Watty's Awakening

Watty1

Phew where did that week go?  Rhetorical question.   The good:  I had a beginners confidence jumping lesson with the charming cob.   I have not jumped in the longest time, maybe 7 years?   I've been trying to take him to a confidence to jump clinic since the start of the year and not managed it so I messaged the lady and did a session at home with borrowed equipment. I loved it!  The Charming Cob not so much. I am going to get the vet out to blood test him as I have some ideas but we need advice.

The bad.  The VNM's mother has decided she is dying (again).  Her breathing is bad, Monday he saw her and was very worried so Tuesday we went back and I had a chat with a friend who is a doctor.   Mother was very difficult indeed.  The rest of the week was spent liaising with her doctor and social services as the VNM was out on site and could not get to a phone.   The VNM mother disgusted I am involved and told him how disappointed in him she is that he has not taken time off to help her.    He actually did take Friday off as it was the only way to get her to see a doctor Diagnosis:  possibly water on the lungs. Possibly COPD.  Referred for more tests which she will only attend if he takes time off to take her.   I found out her garage roof was leaking and arranged for my builder to go and fix it and she fired him before he even started because I had done it.  ARGH

KajiKita

The jump lesson sounds wonderful 😊 But I am sorry to hear that Charming Cob is under the weather. Hope that whatever it is ailing him is easily fixable 🤞

VNM’s mother sounds like a selfish, self focused fool and should be left to her own grumpy devices! I know in practice you can’t do this though … 😉 Is she lonely and this is why she is being so manipulative? 

KK

PennysIntoPounds

That's great about the jumping, well done. Hope vet is helpful.

Does rather sound like VNM Mum is jealous of you rather than genuinely needing help, but that might be very unfair of me. If she's unwell and/or panicking and is trying to assert some control in the small ways she can then that's shoddy behaviour but I guess all humans are like that in some form sometimes. Hope her appointments get sorted and the situation settles down quickly. And if she doesn't want you spending your time helping her then no skin off your nose, not like you don't have other things to enjoy and achieve with your days!

Watty1

I think the VNM mother is scared but also very manipulative and not that nice based on a lot of family stories I have heard from her family (but they are her family love her and forgive her).

Anyway yes scared but at the same time what she really wants is for him to give up work and move in with her and take care of her.  It has taken a while to get this out of her but that is what she wants.   I'm beyond angry because that would mean he gives up a a job he loves.  She has already told him he won't inherit anything as she has re written her will - he knew that because that was "a performance" that lasted months so why on earth she thinks he will give up his income stream is beyond me but she does.   I've found a car service that will take her to medical appointments at a reduced fee, suggested a way to eat meals based on what I learnt with my ex and arranged a referral for mobility aids.

However over the weekend I realised that the manipulation is too much for me to cope with after the last couple of years.   I've helped out a lot, got social services to do an assessment today but, for me, it is step away time.   She may well be trying to control her life in micro details but I need to go back to doing my own life now.



 

ajmoney

Watty1 said:

However over the weekend I realised that the manipulation is too much for me to cope with after the last couple of years.   I've helped out a lot, got social services to do an assessment today but, for me, it is step away time.   She may well be trying to control her life in micro details but I need to go back to doing my own life now.

Some people don't realise what they have and don't want to be helped. It is not selfish to walk away and look after yourself, especially after the last few years x

badmemory

I agree with AJ.

Sometimes manipulators out-manipulate themselves.

Debsnewbudget

You have made the correct decision to walk away, well,done.

PennysIntoPounds

What a twisted person. What does she think he's going to eat with no job and no inheritance? Manipulation dust?
You have done plenty to be of help, bravo on saying 'enough'

beanielou

Absolutely the correct decision. 

daisy_1571

agreed with all above 

Dxx