Watty's Awakening

Watty1

badmemory said:

I'm going to tell you a tale.  My friends wife died in 2006.  He found that her current handbag had a lot of money in it & a bit later he found another one.  I am talking over 5k.  When the time came for him to move house over 10 years later his son & dil were helping him already when I turned up to help.  They were just putting her stuff in bin liners to go in the skip.  So I was there yelling stop what you are doing.  Made them go through everything & sure enough more money, not such large quantities but a whole lot more than you would want to throw away.  We also found envelopes taped to the bottom of drawers.  Put it another way some people can do some very odd things & she wasn't even 60 then.

My goodness that is a cautionary tale.  With my grandmother I was very careful but I roughly knew where things were and I was right and she had always told me to just do what I saw fit and she had made sure I was a signatory on her account so it was easy for me.  (although I did find a couple of bonds and a couple of white £5 notes that I had never seen the like of - my mother took those).

With PPH's father I checked everything "just in case".  

Watty1

Well we have found wills, a number of them but apparently not "the will" which is with a friend of hers.  We rang A in the end to ask if she had any idea about funeral instructions with a will.  There were none but she had a later will than we found. I'm not entirely sure I understand the will as it is very strangely worded and I do have a question mark about the state of her mind, but again, not my family so I will just continue supporting where I can.

Best guess in this case I think for the funeral and have said so.  I suggested he and his daughter think of music she would have liked in advance of the meeting to arrange funeral.

If I feel overwhelmed at the house goodness knows what the VNM must really be thinking. He says he is fine, but his room his overstocked with his stuff and he lives with me now in reality although mostly when she moved back in, he moved into one room (his house is rented out, he was renting hers)

I was horrified to find myself looking at letters about nothing, till receipts from 5 years ago, annual insurance letters from 20 years ago and so on.  I put everything back where I found it although I was itching to ask for a bin.  I had not been asked to clear, just to look for instructions so I did.   

Made me more than ever adamant to continue with my clearing.  I never want anyone to feel like I did today when I am gone and I suspect her house will remain like that for a very long time to come.

ajmoney

Watty1 said:

Made me more than ever adamant to continue with my clearing.  I never want anyone to feel like I did today when I am gone and I suspect her house will remain like that for a very long time to come.

My mum and dad said that after they cleared my paternal grandmother's house. I think they potentially want our help with it while they are living (that is not meant to sound horrible) so I should see if there is a time my sister and I can find to both go and visit. I think I remember my mum saying something along thouse lines though.

My mum is a hoarder and my dad isn't so it could be an interesting sort out if it happens but my mum did mention about having recently donated some stuff to charity. Maybe they are doing better at ditching stuff than me...

I hope you are doing ok Watty. It sounds like it could be really overwhelming when it comes to sorting the house out.

daisy_1571

do you have to take the pile of wills in date order to a solicitor and let them decide which one stands?

Agree re checking everything  - nothing should leave the house without checking.  People stuff things in pockets, things drop down the sides of couch seats, they use things as bookmarks.  Remember to check the tiny zipped pockets in the linings of handbags (we found a gold necklace in one in a house we were clearing), inside pockets in jackets sometimes there's a second zipped pocket.  A family member did the money taped under and behind drawers, sewn inside curtain hems, wrapped inside ornaments, tucked under the edges of carpets etc etc.  Nightmare house to clear.  The immediate family had to limit who was allowed in as they were finding notes everywhere lol.

Dxxx

Ps can I come help clear the house with you watty please?  I'm also itching to grab a black bag lol

Cherryfudge

Another place to check for things is inside the lining of clothes - things fall through holes in pockets. 

themadvix

Cushion covers - if you asked my nan to borrow some cash, it would be hidden in a cushion.

Sorry to hear the news Watty. I’m sure VNM is really appreciative of your calm, non-interfering support.

Chrystal

Thinking of you and sending gentle (((hugs))) XX

PennysIntoPounds

Is it worth asking the care home if she brought any papers in with her, or mentioned to a staff member any important places? 

badmemory

Be sure to ask if they have any mail for her in their office too.

Humdinger1

@Watty1 just sending hugs.  You are making a brilliant job of this, as ever.  We are all building you a podium to stand on - top human.  Love Humdinger xx