his preferred option was a bridge but if I saw an implant specialist their preferred option would be an implant.  We talked over the options and why he feels an implant may not look right in the gap that exists where he is doing the work then he gave me a written quote and details of all the suggested work and ran through what he thinks the implant specialist will charge. 

Both options were a financial ouch and having thought it over I am going to go with his ideas, but, have a chat with my regular dentist first who I am seeing on Thursday.  I like my regular dentist and value his opinions and he has been really very supportive over the dramas of the last few years including treating me FOC when some mouth problems occurred that he thought were due to the stress of the ex.   If my regular dentist agrees with my reasoning then after seeing him I am booked to the restorative chap afterwards.  

In other news the farrier turned up and told me to stop fretting about the Fell Pony and promised it would all come good although he does agree the hoof is a mess and it is wonder the pony is actually not lame.  We have agreed four weekly visits moving forwards and as the farrier's time keeping is so appalling I did not have to rely on the VNM to pass on messages.  Sometimes the man's appalling time keeping can be a blessing.

Slinky

One thing I think you need to consider with the dental situation is whether the restorative work is going to be a permanent solution, and what the lifespan of an implant is likely to be. I've mentioned before I spent a lot on root canal work that then cost me hundreds to have removed and then £2200 for an implant which I hope will be a one off job. Hopefully your regular dentist can give you a good idea of the benefits of both options. My tooth had particularly curly roots which obviously didn't help in terms of getting a good outcome.